Tumbling Out Of The Rabbit’s Hole


WE FREAKING DID IT! All 150 Ultimate Fancy Editions of Book 2 have been sold. The presale is officially a success. Everyone that preordered a UFE or any other flavor of the book have my utmost gratitude. The order has been placed with the printer and the files will be turned in to them on Monday morning. This means two things: 1) If all goes according to plan the books with debut with me at Emerald City ComicCon in Seattle, WA. 2) My wife and I will be spending the next 48 hours hold up in my office, furiously finishing the book. There may not be a comic on Monday. I say this because, based on the last book, she and I probably won’t actually be sleeping between now and then.

The Team Edward James Olmos Shirt at TopatocoThe actual preorder doesn’t end until the books arrive and start shipping, so you can still pick up a regular or artist edition.

Can’t do a real post today since I have witty/sleepy book commentary to write. So I will let you COMMENTERS take over: Keanu says we’re getting a Matrix 4 and 5. You and I both know this is a terrible idea, but for the sake of whatever feel free to play Devil’s Advocate and tell how this could be a good thing for geeks. The realists among you can go into detail as to why these films should never happen. Those of you that don’t give a shit either way, how about coming up with the plot for the films? I assume, to get back in our good graces, they’ll be call the pair The Matrix: Restitution and The Matrix:¬†Reconciliation. Oh crapontoast, I just realized they’re going to call the next one The Matrix: Resurrection. They have to. Damnit.


He’s a Demon on Wheels


Literally. This movie looks like if Lucifer impregnated Las Vegas.

I have no real intention of seeing it. Regardless of sexual deviance, or bent genders, the Wachowski’s are clearly off their collective gourd. The first Matrix was a fluke. It was nearly (if not totally) perfect SciFi in all respects. Since then they’ve… faltered. I don’t count “V” because it wasn’t really their film, any more than “From Dusk Till Dawn” was a Tarantino film.¬† Somehow they eeked out a good screenplay for that movie, but praise be to Robot-Jesus they didn’t direct it. Otherwise V would have been played by a neon digital Keanu and it would have taken place in am underground rave-cave.

I can imagine the Wachowski’s directing style. One is screaming, “LESS ACTING! MORE EFFECTS!!!” while the other is trying on stilletos and taintless chaps.

I watched the Speed Racer cartoons on Mtv when I was in middle school. I always wondered what Speed was actually hoping to achieve. He just seemed to race, and race and race with no real goal in sight. He often said he had to be “the best” but that’s about as vague and “gotta’ catch em all. ” I’m sure he had a complex or two dozen. Pops named the kid “Speed.” That limited his career choices to race car driver or meth addict. I gathered from the show, he was both.

I just realized that the title sequence from the cartoon actually had animated “bullet time” when Speed jumps out of the Mach V. Weird.


The Architect’s Dilemma


I’ve spent most of the last week rebuilding the site using the new design that my friend Mikey created. I think he did a fantastic job and the site looks 100 times better for it. I am still doing upgrades and tweaks here and there, so if you see anything weird let me know.

The comic pretty well illustrates what my week was like. I COMPLETELY finished the site before digging a Windows PC out of the closet so I could check it on IE 6 and 7. As soon as it came up in the browser window, it asplode. This might only be funny/sad to web designers and CSS junkies, but it’s a heart break that we all share. Cross browser compatibility is the bain of many an existence.

So…uhh… check out that banner… it doesn’t so much say “Update’s Monday and Thursday” as it says “Mon – Wed – Fri.” No, this is not new slang that I learned on the mean streets. This actually means that I’m going to be (attempting to) update the site with 3 comics a week.

How is this possible? Where did I get the sudden influx of free time? I lost my job! My day job, that is. Yes, I was laid off a week ago. So about all the big plans I’ve been hinting at?

Here’s the short version:

I am giving myself 4-6 months to try and make a living as a cartoonist through this website (or at least carve out a path towards that goal). I am going to put my all into this site and NOT look for another day job. At the end of 4-6 months I’m going to evaluate the progress and decide whether or not to proceed as a full time cartoonist, or quietly slink back into the workforce.

I say this is the short version because this is NOT the “Manifesto” I’ve been promising. That is coming this week. I want you to know why I am doing this and what this site, and you readers mean to me. I want to be very open and transparent about the whole situation and the “experiment” that I will be running.

I also need your help. Each and every one of you. If you are interested in helping… in making this lifelong dream a reality, then stay tuned. Instructions will follow. Expect something new on the site every day this week. Here’s a bit of what I have planned:

  • Continued site overhauling and graphic improvements
  • Rewriting the sections of the site to give more and better information about myself, the comic, the process etc
  • A video blog – I am going to document my progress through out the experiment on YouTube
  • 3 COMICS A WEEK! – Come back Wednesday for sure to see if I can do it!
  • More frequent blog posts

As always I want your feedback. You can either post your thoughts and feedback in the comments now or wait for the more detailed version of the announcement.

I want to add that the 11 months I’ve spent on HijiNKS Ensue have been the most fulfilling and meaningful work I’ve ever done. You readers are 100% responsible for that. Even if it all ended today I would be eternally grateful to you for this happiness.

Thank you,

Joel Watson


Chicken in a bread pan picken’ out dough


Josh had, what I like to call, a moment of clarity when I told him that “Devil Went Down to Georgia was the King Koopa of Guitar Hero 3. A wave of calm came over him. He shed a single, joyful tear and he said softly “I know now what I have to do. I know what you have been preparing me for.” He was talking to his 360. It was like years of training and suffering were about to pay off.

I guess I get it. I suppose if you spent all of your time masturbating and them someone told you there was going to be this big masturbating contest and only the best masturbators could compete you would be pretty happy. Ya’ know, because you’ve nearly ruined your penis with all the masturbating but you’ve gotten really good at it and you want a chance to show the world. Actually, Josh should just sign up for that.


Just to be clear, Josh does actually put his penis down from time to time in order to fondle a different instrument. He apparently does so which such prowess that he’s wasted his life away right into the top 1% of Guitar Hero 2 360 players world wide.


Congratulate or pity him. It’s all the same.


Project Cloverfield: Top Secret Bath Gel?


J.J. Abrams has been quite geek-prolific these last few years. I can almost forgive him for Felicity. I remember when I told Josh “Cloverfield” might be a Cthulhu movie. He shit out his soul right then and there. He has a plush version of the “Great Old One” on his desk.

Zachary Quinto being cast as Spock is an interesting and appropriate choice. Just look at the logic in those eyebrows!

In what may be his worst lapse in judgement (or anyone else’s for that matter), internets have it that J.J. wants to put Tom “Fear me for I am Galactic Space Lord Xenu!” Cruise in the new Trek as Captain Christopher Pike. People keep trying to find new and exhilarating ways to make me hate Star Trek. I hope they hobble that alien worshiping shit bag with a tire iron and stuff him in that beeping iron lung/washing machine from The Cage.

For what it’s worth, I think Wesley would turn out to be a Sith. He’s got daddy issues. If any Hollywood-types are interested, I am willing to sell the rights to “Geek-Splosion” and the geek-quel, “Geek-splosion II: Xena and the Highlander Race Light Cycles with Tron and the Goonies, and at least one of the Corey’s…..Seaquest, War Games, Last Starfighter.” Let me rifle through a box of old VHS in the garage and we can work out a deal for episodes 3 through 6 too.

Bastian, say my name! Yeahhh. Say it, bitch. Momma like. Who’s your empress?”