Cosmic Sans

Cosmic Sans

I wrote at least three different comics about “Darmok.” I am definitely making at least one of them, but I haven’t decided if I’m going to save it for later or just do it now. I also haven’t decided if I’m just going to give up...
How Many Lights Do You See?

How Many Lights Do You See?

“Chain Of Command Pt. 2″ is such a wonderful hour of television. Patrick Stewart just DESTROYS your preconceived notions about cheesy acting in Star Trek or in science fiction in general. He Shakespeares THE SHIT out of that final torture scene. Picard is...
Captain’s Prerogative

Captain’s Prerogative

HERE COMES FANEURYSM!  I’ve decided to start making a new, supplemental comic, in the vein of the old LoFi-Jinks comics, which will serve as the comic that “comic Joel” actually makes in the HEniverse. I just wrote the word “comic” so...
The Primest Of Directives

The Primest Of Directives

[actually posted on 4/25/14] Still playing catch up and still a week behind on comics. I sketched this comic on a plane and drew it in a Canadian hotel room. Convention permitting, I will be posting some more comics over this weekend. I’ve also got a pretty...
Science Officer To The Bridge

Science Officer To The Bridge

The IRL Saturn presentation was yesterday, and Kiddo did great. She presented all her research (this fact was my favorite), passed around the info about our Solar system that Bobak sent her, then she fielded questions from her classmates. One kid asked why they...
Toronto Fan Expo 2013 Fancy Sketches

Toronto Fan Expo 2013 Fancy Sketches

Soory I had a good time in Toronto, eh? I accomplished all of my goals. I attended Fan Expo and spoke to some nice northern Fancy Bastards, I ate 100% of Toronto’s meat supply at Korean Grill House (my actual favorite restaurant in all of the world), I wrote a...
Phoenix Comicon 2013 Fancy Sketches Part 2

Phoenix Comicon 2013 Fancy Sketches Part 2

Go to my store. I promise there is something there you will enjoy owning. In turn, I will enjoy owning your money. Hey hey! It’s part 2 in my 2 part series of 2 sets of Fancy Sketches from 1 Phoenix Comicon! This set indirectly stars my friend John Scalzi, who...
Into Dickness

Into Dickness

PHOENIX COMICON BOOTH LOCATION CHANGE!!! David and I will be at booth 243, NOT 1749 and NOT by the LEGOs. Come in the main entrance, hang a left and head to the back corner. Here’s a photo of David peeking over a handy map. COME SEE ME AND DAVID IN PHOENIX THIS...
Everybody Wants Prosthetic Foreheads On Their Real Heads

Everybody Wants Prosthetic Foreheads On Their Real Heads

I am very bad at seeing movies right when they come out. As my parenting has gotten stronger, my ability to drop everything at a moment’s notice and go to a 1am showing of a movie where nerds are likely to be dressed up in cloaks and brandishing lazer swords has...
Make It So / As You Wish

Make It So / As You Wish

I’ve had this idea on my “to draw” list for over a year. A bit of an unofficial Wheaton comic dare last night involving my friend Lar forced me into action. [UPDATE 04/18/13] COMMENTERS: Wesley was always looking for others, especially Picard, to...
Guest Comic By William Tallman Of Reptilis Rex

Guest Comic By William Tallman Of Reptilis Rex

I’m at Emerald City Comicon RIGHT NOW having a motherbuttshaking PARTYPARTYPARTYPARTY!!! If you are in Seattle, come to booth 1106 (the Blind Ferret Booth) and SHAKE DEM HEALTHY BUTTS!  (also buy stuff from me) In my absence you are presently being treated to a...
Seat Fillers

Seat Fillers

Forgive me, dear Fancy Twitter Bastards, if you have already read 2/3 of these jokes. I decided to borrow from my time-shifted Oscar’s live tweets from Monday night to fill in the gaps above (hence the secret double meaning pun title in which I reveal that I am...
Rad Brobot

Rad Brobot

Blind Ferret’s server got hacked, so the HE Store is down for now. Sharksplode is still fully functional. I did a two part interview with the United We Geek podcast. You can listen to part 1 right here! Adventures of the Gummi Bears was one of those 80’s...
You’ve Got Me On My Knees

You’ve Got Me On My Knees

CRUISE FUNDRAISER: 77/100 prints are sold and I only have until Dec 15th (4 days left!) to meet my goal of selling all 100. Help me get on a nerd boat and get some neat art for yourself in the process! DEC 12th at 12noon Pacific IS YOUR LAST CHANCE to order anything...
Into Dorkness

Into Dorkness

AUSTIN, TX FANCY BASTARDS: Webcomics Rampage is THIS WEEKEND! CRUISE FUNDRAISER: 66/100 prints are sold and I only have until Dec 15th (8 days left!) to meet my goal of selling all 100. Help me get on a nerd boat and get some neat art for yourself in the process! ME...
Bridge Collapse

Bridge Collapse

UPDATE: The JCCC3 signed, numbered, limited print is up for sale!   Info about and holiday shipping deadlines for various HE-type merchandise IS HERE. Short Version: If you want something ( like HijiNKS ENSUE T-Shirts (also in Ladies Sizes), Books, A Lil’ Wil Wheaton...
Calgary Expo 2012 Fancy Photo Comic Part 3

Calgary Expo 2012 Fancy Photo Comic Part 3

Calgary is a weird town. Everything is pretty nice and clean and Canadian and there is a series of above ground tubes that you can navigate most of downtown with to avoid actually being on the street, but pretty much everything closes at sundown and NOTHING is open on...
The Welcome Wagon

The Welcome Wagon

NEWT FOR PRESIDENT!!! GET AWAY FROM HER, YOU BITCH!!! There’s got to be more to it than warp drive, right? What about Mr. Clean Magic Easers? How could you consider a species for eventual admission into the United Federation of Planets if they can’t even...
A Good Day To Buy

A Good Day To Buy

“Winter Is Coming” shirts are now IN THE STORE!!! [based on this comic] Thanks to Lar, who inspired this comic via a twitter exchange a couple of weeks ago. Lar has some AMAZING prints for sale, including all 11 Doctors as totes adorbs bunnies. There is a...
Guest Comic By Sam Logan Of Sam & Fuzzy

Guest Comic By Sam Logan Of Sam & Fuzzy

“Winter Is Coming” shirts are now IN THE STORE!!! [based on this comic] NYCC Guest Week is in full effect! I am at New York Comic-Con with Blind Ferret at Booth #1821 this weekend  (10-13 to 10-16). I will trade awkward stares for confusing winks and...
Warp Factor 1080p. Engage.

Warp Factor 1080p. Engage.

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this Three Wheaton Moon shirt. You can buy it! Then you can wear it! Only two steps to total geeky happiness? Sign me up! I was super excited to hear that Star Trek: TNG was finally coming to Blu-Ray in HD. They are going back...
There’s No Basement On The Enterprise

There’s No Basement On The Enterprise

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our Wesley’s Big Adventure Shirt over at Sharksplode. There also aren’t any bathrooms. Last night Wil tweeted a bit about watching Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. It reminded me a line in his book,...
Well? Do They?

Well? Do They?

If you are waiting on your copy of HE Book 2, PLEASE READ THIS!!! Groverfield T-Shirt and MORE in the HijiNKS ENSUE STORE! CHECK IT OUT: I put a desktop version of the “You’re The Last Of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic in The Vault. A shirt is...
C2E2 2011 Fancy Sketches Part 2

C2E2 2011 Fancy Sketches Part 2

EWOK STAAAAAARRREEEEEE!!! If you preordered HE Book 2, please read the updated shipping times on THIS PAGE. Here are some more nice pieces of paper which were ruined by me at C2E2 2011. I hope you enjoy them. COMMENTERS: It’s up to you this time. I’m still...
C2E2 2011 Fancy Sketches Part 1

C2E2 2011 Fancy Sketches Part 1

EWOK STAAAAAARRREEEEEE!!! If you preordered HE Book 2, please read the updated shipping times on THIS PAGE. I had an amazing time in Chicago. Special thanks to my boothmates Randy, David and Danielle. By our powers combined, we were… able to afford the booth....
Guest Comic By Tom Brazelton Of “Theater Hopper”

Guest Comic By Tom Brazelton Of “Theater Hopper”

C2E2 IN CHICAGO IS THIS WEEKEND!!! I will be there with Randy [Something*Positive], Danielle [Girls With Slingshots] and David [Shortpacked & Dumbing Of Age]! Read more about it HERE. TEAM EDWARD [James Olmos] THERE IS A NEW HE PODCAST!!! EPISODE 81 – DICK...
Emerald City Comicon Fancy Sketches Part 1

Emerald City Comicon Fancy Sketches Part 1

The only geek greeting you’ll ever need! The Sci-Five! Get up on that Sci-Five shirt business! I must have said this 100 times over the course of the last weekend but Emerald City Comicon is THE BEST show of the year. In terms of what? Sales, fan interaction,...
Through You, We Feel As Giants, Once Again.

Through You, We Feel As Giants, Once Again.

AND MY AXE! MEEEEDLY MEEEEEDLY SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!! ALL NEW REDESIGNED “AND MY AXE” SHIRTS ARE IN THE STORE! Last chance for Ladies Heather Grey “And My Axe” shirts! My home internet was down from Wednesday night until late Thursday afternoon....
Assisted Mobility

Assisted Mobility

Sharktopus Vs. DinoVampire Vs. CyberYeti! The Science Fiction TV-Movie Title Generator Shirt!!! Here’s some reference material in case this comic is causing you to have a confusion stroke. If it isn’t then we can probably be best friends. As I delve deeper...
Failed Enterprises

Failed Enterprises

HEY LOOK AT THIS: This is your LAST WEEK to order an Ultimate Fancy Edition of Book 2 AND get your name in the book. Files go to the printer on January 15th. After that you will still be able to order a UFE but you will NOT be listed in the book on the Fancy Bastard...
The Measure Of A Fan

The Measure Of A Fan

I know this is super inside-baseball-pants for you non-Star Trek nerds, but I just got back from a two day stint at a Star Trek convention so please cut me some slack. Please feel free to cut a bit more slack (as long as slack is already being cut) for the Lo-FijiNKS...
The Oxford English Urban Dictionary

The Oxford English Urban Dictionary

Dallas Animefest is this Weekend! Come see me, Shortpacked and Two Lumps (plus a bunch of cat-girls and such) all Labor Day Weekend. We will be doing a Webcomic’s panel every day. It’s Fri Sept 3rd – Mon Sept 6th, 2010 at the Hyatt Regency Dallas at...
Chief Engineer 57

Chief Engineer 57

REVEALED: Star Trek: Next Gen cast almost included Wesley Snipes THIS WEEKEND IS BALTIMORE COMIC CON!!! I will be in the Artist Alley at table A164 with Fancy Bastard Alex (Mechamenchi) at my side. Baltimore FB meetup will be Saturday night August 28th around 7:30 or...
Gadget Envy

Gadget Envy

Unfortunately Starfleet won’t offer Geordi an upgrade before Stardate 64638.1. He’s also under contract for that visor. They’ve been able to grow new eyeballs in a replicator for years now but he doesn’t want to pay the early termination fee....
Sweet On Wheat-on

Sweet On Wheat-on

Getting a little too pluggy for your tastes? Well, the plugs are paying for my table and hotel at Comicpalooza so how about roll with it just this once and, if you are in the area, come out and see what promises to be a very cool comic/pop culture show. Meeting Wil...
A Recurring Theme

A Recurring Theme

2 Upcoming Appearances!!! Staple! THIS WEEKEND!!! March 6 @ The Monarch Event Center in Austin, TX MORE INFO Emerald City Comic-Con March 13-14 @ The Washington State Convention Center in Seattle, WA MORE INFO If there’s one thing that makes Ron D. Moore’s...
Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One

Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One

I’ll be at Dallas Comic Con this weekend. Come say hi! I wrote this comic after viewing the Star Trek TNG episode “The Icarus Factor.” In it, Wesley Crusher throws Worf a surprise Klingon birthday party on the Holodeck, complete with a Painstick...
Solid Gone

Solid Gone

SHIPPING UPDATE!!! Any (non-Topatoco) shirts you order from the HE Store now will absolutely not arrive by Dec. 24th. I just want to be clear about that. The goal is to have every US shirt ordered by Dec 4th arrive by Dec. 24th. That’s what the shipping deadline...
There Are FOUR Jack-O’-Lanterns!

There Are FOUR Jack-O’-Lanterns!

[reddit-me]That look in your eyes says “WTFCOMIC?” but that look in YOUR EYES screams “SERIOUSLYWTFCOMIC?!” Your reaction is understandable. This Halloween comic is really just a love letter from me to other hardcore Star Trek: TNG fans. I...
Apples And Roddenberries

Apples And Roddenberries

Hey, look! Here’s a comic about buying a computer that used to belong to the guy that created Star Trek. I’m too tired to make funny words to go with it, but it will probably be a two-parter so check back Friday for the conclusion [unless I decide to do...
Pieces Of Flare

Pieces Of Flare

Seriously, J.J.? I mean, that WAS the best movie I’ve seen since “The Dark Knight,” but c’mon dude. I was squinty eyed through the whole thing. I won’t even bother gushing about “Star Trek” here since I already did that for 30...
A Blatant Disregard For Canon

A Blatant Disregard For Canon

I’d like to clarify that I am not “humping” the screen, as it were. I’m merely mashing my junk up against it in appreciation. As of this post I haven’t seen J.J. Abram’s “Star Trek” yet. It was actually occasional HE...
A Left Turn At Albuquerque

A Left Turn At Albuquerque

J.J. Abrams must have some sort of geographical boner for places that start with “AUS,” because he debuted “Star Trek” in AUStralia a month before it’s US release (complete with a Wonkaesque Golden Ticket contest) and held a sneak preview...
Where No Man Has Gotten Freaky Before

Where No Man Has Gotten Freaky Before

Future historians debate whether the T in James T. Kirk stood for Tiberius or Tap Dat Ass. I like to think that in a future utopia the latter would be true. The trailer has me setting phasers to enthusiastic. I hope this movie accomplishes only two things. 1) It...
Computer, Activate the EHB

Computer, Activate the EHB

I’m almost always oblivious to the fact that everyone didn’t grow up as engrossed in Star Trek as I did. I have to stop myself from making obscure TNG, Voyager and DS:9 references dozens of times a day. “Oh man! You just got owned! Chaka, when the...
Joel And Sleepy Eli Strike Back

Joel And Sleepy Eli Strike Back

Kevin Smith has not already seen J.J. Abram’s “Star Trek.” Except that he totally has. But he hasn’t. And whatever he hasn’t seen, he can’t talk about. What can’t he talk about? He’s not at liberty to say. Let’s...
He’s wed, Jim.

He’s wed, Jim.

3 seconds after the last panel, a lizard man comes running down the isle. Guess who he attacks first. George Takei is taking advantage of the recent lift of the ban on gay marriage in California to wed his long time first officer, Brad Altman. Let’s hope Brad...

“The Holodeck is for Porn” T-Shirt

Today’s comic inspired me to make a new shirt. Pick one up in the store if you like.  If you frequent other SciFi blogs or forums, feel free to link them to this post or to the store. Tags: scifi, shirts, star trek, store, the holodeck is for...
Intelligent Political Discourse

Intelligent Political Discourse

This is probably as close as I get to a political cartoon. Before you point out that you don’t play tridimensional chess with 3 people (though you should, I mean there are three dimensions), and that all the chess pieces are in the wrong places and don’t...