A Left Turn At Albuquerque

2009-04-08-the-hijinks-ensue-store

J.J. Abrams must have some sort of geographical boner for places that start with “AUS,” because he debuted “Star Trek” in AUStralia a month before it’s US release (complete with a Wonkaesque Golden Ticket contest) and held a sneak preview in AUStin, TX. The Austin this was actually really cool. The fans thought they were showing up for “Wrath of Kahn” and  a 10 minute sneak preview of “Star Trek.” Instead “the film broke” and Leonard Nimoy came out, bitched about the technical snafu then they showed the new film in its entirety. Harry Knowles was there and you can read his account HERE. You might want to bring a book because his review is LONG. I love what he does for the geek community in general but that dude can’t write a review without retelling his entire life. He’s kind of like a fatter, red-headed Dewey Cox that way.

I suppose if I get desperate I can travel down I-35, find one of the lucky Austinites, then tie them up in a mini storage unit  and mind meld with him to get a taste of the movie. That kind of shit happens in Austin all the time. Also weed. Weed happens in Austin all the time.

I had a really hard time writing this comic, so I thought I would throw in some extra art juice to even it out. I felt like I’d already done a vegemite joke, but I couldn’t find it in the archives. Maybe it was a comment from a while back. I was also pretty sure I’d done a “The Core” joke before but then I realized the joke was on me… because I had seen “The Core.”

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55 Comments

  1. It tastes like geriatric bullion cubes and that black stuff under the mud in ponds.

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  2. A hardcore "The Core" joke would have involved "unobtainium."

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  3. I grew up in Austin and now live in Houston. One day in H-town a friend smelled so familiar, it was like I was in Austin again. When I asked what that smell was, she said it was patchoulli. Eh, makes sense :)

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  4. What happened to Star Trek coming out near christmas?

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  5. Vegemite is more like a yeasty, salty shoe polish. Tim tam more should really be the national food. Or deep-fried dim sims.

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  6. Vegemite is more like a yeasty, salty shoe polish. Tim tams should really be the national food. Or deep-fried dim sims.

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      • Shall I send the Podcast crew a care package of Tim Tams, vegemite and Boag's?

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    • If you send it, we will try it live during a show.

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      • Great, it's 6 am and I now have a craving for Dim Sims.

        Be careful with the care package. Tim Tams might replace Bacon for Josh.

        Protip for Vegemite: it's not peanut butter, or jam. Spread it *thinly*. A little goes a long way. Have it on toast with butter, or preferably crumpets for Ultimate Win.

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    • Kangaroo should be the national food; we're the only nation that eats it's coat of arms

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  7. One time, a friend and I thought we saw Josh in a bar in Australia and spent the next four hours giggling like schoolgirls. Cubbish schoolgirls.

    Also, we don't all like Vegemite. Seriously.

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    • The cubs-giggling-like-schoolgirls thing is pretty universal.

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    • Josh has international stalkers? Interesting.

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  8. I think we're at the point where we can admit Knowles is actually the least interesting/able person on his site. Knowles has done a lot for getting respect for online reporters and the film sites in general but he has ALWAYS been a blowhard.

    I can't even read his stuff anymore it's so full of what he does.

    —I went to see Star trek last night, but first I had to poo. Then I got up and decided against a ding dong. Have I told you about how much I ;ove ding dongs…..—

    It takes him 400 words to get to the damned movie review…

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    • "Knowles has done a lot for getting respect for online reporters"

      Thats really the only cred id give him. He made hollywood realize the geek vote matters, he brought cred to online reviewers, but a writer he is not. I dont really fault him for that because he seems like a nice guy. Not every one can self edit. He needs an editor. Ive never read one of his reviews all the way through.

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  9. I like that the fact Vegemite tastes like taint encourages Joel to want more.

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    • i think it adds to the curiosity factor.

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  10. The new movie is going to be a disaster of an order that will make _Nemesis_ look like _Citizen Kane_.

    "Emergency power to the structural integrity fields for the regurgitation receptacles!"

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  11. it's a little heartbreakng to me how close (and yet so far) Austin is from here, because if ST: WoK was showing at a theater around here, i would have gone, and if they had done that stunt here instead of stinkin' Austin, then lots and lots of delighted squealing would have ensued.

    *sigh*

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    • Star Trek: WoK?
      What's WoK?

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        • KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

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          • Cccaptain….it vus Kahn…. He thought he controlled us but he did not..

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      • wok (wŏk) n. – A metal pan having a rounded bottom, used especially for frying and steaming endangered animals in Asian cooking.

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  12. Every review Ive read so far would seem to disagree with you.

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    • Well – consider that I don't think the continuity needs a "reboot" – that this is abject LAZINESS in terms of not wanting to have to "bother" with a property that's spanned decades and has a large and complex history. The same sort of attitude toward continuity and not giving a [bleep] about the core fans is a big chunk of why I feel _Nemesis_ and _Enterprise_ were not well received, to put it mildly.

      I happen to think JJ Abrams is a jerk; his remarks about Star Trek have been an ENORMOUS red flag for me leading into this. Another one is having the Enterprise built on Earth so he can get a particular "beauty shot" — that's effing idiotic. I could rant on, but I imagine by now you see my point, whether or not you agree with it.

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  13. studio decided it has a wider appeal that just geeks after they saw it and figured theyd go for a full on summer release.

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  14. I was staying with a family in Australia several years ago, and vegemite just fascinated me. Totally disgusting, yet those kids ate it like it was peanut butter.

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    • I'm equally mystified by the relationship sepos have wih peanut butter.

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  15. As an Aussie, I can tell you not all of us like it.

    Also, it's beer recycling. Vegemite is the by-product of beer making.

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  16. I think the new Star Trek is gonna rock. I'm only really a fan of ST:TNG but I appreciate the old show in a "respect your roots" kind of way. I realize this new movie is a rebirth of sorts and that it doesn't look anything like a classic episode of Star Trek, but that doesn't bother me in the least; it looks good on its own merit.

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    • I was always disappointed in the in the Next Generation movies. First Contact was awesome but the others were underwhelming. The original crew had better movies over all.

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  17. I am expecting something that is Star Trek "like". As in Vegemite is like bullion cubes.

    Vegemite is indeed like eating a bullion cube. In fact, a few recipes I've seen seem to use it in place of bullion, like in making soup stock or adding flavor to gravy.

    If you try one of the classics, Vegemite on toast, I suggest this. Put the butter on the bread, then the Vegemite, and then toast it in the oven or a toaster oven. This tastes much better in my opinion than spreading the Vegemite cold on buttered toast.

    I like it just a bit, but I can't recommend it.

    ( Try looking around the net for Paddington Bear advertising Marmite. )

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  18. Oh man…major vegemite craving now…

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  19. Bwahahahahahaaaaa, you've seen "The Core"!!!!! That is all.

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  20. "Mr. Knowles, the internet is ready for your review… Mr. Knowles?"
    "Hold on kid, Harry Knowles has to think about he ENTIRE LIFE before he writes his review."

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  21. The title gave me a nostalgia boner…

    Anyway, if you want some vegemite i can send you a few jars man, just tweet me…

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    • Wind from the East.
      Wind from the West.
      SSSMMMMOOOOOGGGGGG!

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  22. Hey! There's nothing wrong with The Core! Using a giant nuke to restart the liquid core of the earth is…is…nevermind…

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  23. yeah, vegemite's pretty tasty. Being a Kiwi I prefer marmite though… nothing beats marmite on toast… mmm

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    • Too sweet! Needs more salty goodness.

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  24. Great "The Core" reference! Loved that. In fact, I admit loving that movie…

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  25. you use "aus" in german to say where you're from (ich aus…) so maybe he was going for a pun you know like it started out in australia and austin …

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  26. I eat vegemite straight from the jar with a spoon; if I could inject it into my veins I would. The stuff is like a drug man… if I don't get a hit soon I might shoot up the streets or kick a puppy or something.

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    • Steal a car….kill a hooker you say? All because you played GTA? This demands greater research. 😀

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    • man, I find that if I wave the jar over my toast the mere scent and tiny scrapings from the lid will last me at least a year…

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  27. So I'm just assuming here but taint must taste like a combination of balls and ass…..since its right in between…

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  28. Ewwww I think I managed to gross myself out with that one…

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  29. hahaha…Bugs was always missing that turn.

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  30. You know, not all the people who were at that sneak preview were guys…

    (I found this through QC and will now proceed to wasting yet another chunk of my life reading through the entire archive. YOU ROCK.)

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    • Glad you enjoyed it. Girl Trekkie’s seem rare. Wish I knew more myself.

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  31. AUS.
    A U'S.
    Alternate Universes.
    He was giving us a hint. HE WAS TELLING US!
    ABRAAAAAAAAAAAAAMS!!

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