With So Much Drama In The LHC

Alternate title: You Down With LHC?

Post coming later today (assuming the universe is still here).

I’ve been planning an LHC (yeah, you know me) comic for about a month and today seemed like the best time to pull the trigger. Acting under the assumption that there this is still an “is” and the Swiss have failed at their attempt to explode every molecule in our bodies at the speed of light, I’ll go ahead and breath a cautious sigh of relief. I’m all for science. Don’t get me wrong. I’m just more for… being and such.

I have a relative that worked on the Superconducting Super Collider here in TX before the project was shut down and the miles of underground tunnels were converted to miles of ABANDONED underground tunnels. I used to hope that they would get it up in running and I would be able to sneak on on “Family Day” or something and use the machine to shoot a peanut butter sandwich through an orangutan. Seems like they would have an ample supply of both.

I’ve been collecting Large Hadron Collider related links for a few weeks in hopes of making some sense out of any of these “Big Un-Bang” claims that have been floating around the tubertrons. In the end, the only thing that was clear was that “Goatsengularity” is the reason I was put on earth. I have enriched the world and touched each of your lives and now I can return to my stasis pod and sleep for 1000 years or until I am needed again.

A few FB’s made their peace with the world on the eve of it’s destruction.

Here’s the links I mentioned:

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46 Comments

  1. GOATSEngularity is a stroke of genius, but "existy" made me laugh even more!

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  2. Like how excited/pleased Josh is with his goatsengularity!

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  3. If you look long enough into it… you can see the future.

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  4. Josh finally has a hole in his body large enough to be f@#$ed by Cloverfield.

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  5. for the sequel in October when they start colliding things: 2 Hadrons, 1 Black Hole

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  6. considered it but figured no one is going to be talking about this after the world doesn't/does end.

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  7. It is my most brilliant creation. I might retire.

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  8. "existy" reminded me of Whedon-speak.

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  9. faced with a similar situation the real Josh probably would be too.

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  10. but who would want to? thats gross. If there was money in Goatse's asshole, would you take it?

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  11. I tagged this post with "josh dies" but I never said how…

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  12. this is either the highest compliment you could ever pay me or… no its just a compliment.

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  13. Are you sure that's from the LHC and not that Josh just stopped over at Taco Bell for a 24 pack first? I'd think the results would be about the same either way.

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  14. The first thing that comes to mind reading your response is "Josh, the Bacon Slayer"

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  15. That depends. How much money?

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  16. Half of my vocabulary is Whedoning up words.

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  17. Aww I thought it was so funny with the Swedes comment but I also like the Swiss change so all good. We all know it's the Dutch you have to watch out for.

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  18. *runs around the neigborhood naked* WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!*starts sying senseless glibberish* *puts a mask and acts like a pyro from TF2* mmmmmF, MMMF, mmf! MMMMmmmfff! *starts f***** random people* WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! AND I CANT DIE VIRGIN!

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  19. All day today people were shouting that the LHC was gonna kill us, even though I repeatedly mentioned that there's not enough energy on Earth to sustain even a microscopic black hole for more than a trillisecond, or whatever it's called. This comic made me feel slightly better.

    Although, in case you're one of the paranoid people, you should check this: http://www.hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com/

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  20. let's just say it did happen. How much time in orgy size would you have between it occurring and getting sucked into it?

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  21. Looking at the first panel I thought it was something to do with Lost (the shirt resembling Dharma Initiative emblem).
    Great comic, I still think Goatsengularity would make a cool shirt, along with tequila waterboarding. Anyway wouldnt that be a fucking epic way to go, planet eaten by a black hole, doomed by science.

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  22. BTW the panicked look on Joel's face in the last panel is awesome.

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  23. You assume right, but upon further reflection I bet most people wont get that so I changed it. Thank you for spending your last moments reading HE.

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  24. If they were really worried, why were they just going about their business as usual? Thats pretty damn desensitized.

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  25. I just laughed so hard that I think I need to change my undies. Anything with goatse as the punchline now-a-days is retro epic.

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  26. Best. Comic. Ever. Thanks for a great laugh!

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  27. GOATSEngularity! You were right, that IS the best word ever! Also, I /know/ you've considered making that a real T-shirt.

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  28. I dunno. Maybe they thought the manager would fire them if they died before finishing those TPS reports?

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  29. I think this is the first comic tagged "Josh Dies" where Josh is still technically alive at the end of it

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  30. I was going to say that while RealJoel and RealEli are slightly different from their comic counterparts (one slightly less violent; one slightly less sleepy), RealJosh and ComicJosh are pretty much the same. RealJosh has just confirmed it.

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  31. Seeing as how the Swiss are extremely neutral…does this mean Canada has some crazy supercolidin' atom asplodin' death machine?

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  32. Did the micro black hole get Kim Jong Il? He's still missing, right?

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  33. dude, if the end of the world is coming, it may as well be birthed from my stomach. you're fuckin' right i would play with it.

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  34. We're alive now, we're not meant to be, thus we are all immortal. I suggest you crazy yanks exercise your right to bear arms and fire live rounds at each other like you're paint-balling, except for real…

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  35. let me get my sword…

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  36. You thought my comment was funny (tears form) THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE!

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  37. I don't think that's panic, I think its glee.

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  38. The best part was when people started issuing the scientists death threats.

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  39. If you blow up our universe, Im going to kill you.

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  40. From what I here he's been dead for 10 years.

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  41. "GOATSEngularity" made me LOL =D

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