Tumbling Out Of The Rabbit’s Hole

WE FREAKING DID IT! All 150 Ultimate Fancy Editions of Book 2 have been sold. The presale is officially a success. Everyone that preordered a UFE or any other flavor of the book have my utmost gratitude. The order has been placed with the printer and the files will be turned in to them on Monday morning. This means two things: 1) If all goes according to plan the books with debut with me at Emerald City ComicCon in Seattle, WA. 2) My wife and I will be spending the next 48 hours hold up in my office, furiously finishing the book. There may not be a comic on Monday. I say this because, based on the last book, she and I probably won’t actually be sleeping between now and then.

The Team Edward James Olmos Shirt at TopatocoThe actual preorder doesn’t end until the books arrive and start shipping, so you can still pick up a regular or artist edition.

Can’t do a real post today since I have witty/sleepy book commentary to write. So I will let you COMMENTERS take over: Keanu says we’re getting a Matrix 4 and 5. You and I both know this is a terrible idea, but for the sake of whatever feel free to play Devil’s Advocate and tell how this could be a good thing for geeks. The realists among you can go into detail as to why these films should never happen. Those of you that don’t give a shit either way, how about coming up with the plot for the films? I assume, to get back in our good graces, they’ll be call the pair The Matrix: Restitution and The Matrix:┬áReconciliation. Oh crapontoast, I just realized they’re going to call the next one The Matrix: Resurrection. They have to. Damnit.

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  1. In Matrix: Reconstituted, we find out that Neo was actually in a simulation within the matrix 4.5

    What he saw as "the code" was actually a buffer program designed to slow the machine data down to a speed acceptable to the human brain.

    In Matrix: Reboot, we find Neo again trying to make his way out of the matrix, only to find that neo is actually in a screen, and sitting outside are two brothers cackling and counting their money.

  2. I for one am sad it's a hoax. I LOVED all three movies for all of their "undercurrent of weird philosophy and unreal violence." I mean, I still feel like I live in a parallel universe where I am the only person who liked them!

    Anyway, any new canvas for The Matrix thing to be played out on again, I'm up for it! Maybe this will stir up interest for a REAL sequel!

    • Two days ago, after reading the Twin Peaks synopsis on Wikipedia (and then TV Tropes), I realized that the Matrix sequels were postmodern storytelling with modernist themes, whereas The Matrix was a modernist story in postmodern clothing. Neo's Hero's Journey was presented without ontological mystery, after the battery speech, but when he derailed the Architect's metaprogram, all bets were off.

      The Wachowskis were ahead of their time with a story that rivals Lost, BSG, Cloverfield, and The Event for weirdness and mindscrews. Heck, Cloverfield was ahead of its time! Audiences are becoming more accepting of postmodern storytelling, but slowly.

    • No, you aren't alone. I loved them all too. There were only a few points I thought could be taken out. The only one I can think of at the moment (guess I have to watch them all again!) is the sex scene in the second. It was not really that important.

  3. In the Matrix IV mankind tries to rebuild society, expanding into the tunnels, and they end up building robots with an interconnected artificial intelligence to scrub clean the sky. In the Matrix V the new robots rebel and enslave mankind to use as sources of energy (since they got bored cleaning sky).

    The best part is that it would leave an opening for Matrix VI, where "The One" is born who can fight the robots from within the metaverse that the robots built to keep their human slaves occupied.

  4. Matrix: Reincarnation follows Neo has he is born back into the Matrix as the next One, since the machines can’t be troubled to write a completely new copy of the One. They certainly couldn’t use an actual human, because he/she/it would likely discover that the “Real” is just a really crappy artificial world used as an alternate for those who don’t like the sparklehappyfuntime that is the Primary Matrix.

    Matrix: Retardation continues to follow the One, who is trapped in an infant with all of his/her/its memories and a keeper program that explains all the additional fucked up philosophical shit that the Wach-jobs couldn’t vomit into the second and third films. By the end of the film, One.6.2 has mentally degraded and forgotten everything about the previous movies and his/her/itself. Closing scene is Grandma Oracle handing a cookie to the One Toddler and saying, “I guarantee, by the time you’re done eating it, you’ll forget all about this God-forsaken series of cinematic seizures.”

  5. Well, see, the sequels are obviously needed to complete the, er, subtle Christ-figure allegory they had going. Keanu Reeves already died for our sins, and now he needs to be resurrected and ascend to Matrix Heaven where he will reign in everlasting glory next to some program who is inexplicably an old guy in white robes with a big beard.

    Just to make sure we get the point, the fifth installment will be called Matrix: Second Coming.

  6. Even though it's a hoax, if they were to make two new movies, why not go all J.J. Abrams on them? Like he did with Star Trek. Same starting story, (The Matrix), but in a different, less sucky direction. Call it Matrix: Retooled.

  7. OR… they could take it in the direction of the Animatrix. I doubt that the Watchowski's lack clout to make it happen. 'spose it just depends on what they've got rattling around in those crazy heads of theirs.

  8. From what I've dug up, the Wachowski sex change is a myth, too; a PA from one of their movies said that the call sheet says "Andy and Larry", and that they're both still dudes.

  9. Keanu was also in Devil’s Advocate ­čśÇ Maybe they should make a sequel to that movie. Devil's Accountant? I'd rather see that.

  10. Matrix: Robots is a parallel history where the machines defeated humanity before they could even fight back. Due to the easy win, the robots haven't had to make many changes to their original forms and many of which still appear man-made and possess their original functions, like dishwashers, fire hydrants, and . . . whatever the heck Robin Williams' character was supposed to be with that hand crank sticking out of his head.

  11. Matrix 4: Matrix In Da' Hood tells the tale of a group of teen humans in the Matrix that must win a break dancing competition in order to free their minds. Warwick Davis stars as the mischevious yet lovable Boombox.

    Matrix 5: Turn Up the Funk will be a Broadway musical with elaborately choreographed wire-fu-ballet. It will claim the lives of 17 cast members.

    • "Matrix 4: I'm Gonna Delete U, Sucka" tells the story of a group of mutil-racial ravers who run afoul of robots who accidentially uploaded code from New Crackton, and how they beat the odds to save the day for all their raver friends. Guest starring the two "ethinc" Autobots from the last Michael Bay Transformers movie.

      "Matrix 5: It Done Been Brought" tells the coming-of-age story of a group of high school age humans who just want to win the cheer competition, and how they overcome the odds against the championship robot cheer team. Some people will laugh, some will cry, some will be used to power the 40-story high Omega Pyramid, and everyone will learn to be friends in the end.

  12. Matrix 4, AKA Matrix Appropriation where in the machines build a time machine and send back an agent to kill Neo before he is even born.

    Matrix 5, Neo and his best friend from high school form a band that saves the future.

    • Funny, I extrapolated the Terminator series out to the human faction scorching the sky to deprive Skynet of its energy source.

  13. I checked out of the Matrix franchise when the second one came out and could not survive as a stand-alone movie. (like the first one could)

    Matrix 4: ReTeded – Yep, that's right. Ted is a verb now. Keanu Reeves stops trying to play Neo or Jesus and just defaults to his standard "Ted" role.
    Matrix 5: Agent Smith, Back in Action: Do what you want with this one. Either we go back in time to when there was only 1, really awesome Agent Smith, or we follow 100 Agent Smiths going about their day. Or perhaps all the Agent Smiths have to travel to the Elf Heaven-place. whatever.

  14. It could easily work. J.J. Abrams writes the movie. Eric Bana plays a villain that comes back in Matrix-Time for revenge or something or other. And he completely wipes the 2nd and 3rd movie with his Giant Canon Eraser™.

    The second half of the 4th movie is pretty cool. The 5th movie is awesome.

    Unfortunately, someone decides to give M. Night Shyamalan yet another chance and the 6th movie is horrible.

    • No…in a shocking twist, M. Night makes the 6th Matrix movie (The Sixth Matrix Sense), and it's AWESOME beyond belief.

      Then he makes the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th, and they all are stinkers. Direct to VHS, every one.

  15. do like the fast and furious 4, drom the ‘the’ just call it ‘Matrix’ and the heroes can search for neo’s ‘soul’ or digital copy in the VR would like looking for his body or some sort of donnor body the the real world. Be cause neo is a digital soul will he be on the side of the machines or the humans? will his rebirth shatter or enforce the fragile peace that currently exists? will there be a sex rave?

  16. Is this abuse aimed at the originals or at the hollywood tendency to revive story lines that should have been marked "we belong dead" long ago?

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