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The Möbius Explosion

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Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our Wesley’s Big Adventure Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Funny Geeky T-Shirt Star Trek Parody shirt - Wesleys Big Adventure T-Shirt-Wil Wheaton-Wesley Crusher-Sharksplode-I'm A Loner Data A Rebel

CONVENTION NEWS: Connecticon is almost right now!!!. Come see me and David and Ryan and Lar and the Explosm quadruplets and much many mores!

HijiNKS ENSUE Joel Watson at Connecticon 2011

[I am contemplating whether I want to write a post about Transformers: Dance With The Devil In The Pale Moonlight, or just tie Josh’s dick to a railroad track for making me sit through it. If you refresh this page later and see a post, you will know my decision.]

STORE NEWS: The HijiNKS ENSUE Store is closed for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] In the meantime you can still get shirts from Sharksplode and HE Book 2 from this very site.

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The Second Time Around

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TORONTO: I AM COMING FOR YOU! TCAF is this weekend!
I will be at table 222 (with Topatoco) on the 2nd floor Saturday 5/7 and Sunday 5/8. I will have books 1 and 2 (and I will draw dumb things in them for you), stickers, buttons, prints (probably a “The Doctor Is In” print), and maybe a couple of shirts.

The Doctor Is In T-Shirt

“The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic is here!

Sharksplode.com - Geeky Nerdy T-Shirts, Funny Tee Shirts
I hope you enjoy this very unusual thing my brain (and subsequently my body) did in the wee hours of the night. I started trying to write a comic about how Megan Fox was ejected from Transformers 3: The Wall (presumably for NOT buffing Michael Bay’s Ferrari with her own buttocks slathered in Professor Explosionheimer’s Patented Gluteus Auto-Balm), but I couldn’t see to… care? Yeah, that’s the thing I wan’t able to do.

As it turned out I cared a lot more about 90’s family sitcom character-inconsistencies than the fate of Ms. Fox. I guess I’m really growing up. Speaking of, why did Uncle Jessie change his last name from Cochran to Katsopolis. If he was dodging the INS, that seems like the opposite way to go.

COMMENTERS: If you saw the trailer for Transformers: Tales From The Darkside, feel free to comment on it or offer an alternate subtitle for it, as we once did with the Spider-Man musical. After seeing last week’s Doctor Who, I have a feeling The Doctor had something to do with that spaceship crashing on the moon. You can also remind us of your most nagging sitcom weirdnesses if you like.

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Unwavering Devotion

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Josh doesn’t actually know what the character on his posterior really means, but if he shows it at the China Dragon Palace he gets a half priced buffet on Tuesdays. Which begs the question, why is he pulling his ass out in Chinese restaurants?

QUICK NEWS!

Godspeed, You Fancy Bastard T-Shirt

Tudykery,” not to be confused with the similarly named, holiday time bird carcass nesting doll, is the quality by which Alan Tudyk makes things better (or at least tolerable) simply by being a part of them. This “human bacon bits” quality is the only reason I was able to get through the first few episodes of V and convince myself it wasn’t horrifically boring. Then they killed him off and the veil of mediocrity was lifted. How to do you make an alien lizard people invasion boring?

Still, there is the issue of “The Browncoat Contract,” by which I mean the obligation of the Firefly/Serenity faithful to give every show or movie featuring one of our bright, shiny stars a more than fair chance. It was this obligation that made me watch Nathan Fillion’s Drive. All 4 episodes of it. And Adam Baldwin‘s short lived The Inside. This same obligation caused many of you to tune in for Jewel Staite in SyFy’s Mothman. My condolences. The kind of made-for-TV scifi garbage that would usually require you to drink a gas can full of ether and Yoohoo to sit through must be given a free pass because the cute space mechanic is the one running from the CG monster that looks like it was created with a Speak’n Spell hooked up to a George Foreman grill.

Luckily for us, there is an escape clause. Once the Firefly veteran’s new show takes off, you are no longer under contract. For instance, both Chuck and Castle are successful shows. My super bonus TV watching ability’s are not required to save them from cancelation since “the normals” are watching it too.

The worst part about the Contract is that it forces me to watch shows that I already know are going to be awful  just so I can feel like I am doing my part to support the actors. Have you seen the promos for Summer Glau’s new show The Cape? It’s about a disgraced cop that decides to be Batman. Sounds cool, right? Well, he spends most of his time hanging out with carnies and magicians, so… just watch the promos. Holy lowered expectations, Cape Man!