The Möbius Explosion

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our Wesley’s Big Adventure Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Funny Geeky T-Shirt Star Trek Parody shirt - Wesleys Big Adventure T-Shirt-Wil Wheaton-Wesley Crusher-Sharksplode-I'm A Loner Data A Rebel

CONVENTION NEWS: Connecticon is almost right now!!!. Come see me and David and Ryan and Lar and the Explosm quadruplets and much many mores!

HijiNKS ENSUE Joel Watson at Connecticon 2011

[I am contemplating whether I want to write a post about Transformers: Dance With The Devil In The Pale Moonlight, or just tie Josh’s dick to a railroad track for making me sit through it. If you refresh this page later and see a post, you will know my decision.]

STORE NEWS: The HijiNKS ENSUE Store is closed for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] In the meantime you can still get shirts from Sharksplode and HE Book 2 from this very site.

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    • Ugh I know that pain. A few years ago I was walking out of the playfield after I got hit when I apparently startled someone on the opposite team who then proceeded to spin around and unload on me with his several thousand dollar full auto paintball gun. My whole left side was one giant welt.

        • Yeah he was one of those d-bags who took the game way too seriously. After the match he came up to me and half-heartedly apologized while at the same time intimating that it was my fault for not holding my barrel plug up high enough. That kinda made me see red, there was some yelling then I peppered him with a dozen or so shots from ten feet away before the guys that ran the field tackled and permabanned me. Totally worth it.

    • Think it was actually 2.5 hours or so…long enough for my bladder to fill up w/o me having anything to drink.

      • You know, I ended up finding a theater that has $4 matinees, so I went to it just so I could review it into the ground. I ended up going to the bathroom three times during the movie, it's that freaking long. I actually missed the Spock line.

  1. My daughter was so excited to see it, but she was disappointed with it. If even an 8 year old is not satisfied with bright colors and loud noises as a distraction from the lack of story, then adults would be downright bored to death. (and I was)

  2. Minor SPOILERS! But I try to keep it generalized.

    Well after spending over 35.00 (I got suckered into that super duper AVX which in my humble opinion is SO not worth it.) My main complaint is Bay honestly and truly doesn't know how to handle humor. and that even though they went all completely destroy Chicago, I felt that the climax of Fallen was better done.

    simply put there is a threat against the entire world in this movie, so why not just nuke Chicago? It's cold, but tactically understandable. also they are a few more decepticons than usual in the final battle and somehow this time they can take out the military might of America?

    honestly in Fallen you got to see how the American Military rolled out everything from the marine corps, airforce and army but in this we follow a handful of special forces soldiers, no tanks, airplanes, nothing. It felt too small. I mean you get alot of money shots of a destroyed Chicago, but when you get into the ground battle you see a city block at most of destruction.

    And also the reason why the autobots stood aside and let the decepticons take out chicago kinda makes em seem like assholes.

    I say matinee this if you gotta see it.

    • I agree with matinee…apparently tho the movie is making mega gold pressed latium on 3D sales, which is giving movie execs/studio 3D boner-thons over the weekend.

      And, while we can talk about all the plot holes, I don't care how much product placement rebates or straight up money you give Bay: he's *realistically* not going to be able to show an urban hellscape that the cast can move around in to the degree that Chicago was supposed to be destroyed…he probably could've done it in Detroit, Cleveland, Youngstown, or Pittsburgh for less and gotten more urban decay.

  3. I laughed pretty hard at the scroll over text, I'm not going to lie, that got me more than the comic, which, however, was still fun. I asked Joel via twitter if it was terrible, like Demolition Man, Judge Dredd or Daylight and he said Judge Dread… that makes me very sad. Seriously… why did a clone look like someone else entirely? He even had different color hair and a face without the bells paulsy.

    • I liked the way Joel drew the paintball fight…the perspective of the gunshot was neat, and yes I saw T3: Dark Side of Michael Bay's Bank Account so I'm a moron for doing that. At leas it was a matinee showing.

      Next time you put a supermodel in a movie (yes, I know I'm gay but I'm still going to say it), at least give her more smudgy makeup that makes it look like she really did run through Urban Brawl 2011 in high heels, as opposed to keeping her hair/makeup perfect.

  4. It wasn't even good on a "shut your brain off and trance out on flashing colors and loud noises" level. Also it was soooo long. When someone nods off in the middle of one of YOUR movies Mr Bay, that movie is too fucking long! Granted I went to a late showing but still.

    • I think it was so long because you had this overly complex retro history of the Cold War/space race that you had to bring the viewer up to speed on, just so you could spend an hour destroying Chicago…oh and having Leonard Nimoy mutilate one of his most iconic lines from STII:TWOK for the sake of this movie.

      At least you know Nimoy can deliver the dialogue well, whether it's the '86 Transformers movie, or this one.

  5. Alan Tudyk plays a minor character and is amazing for every second of it. The Firefly Pact means you are now obligated to give this a chance.

  6. The only way I'd see this (now they've slayed the Dinobot that is Megan Fox) if Shia and Duhamel's characters got together and transformed into boyfriends 🙂

  7. Let's see, I'll say they're using Spyder TL-R's and wearing JT Xfire masks. And why are you using 10 round super-tubes to refill a 200 round hopper? Get yourself some pods, man!

    Sorry, 12 years in the paintball business does things to a man.

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