Bad Astrologer

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Bad news guys. The addition of a 13th Zodiac sign means you might have been reading the wrong horoscope for your entire life. Also you might have been reading horoscopes and believing them for your entire life which is additional (and more severe) bad news. It also means that Zodiac Killer should have killed at least one more person. This story is just full of missed opportunities.

Back to the Battlestar Galactica comparison for a minute: If you read the article linked below where the astronomer that started this whole thing explains the 13th celestial position, or whatever, he mentions that it is caused by a change in Earth’s orbit and relative position to other celestial bodies that cycles every 26,000 years. This has all happened before, amiright? And this will all happen again? Huh? Huh? I think my theory holds up.

Question for you BSG fans: Concerning the series Finale [SPOILERS], if modern scientists discovered Hera’s bones (the famous Australopithecus “Lucy” skeleton) and she was still 3 and a half feet tall, doesn’t that mean she died shortly after they reached Earth2? Did anyone else catch that or am I missing something? Puts even more of a downer on the finale. “Hey guess what? All those crazy mysteries? Space Angels. Also the baby died. See ya!”

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29 Comments

  1. Hera is Mitochondrial Eve not Australopithecus ”Lucy”. Lucy lived 3 million years ago. Mitochondrial Eve must have lived long enough to bear children and like stated on BSG about 150,000 years ago.
    First time I'm posting a comment. Now that I have new star sign I am a poster of comments. I am just hoping that the new sign will also make me more employable.

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  2. Bones?. What Hera bones?.

    BSG finished in 4×10 when Earth was found destroyed!. There’s nothing after that. A fitting end.

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    • The implication of the series was that the new earth they founded is now the earth we live on.

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      • i think he was making a joke about the declining quality of the show in its final season.

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  3. Ophiuchus is actually an old zodiac sign. It was pre-Babylonian, but the Babylonian's wanted to stream-line the zodiac system to fit the calenders, so dropped it. But with all these changes it is annoying, when I first learned about Ophiuchus, I was informed it was earlier in November for it's relative dates, but in the last few years they changed it to starting in November 23, now its November 29. But to make things worse I go from being a Scorpio to being a tampon.

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    • Scorpios are suddenly a rare species. I was one, and now I'm apparently a Libra. I ain't no steenkin Libra! :p
      I'm fully expecting my horoscopes to make twice as much sense now as before. Which is still zero. (0x0=0)

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      • Don't forget to carry the zero.

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  4. Wow, so the internet has finally encountered information that you would learn in any basic astronomy class. When I took Astronomy 101 years back, one of our lab exercises for precession was figuring out what our "real" signs would be. E.g., according to the Babylonian system, I'm a Cancer. But on the day I was born in 1973, the sun rose in Gemini. And yeah, Ophiuchus has always been there.

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  5. Man thats why I like the Chinese system better. I was born in the year of the monkey and that is not about to change. LONG LIVE THE MONKEY!

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    • It's not about to change until they tell us that since we have an extra quarter day every year, that sets the years off and we're all actually a different zodiac animal.

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    • Until China gets taken over by the crazy man in Korea and he tosses himself in as a Zodiac Animal…

      Because he's crazy.

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    • I am a cock

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  6. The Zodiac signs have shifted? HA! Take THAT, gypsy curse! No longer will weevils destroy my precious grains! Now, if I can only do something about my goat-feet.

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    • Perhaps a nice pair of Florsheim's, or a set of tasteful hoof spats?

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  7. The line from the finale was that she died as a "young woman" or something to that effect.

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  8. Is it really time for this old chestnut to come up again?

    Here's exactly the same story from 1995 – it flared up when everyone thought the world might end in 2000. That time the Babylonians were to blame, this time the Mayans but nothing else has changed:
    http://pqasb.pqarchiver.com/latimes/access/226373

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  9. Ive seen quite a few places that the new zodiac only applies to people born after 2009.

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    • I have heard the same thing Chavez, but on another aspect, we have 'astronomers' talking about 'astrology' — which are two different sciences altogether. 'Astrology' is 'Earth-centric' and not 'star-centric.' For the past 2,000+ years, astrologers have based their work on the tropics/seasons. (Tropic of Cancer…Tropic of Capricorn). So when the Seasons hit those, that is the astrological sign! So I'm still a Sea Goat! YAY!
      http://www.dailyhoroscope.com/horoscope-headlines

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      • Astrology is a science? Really?

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        • Pseudo-science. Kinda like paranormal investigators saying their field is totally relevant.

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  10. only up to season 3, Ignored the spoiler sign, regret it :(

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    • that was a SUPER bad idea. Although if its any consolation, as soon as you finish season 3 youve seen the best the series has to offer.

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  11. So I guess I'm a cylon now. I wonder if my spine glows during sex?

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    • Dude, get a hand mirror, a copy of Juggs and fistful of Lubriderm. Then you'll know.

      Or at least you'll be really relaxed.

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  12. I still need to get into BSG (I know, it's sad) and I made the mistake of reading the spoiler you posted. Dang it.

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  13. Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne!

    Sorry … someone had to …

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  14. Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Throne of Khorne!

    I was worried no-one had. That would be inconceivable!

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