I Yam What I Yam, And That’s All What I Yam

Quick, you Fancy Bastards! You have less than 24 hours to hide from your miserable families! NO! Don’t hide there! That’s the first place they’ll look! Make haste! Burry yourself under a mountain and wait out the forced interaction with people you moved extremely far away from as soon as you had the means!

HijiNKS ENSUE British Knights Shirt at Topatoco I am officially starting “The War On Thanksgiving.” For starters I’m taking out the “Thanks” because to assume everyone you encounter is of the Thankful persuasion isĀ bigotedĀ and small minded. Feel free to use my newly coined phrase “Xgiving.” You may also wear buttons or ribbons that say “NO THANKS.” If nothing else this will at least confuse your relatives and keep them from talking to you over this long and arduous weekend of feigned interest, false pleasantries and familial responsibility.

NEWS: Holiday Shipping deadlines for the HE Store have been posted. PURCHASE! PURCHASE EVERYTHING NOW AND ALSO FOREVER!

COMMENTERS: Fill in the details of the first Hobo Thanksgravy story or any Thanksgravv tale thereafter. Also, over the holiday weekend you may post your “War on Thanksgiving” thoughts on Twitter with the #xgiving and #nothanks hash tags.

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  1. I prefer "Fuck-giving", where for one day, I go from giving a tenth of a fuck to a third or even half a fuck. (The only people who give a whole fuck are the people who serve turkey to the homeless…. without religion or ketamine.)

  2. I've missed Boxcar Pete so much! I'm glad he could come and share the magic of Thanksgiving with Josh.

    I'm also glad Josh was able to repay Boxcar Pete's gift of a story by making sure he gets a nice holiday meal.

  3. This is the kind of holliday where all that Minecraft pays off. Just dig a hole, jump in, plug it up and wait for the noise to stop.

    And they thought I was wasting my time, I'll show them. I'll show them ALL!

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