I watched Waterworld this weekend… again. For like the 500th time. At this points it’s unfair to even call it a “guilty pleasure.” It’s just a pleasure. There is so much to hate about that movie, but for some reason I find the whole to be vastly greater (or at least more enjoyable) than the [...]
“Now, SLASHER! now, THRASHER! now, MURDER and SCABIES! On, BITEY! on BLOODY! on, PLAGUEY and RABIES! To the top of his head! to the tops of his balls! Now bite away! scratch away! bleed away all!” The art from this comic was taken from one of my holiday cards. I will be running similar filler [...]
Quick, you Fancy Bastards! You have less than 24 hours to hide from your miserable families! NO! Don’t hide there! That’s the first place they’ll look! Make haste! Burry yourself under a mountain and wait out the forced interaction with people you moved extremely far away from as soon as you had the means! I [...]
Battlefield Earth screenwriter apologizes Ten Years Later, Someone Finally Apologizes For BATTLEFIELD EARTH… Today is the 2 year anniversary of “The Experiment.“ I announced it about a week after losing my last “real job” and have been professionally unemployed for the last 24 months. If you were to ask how I’ve made it this long I [...]
I just can’t seem to remember to cancel my Black Friday sale in the HE Store. I sure hope no one is in the mood for savings, because they could really take advantage of my forgetfulness. If someone wanted to know more about the fantastic savings or the new products (including the first ever HE [...]
Hey! It’s Boxcar Pete! You know, the lovable hobo that talks like a pirate? Little known fact about Pete, there’s no eyeball behind his monocle. Some say he isn’t a man at all, but a horde of ravenous rats stacked 6 feet high. Those people are stupid. He’s obviously a stab-happy hobo. Josh must be [...]
The Geeks Will Play. Starting today you will be treated to a trio of guest comics from your fellow Fancy Bastards. Regular HE programming will return on Friday 12-26-08. You may remember Didu from about 6 months ago when she sent me this completely awesome hand painted birthday card for HE’s one year anniversary. Her [...]
If the man yer dealin’ with asks for an activated iPhone, he’s gettin’ an ACTIVATED iPhone. A hobo’s word is his bond. So is his switchblade. Wait, that’s a crappy code. I think it’s, “A hobo is only as good as his word, and his word is only as good as his stabbing ability.” No, [...]
That’s right. Boxcar M-F’ing Pete. I need to see about getting him on the Podcast. I toyed with the idea of unlocking my current iPhone and eBaying it to some far away land where they aren’t actually available so I could afford an iPhone 3G. Then I started seeing reviews and articles saying, “The 3G [...]
Eli is a heavy sleeper. Who is that striking fellow making off with Eli’s fillings? Why it’s Boxcar Pete, the lovable transient stab-happy hobo. Pete will have his fill of fortified wine tonight, I tell you. The alley behind the Burger King will echo with the songs of his adventures. I know this isn’t your [...]
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