Reasons I Love Teh Internets: Vol 1

It is a well documented fact that I love the Internet. You may counter, “Well, if you love it so much, why don’t you marry it?” Two reasons: A) I’m already married, and 2) judging from its proclivity towards pornography one can assume that the Internet is a dude. Not that I wouldn’t marry the Internet if it were a dude. It’s just that it would be illegal in Texas, and I’m not in the mood for a road trip to Massachusetts. Sidenote: “Homophobia” beat out “Racism” and “Fear” as the official “State Feeling of Texas” this year. “Blinding Rage” was a close second.

The point of this comic was simply to point out a few things that make the Intertron a special place for me. I generally gets my LOL Feline fix from I Can Has Cheezeburger. If you aren’t hip to the Cheeze then you need to stop reading this drivel and hop to it. I’m not kidding, you guys. They have pictures of cats with things on them that the cats DO NOT WANT to be on them. It’s hilarious. Hats, furniture, other cats. You name it, they will put it on a cat and take a picture.

What can I say about Tay Zonday. Tay Zonday, some stay dry and others feel the pain. Tay Zonday, a baby born will die before the sin. Tay Zonday, made me cross the street the other day. Tay Zonday, Josh once accused him of inward singing.

Wikipedia is a treasure like none other. Sometimes I want to know things. Some guy already knew those things and wrote about them in Wikipedia. Those things often have to do with Hobbits and Transformers.

(Yes, that’s Utah Raptor from Dinosaur Comics that General Eli is riding. Good eye!)

Finally, Myspace. Myspace is a fucking piece of shit. It is, by far, the worst thing I have ever used for any reason, in any capacity or circumstance. The UI is non-existent and the features are the opposite of features. To call them “features” would be like calling weeping sores a “feature” of herpes. Check out my Myspace!

The “Vol. 1” in the title eludes to some possibility of a follow up. What Internets should I tackle next?

Bonus: You can download a hi-res version of the Wikipedia panel here.

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  1. LMAO! I loved this one! Truly the funniest one thus far!

    Josh looking all crazed and pervy! Joel singing out of the corner of his mouth! Eli in a powdered wig! This much hilarity should be outlawed.

    And I totally second your MySpace comment. I keep asking myself everyday why I keep using it. It's like being stuck in an abusive relationship.

    Yay first comment!

  2. @AJ

    I don’t “use” Myspace so much as I “loathe” it while it. I get at least 1 “friend request” a day from a young lady that wants me to view her “secret profile” on a different website because Myspace made her take down her sexy pics. I get out my credit card and… wait. They got me again. This is a ruse.


    Hey, thanks! You dont see enough “kudos” handed out these days.

  3. I am going to go above and beyond Kudos, and give you some Kudus. As you may know or may not know, or not want to know, a Kudu is a sort of Antelope many of which I have seen while living in Africa. Here is the youboobs video of one getting killed or something:

    Also I thinks that one of the best parts, or tube sections of the Intratubes as I never refer to it as, is the wonderfully untraceable world of instant messaging, not to mention the fairly untraceable Bits of Torrent that often swarm (see what i did there? har har, um nm).

    I also use at least 20 googles each day. Oh what the hell, have some Kudos too!

  4. @Anable

    That reminds me of the “Whatchamacallit” bar. Remeber that? It was like a rice crispy treat covered in chocolat.e


    You’ve worked so hard to confuse me. It worked! Good job!

  5. Hah, that first panel is simply classic. 🙂

    Maybe do something with Internet memes for the next one? That, or attack Facebook and its “I’m not really stalking you, but yeah, I totally am” functions.

  6. @ Kevin

    Im not even interested in finding out what sort of “implement” he would use to gouge my eyes out with, were he hiding in the ceiling and spying on me.

  7. @ Paul

    I’d have to know more about Facebook in order to properly deconstruct it.

    I was going to call the Myspace band “The Memes” but then I figured there probably was already a real band on myspace with that name.

  8. @ilk

    Look, he wouldnt be in the ceiling if he didnt know what he was getting into.


    I HAS A FLAVOR (is what killed me the first time).

  9. @ Joel for Anable’s comment

    I do remember them! They were my favorite candy bar growing up! I wonder if the weird pop-arty commercials are online? *Goes off to YouTube them*

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