When Memes Attack


2009-04-15-signed-comic-printsLet me preface by saying that I am in no way making fun of the situation, the people that were killed or the brave men and women that performed the rescue operation. I am making fun of the fact that it is 2000-and-fucking-9 and THERE ARE STILL ACTUAL PIRATES! How does this happen? How are their people alive on this planet that make their living pillaging and hoarding booty and such? Do they have wenches? Peg legs? Peg boys? It really does seem too ridiculous to NOT have come crawling out of the internet.

Question time:
What meme should come to life next, and how will it manifest in the real world?


With apologies to the baby Jesus


In closing out “ought and seven,” I wanted to give my readers (you lot) a present. This comic pretty much sums up what Christmas means to me. Family, and togetherness, Eli with beer, and Ameria, and Truthiness, and Tron, and LOL Cats and the dark side of the Force. Yep, that is exactly what Christmas means to me.

So, you’ve been good boys and girls. On to your present. Here’s the above comic in nice downloadable desktop wallpaper format. I’ve done one large 4:3 aspect and one large wide aspect. Not sure what dimensions are really popular these days but I assume most of you know how to edit an image to a desired side. So pick square-ish or retangulish and have at it. MERRY SOMETHING WHATEVER!!!

Webcomic desktop wallpaper - Hijinks Ensue - Geek Nativity 2007

1920X1200 (wide)


Superman II: The Quest For an Unlocked iPhone


What is up with the tardiness? The last several days I’ve been hard at work on the Super Secret Project(TM). Enough with the waiting, here it is: Apple Insider Comics. A.I. approached me about doing a comic series for them after reading my iPhone Rebate comic. Have a look and drop me a line with your feedback. This should be fun.

I hope you enjoyed today’s comic. This one is a thinker. What does Steve Jobs or the iPhone have to do with Superman II? It’s a riddle. I’ll give you a clue. The answer is hidden somewhere in the comic. Here’s another clue. They don’t have anything to do with each other and the comic doesnt make any sense. In actuality, I was talking to Mikey about Terrance Stamp last weekend and as I drifted off instead of listening to him, I came up with this comic.


I wonder what Steve’s name is in this one. Steve-El? Jor-Obs? I guess the silken thread connecting all these unrelated concepts was that Steve said, “Go ahead! h4X0rz the shit out of the iPhone!” Then, later, he redacted that statement with, “OH NOZ! Do not h4X0rZ teh iPwn3!!! They R tryz 2 steal mah buckit!!!”

Seriously, I’m just putting LOLCATS references in everything I do from now on.

“Mr. Watson, the charges against you are very serious. How do you plead?”

“Your Honor, Teh gluvs do not fit! I CAN HAZ AQUIT?”

That’s exactly how I am rolling from now on.

I will conclude with this brief tale of woe. I call it, “The Worst Illegal File Sharing Scenario Ever.”

I was working on this comic and realized I needed to see the opening scene of Superman II to get the look right. I IM’d Josh and he had it, but only on HD-DVD. So my brilliant idea is to have us both open iChat and have him point his Macbook Pro at the screen. Admittedly, that is a retarded idea but it gets worse. Josh’s new apartment doesn’t have internet yet, so he is leeching WiFi from his neighbor’s signal… which only works in his bathroom. He’s been interneting on the toilet for a week. So he tried to record it with iMovie and email it to me, but iMovie freaked out. Then he pulls out his point and shoot camera and records the first 5 minutes of Superman II to SD card and transfers the AVI to me over IM. Then we invented the vulcanization process making the wide spread use of rubber possible and practical! Seriously, this was dark ages shit we were attempting. I’m surprised there wasn’t a Dictaphone involved.


Reasons I Love Teh Internets: Vol 1


It is a well documented fact that I love the Internet. You may counter, “Well, if you love it so much, why don’t you marry it?” Two reasons: A) I’m already married, and 2) judging from its proclivity towards pornography one can assume that the Internet is a dude. Not that I wouldn’t marry the Internet if it were a dude. It’s just that it would be illegal in Texas, and I’m not in the mood for a road trip to Massachusetts. Sidenote: “Homophobia” beat out “Racism” and “Fear” as the official “State Feeling of Texas” this year. “Blinding Rage” was a close second.

The point of this comic was simply to point out a few things that make the Intertron a special place for me. I generally gets my LOL Feline fix from I Can Has Cheezeburger. If you aren’t hip to the Cheeze then you need to stop reading this drivel and hop to it. I’m not kidding, you guys. They have pictures of cats with things on them that the cats DO NOT WANT to be on them. It’s hilarious. Hats, furniture, other cats. You name it, they will put it on a cat and take a picture.

What can I say about Tay Zonday. Tay Zonday, some stay dry and others feel the pain. Tay Zonday, a baby born will die before the sin. Tay Zonday, made me cross the street the other day. Tay Zonday, Josh once accused him of inward singing.

Wikipedia is a treasure like none other. Sometimes I want to know things. Some guy already knew those things and wrote about them in Wikipedia. Those things often have to do with Hobbits and Transformers.

(Yes, that’s Utah Raptor from Dinosaur Comics that General Eli is riding. Good eye!)

Finally, Myspace. Myspace is a fucking piece of shit. It is, by far, the worst thing I have ever used for any reason, in any capacity or circumstance. The UI is non-existent and the features are the opposite of features. To call them “features” would be like calling weeping sores a “feature” of herpes. Check out my Myspace!

The “Vol. 1” in the title eludes to some possibility of a follow up. What Internets should I tackle next?

Bonus: You can download a hi-res version of the Wikipedia panel here.