Got GoT?

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our Wesley’s Big Adventure Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Funny Geeky T-Shirt Star Trek Parody shirt - Wesleys Big Adventure T-Shirt-Wil Wheaton-Wesley Crusher-Sharksplode-I'm A Loner Data A Rebel

My Friend Lar saw this shirt and drew THIS. It’s amazingly wonderful.

Anybody hear about this Game Of Thrones show? No? I guess it sort of flew under the radar, because people haven’t been talking about it on the Internet non-stop for months and months or anything.

I had been purposefully ignoring the glowing reviews of Game Of Thrones because I didn’t have HBO and I didn’t want to bother trying to acquire the show through other means. As I get older I look at every Torrent and ask myself, “Is this hour of entertainment going to be the one that costs me a $35,000 settlement?” I am old.

When I noticed an HBO free preview weekend on my HD Fiber TVmawhosits I hoped I might luck into a GoT marathon that I could record for later viewing at my leisure. Alas, there was no such marathon, but the entire series was available via On Demand. I had a very important decision to make. The free preview only lasted another 26 hours, and there were 10 one hour episodes to devour. In order to consume a media-meal this large I would have to forsake all other responsibilities. Sleep, work, my family, all liabilities that were keeping me from being caught up on the new thing all the Internet kids are Internetting about. “Eff it! I’m going for it!” And for it go I did… go.

I was surprised how little the show resembled Lord Of the Rings in tone. LoTR is very grand. The scope of the story, the settings and the characters are equally vast. GoT is almost the opposite. Instead of an epic struggle against ultimate evil for the fate of the world, GoT focusses on about 40 characters internal struggle to “get theirs.” The story masquerades as grand because there are kings and castles and knights and wars and talk of dragons, but it is actually very small and very human. It’s a tale of selfishness and petty jealously. The only great evil resides in the schemes and machinations of nearly every characters in the show. They’re all just terrible people (except for most of the Starks).

One thing I find confusing about the series (and the books too, I suppose) is the fact that [SPOILERS] nearly everyone dies. Like everyone. Just as you are saying to yourself, ” Oh man, if that guy gets to do the thing he wants to do, it’s totally going to fuck up the things those other guys want to do,” he dies. Then the other guys die. Major plot threads just build and fizzle due to character death. I understand this is Martin’s thing and all, but it’s… jarring? [/SPOILERS] Regardless I really enjoyed the series and look forward to season two. I might even sign up for HBO for a few months just to watch it in real time. Though I admit, seeing 5 eps back to back was SO much more satisfying than waiting week to week. Also, Peter Dinklage fucking rules.

Anyway, here are some GoT greeting cards slogans I made up on Twitter:

“You put the IMP in PIMP.”

“Congrats Graduate! Once you take The Black, you never go back… to having sex.”

“Happy Fathuncle’s Day!”

“You’re Hodorable!”

STORE NEWS: The HijiNKS ENSUE Store is closed for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] In the meantime you can still get shirts from Sharksplode and HE Book 2 from this very site.

MUSIC!: My friend Tom Brislin has started a Kickstarter to raise money to record his first solo album. Fans of the HE Podcast will know his music from… the HE Podcast. Tom is a fantastic song writer, a virtuoso piano player and one of my favorite creative people on the planet. Please back his project so that I may hear the wonderful musics that are currently stuck in his brain.

COMMENTERS: Feel free to post your SPOILER FREE thoughts on Game Of Thrones or make up your own G0T greeting card slogans.

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  1. who doesn't want to smash Joffreys face in? I wish for all kinds of horrific things to happen to that snot. Hell I want a certain headless somebody to come back from the dead and smash his face in and cause all kinds of horrific pain to that punk.

  2. I 100% understand why they didn't go with the name of the White Walkers in the books for this series, but sometimes wish they kept it. For those not in the know (no spoiler here) they were called The Others – I guess enunciating the capital would get pretty hammy after a little while. The White Walkers honestly don't sound like bad guys at all, whereas The Others was suitably vague and menacing.

  3. Imp in Pimp needs to be a shirt.


    /gets head chopped off
    /gets reanimated

    I've come back from the dead to apologize. I'm not in charge of anything. Sorry.

    /sets self on fire/

  4. Hehe, glad you got to load up on it while you had the chance! It was a great run, but you said you only got ten episodes. I think that there were 12 in all, but I could be wrong there. There were some subtle differences from the book, sure … but, any rate, I think the whole thing came out well. Besides, anything that gives Sean Bean more work is a good'un in my book.

  5. I feel like this is the same thing that happened with Wheel of Time. At least we have notes for the final books, but it's infuriating on how long it's taken and the thought of Martin not finishing this series makes me want to punch him. Except then that also would not make him finish the series

  6. I've read all the books thus far, but am waiting till i get the serries all in one peice either on DVD or netflix. Some of the clips I have seen though make me happy inside. As does you put the "imp in pimp" I second the t-shirtening of that one.

    'Hey there blondie, do you have a little Lanister in you? ……… Do you want to?"

  7. ‎"Congratulations on your upcoming royal pardon! Hope this card finds you well!"

    ‎"Wish you were here. No, seriously. -From your friends at The Wall"

    ‎"Condolensces on the recent loss of your balls. We'll never let you forget!"

  8. Thank you for making me snort bits of peach all over my screen.
    In the office.
    I've now passed the glory of HI on to all my fantasy-savvy colleagues. There is much snortgiggling going on today!

  9. Ultimate Spoiler for those familiar with English civil wars! Lannister = Lancaster and Stark = York.

    Halfway through the first book and I'll probably shotgun the rest of them hopefully before season 2 starts. Yeah, Grr Err Err Mrr writes unconscienably slow, but from what I heard Robert Jordan's (who was a friend of his) death before finishing the Wheel of Time series has sort of motivated him to get the rest of the books done.

    "Duh … Twinning!"

    "Sowwy I woke the dwagon!"

    "Winter is coming … Merry Christmas!"

  10. Here's my slogan:
    'Winter is "coming"'
    If ya know what I mean.
    Correct me if there's a better way to annunciate that inflection with better grammer.

  11. I read the first book and I seriouslly had no idea what was going because there were soooooooooooo many characters. I'm glad they killed off a few, if not just to make it a little easier to follow. Although I started the second book and they added more characters…

    I read somewhere that by killing off all the grownups, the story is really about the kids coming into their own and ruling and all that shiz


    Grr Err Err Mrr kills kids, too, in the books. like… lots of them. Dude doesn't discriminate. 🙁


    • Yeah, by killing everyone, it's really about the zombies coming into their own and ruling and all that shiz.

      Queue "But he kills off zombies, too!"

  13. Wait… Peter Dinklage is in GoT?


    Now I'll HAVE to watch it.

    I HAVE to watch anything with John Cusack, Paul Giamatti, Ryan Reynolds, or Peter Dinklage.

  14. I watched the first episode of the first season last night, and it really just made me want to watch "Spartacus" again. I'm going to keep going because it seems awesome, but then I will have to watch Lucy Lawless getting all nakefied again.

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