2015-09-15-sharksplode-consumed-by-flames

Consumed By Flames

2015-09-15-sharksplode-consumed-by-flames

“Golly gee-whiz, Nihilism Dad, you always know just what to say to make me realize how futile our petty existence, how insignificant our place in the Universe, how pointless everything we are IS. You’re the best! I’m gonna go steal from a sick person because fuck it!”

Dearest Sharksploders, please help me get my Patreon over the $2000 hump. Comics is my full time job, but it doesn’t currently pay full time money. I’ve been doing a lot of freelance work lately (which distracts me from making comics) to make ends meet, and I’ve agreed to attend more conventions this year than I really feel comfortable with (which REALLY distracts me from making comics) out of financial fear. Every little bit helps and is QUITE appreciated.

sharksplode-patreon-banner-180

 

2015-08-31-all-the-singularity-ladies

All The Singularity Ladies

2015-08-31-all-the-singularity-ladies

“Put your hands up. Now take your hands off. Now replace your hands with titanium laser claws. Now crush those who oppose your transcendent metamorphosis. Oh oh ohhhh, oh oh ohhh, oh oh ohhh, oh-oh ohhh ohhhh.”

It would mean a lot to me if you signed up for Patreon and supported me there. Comics is my full time job, but it currently just barely pays full time money. Every little bit helps.

sharksplode-patreon-banner-200

As man and machine become every more closely integrated, keep in mind how only every OTHER iPhone works like it’s supposed to. I’m just saying that I won’t be the one beta testing the new Mind-Wave data interface until they work the bugs out. I’ll let the early adopters find out if their eyeballs get turned to liquid if they accidentally cross into a different timezone, or their intestines get spontaneously ejected when they have background app refresh turned on.

I’m sure the Steve Jobs of the 2040’s (which will probably be a holographic Steve Jobs created from an amalgam of his personal journals, email correspondence and Apple Keynotes) will try to convince the industry that sex organs are just relics of the past and we only cling to them to enforce backwards compatibility with outdated formats. Heheh. Cling. Heheh. Backwards compatibility.

2014-09-17-gross-up-close

Gross Up Close

2014-09-17-gross-up-close

My friend Kris, got me a present. Two presents actually. The first was a USB microscope. He had seen how much I enjoyed playing with his: (putting it on my keyboard to see all the weird gunk and hairs and garbage that sits undetected between the keys and the cavities beneath them, seeing how nothing in this world is actually smooth, checking out the seemingly impossible intricate weave patterns in ordinary clothing), so he got me one of my own. The second gift he gave me was knowledge or, rather, the burden of knowing. Knowing too much about what I am; what WE are. What horrible things; what pulsating, undulating barrels of wretched, oily hideousness our bodies are. I’ve seen too much. Like the man who stood on the edge of the void and saw only the blackness within him staring back, I know too much.

potter and daughter podcast logo hijink ensue

When my Patreon reaches $2000/month I’m going to release a new podcast where upon I interview my 7 years old daughter as she reads through the Harry Potter series. It’s called Potter And Daughter and it’s awesomefreakinadorableashell! More details HERE.
becomepatron

The first thing you do when someone hands you a super powerful, digital microscope hooked up to a laptop is put it on your arm. You think, “Wow! My skin is so textured and my hairs are HUGE and… what… what’s that?” You see a weeping pool of bright red blood, surrounded by a layer cake of craggy, almost transparent chips of skin. You quickly remove the microscope to see how much longer you have to live, only to discover that this wellspring of erupting platelets and plasma is just a tiny red dot. Not even an injury. Just a dot. You put the microscope back and once again are greeted with the intricate carnage of what it is to be man. All day, every day we are just a collection of gaping sores, spilling out our vital fluids all over the place.

From our vantage point, four to six feet in the air, so far removed from all things tiny and precise, we don’t often see just how FUCKING RIDICULOUSLY GROSS we all are. But that was just a little blood and torn skin. What about my face? What’s going on in the pits and crevices of the visage that I present to the world? On the thing that is, more than anything else, me? Turns out it’s a GODDAMN HORROR SHOW. The reason I didn’t draw what Joel is seeing on the screen in the panels above is that I want you to be able to sleep tonight, or any night in the future between here and eternity. The best lesson I learned from “The Knowledge” is that nothing we do matter. We are too big and dumb and slow to actually effect anything on this planet and we are too tiny and frail and insignificant to effect anything off of it. I came upon this ultimate clarity when I saw my face under the microscope, saw the macabre nightmare that was me, washed it as best as I could then came back and saw how futile my efforts were. I might as well have used a garden hose to put out a wildfire. I’m gross, you’re gross, we’re all gross and then we die and the Universe doesn’t even notice.

Calling all Whovians with holes in their ears! Just look at these Dalek earrings my wife made! They’re in her Etsy store and ready to EXTERMINATE your… lack of perfect ear jewelry?

dalek earrings etsy science and fiction

2014-09-12-i-was-working-in-the-lab-late-one-night

I Was Working In The Lab, Late One Night

2014-09-12-i-was-working-in-the-lab-late-one-night

potter and daughter podcast logo hijink ensue

When my Patreon reaches $2000/month I’m going to release a new podcast where upon I interview my 7 years old daughter as she reads through the Harry Potter series. It’s called Potter And Daughter and it’s awesomefreakinadorableashell! More details HERE.
becomepatron

Calling all Whovians with holes in their ears! Just look at these Dalek earrings my wife made! They’re in her Etsy store and ready to EXTERMINATE your… lack of perfect ear jewelry?

dalek earrings etsy science and fiction

2014-03-05-science-officer-to-the-bridge

Science Officer To The Bridge

2014-03-05-science-officer-to-the-bridge

The IRL Saturn presentation was yesterday, and Kiddo did great. She presented all her research (this fact was my favorite), passed around the info about our Solar system that Bobak sent her, then she fielded questions from her classmates. One kid asked why they couldn’t walk on the rings of Saturn and she said, “Because my Mommy said so.” Another kid asked why God would make a planet out of gas, Kiddo just sort of stared at her and the teacher popped in with, “He can make anything.” So… yay for science?

BIG BIG NEWS! I have started a Patreon! 

becomepatron

Pledge at $3, $5, $10, $20, $50 or $100 a month and you will be supporting me being able to do what I love for a living: Making comics.

With each Milestone Goal you’ll get MORE COMICS EACH WEEK (we are dangerously close to unlocking a real M/W/F update schedule, with 4 and 5 comics per week down the road), more eBooks, more videos, exclusive Google Hangouts and LOTS MORE (maybe even a return of the HijiNKS ENSUE Podcast!). Patreon makes managing the updates and rewards super simple.

Patreon is essentially replacing my Paypal recurring donations, so feel free to switch over. For the full rundown, read my blog post HERE, or just watch the video on MY PATREON PAGE which explains everything in 3.5 minutes. Kiddo has a cameo and it’s crazy adorable.

HijiNKS ENSUE Patreon Video

 

On the 2nd day we went past $350, so I uploaded this video of me and my daughter covering Adventure Time Songs as a thank you.

HijiNKS ENSUE Daddy Daughter Adventure TIme Covers