NBC Makes Excellent Business Decisions

Remember Scrooge McDuck’s money bin? It housed not only the whole of his vast riches but also his “Number One Dime.” I imagine Jeff Zucker, President of NBC, has a similar structure for housing NBC’s wealth. I also imagine (nay, assume) that Mr. Zucker backstrokes through gold ingots and bank notes alike, occasionally diving only to resurface and spew priceless coins from his blow hole.

The only reason I can come up with for NBC’s decision to drop iTunes as a distributor for it’s television properties is that the Money Bin in question must be full.

“We simply can’t fit any more money in this fantastic chamber! One more dollar and I won’t be able to use the diamond encrusted high dive! What good is all of this money if I can’t swim through it? What other uses could I possibly find for it? I know I can have sex on it, or WITH it, but that’s not the point. No! Do not empty that wheelbarrow of money in here! Where did that money come from? iTunes sales of popular NBC shows like “The Office” and “Heroes?” Get Steve Jobs on the phone immediately! I’ll put a stop to this!”

The guy talking was Jeff Zucker.

Josh might have been concerned by this news but it turns out that the terms of the deal in no way affect his ability to illegally download NBC shows from BitTorrent. So he’s cool with it.

Posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , .

19 Comments

  1. Well….last year I purchased The Office Season 3 from iTunes. Looks like this time around I’ll pirate it. Way to go NBC. Morons.

  2. I’m not even sure which US network shows Battlestar Galactica but at this moment I’m sure hoping it’s not NBC. I’e bought the first three seasons through my US iTunes account and am looking forward to season 4. If it is NBC looks like I’ll be pirating it since the local networks (aka Australia) couldn’t get Sci-Fi right if it’d literally save their lives.

  3. Bah… I don’t watch TV (though shows like The Office and Heroes DO look interesting), so I guess I don’t have that extra level of drama to deal with.

    BTW, I wanted to note it on your last one (I didn’t want to seem like I was spamming you with my comments), but I like how the look of the comic has evolved since I came and started watching it. Keep it up, I’m looking forward to your new comics more than PA’s or VGCats.

  4. @bjbm

    Straight forward and to the point. Nice.

    @ms

    What?! You arent goinf to buy it through Universals new store, Hulu? The audacity!

    @dw

    Well then it looks bad for you. SciFi IS NBC and BSG is the only SciFi content NBC was distributing on iTunes.

    @AJ

    Less TV is probably a good thing, though I would run out of comic ideas pretty quick.
    I keep playing with the style to get it right where I want it. I forgot to do the thick black outlines on the characters this time. Not sure if I should go back and fix it. Thoughts?

  5. Loved the comic, so funny. First time reader and subscriber.

    If you’re going to go back and fix the lines, you could also fix the last paragraph to “affect his ability”. Sorry, I’m grammar police.

  6. @ Eugene

    Thanks!

    I did not confuse effect with affect. Sweet god. I usually just sit down and write the posts in about 20 minutes without really thinking about what it is I’m going to write. I will definitely go back and fix that.

  7. @ Joel (who else, really?)

    I didn’t think anything was off during my first go through. I will incriminate myself and admit to having a rather short attention span and tend to overlook minor details (which accounts for me taking in all the advice that was given to you in the PA forums – I would’ve never figured any of that stuff out on my own).

    But, at a more scrutinizing glance, I think that you could add some depth by making the characters’ right arms thinner (the NBC exec’s, yours and Josh’s), as they’re all facing the same way, Now that I look at it, if it wasn’t for you clearly touching the right side of the monitor on panel 2, I could swear that it looks like your arms are right on top of one another.

    But still, thoroughly enjoyable despite minor fine-tuning.

    I may have to take your TV viewing to heart; I finally settled on an idea for mine and will have to do some TV watching for storyline ideas… or at least get my more TV-literate friends to help me write it.

  8. “@dw

    Well then it looks bad for you. SciFi IS NBC and BSG is the only SciFi content NBC was distributing on iTunes.”

    Umm, no. Eureka, that paranormal show and at least a couple other original Sci-Fi shows are (were) on iTunes, too. Although Usenet gets them sooner… 🙂

  9. They’ll be back! So will MTV and Paramount. Who are they kidding? They are months away from hulu.com being up and running. Add another year or two for the dust to settle, so people can find them, and 2 more years for people to TRUST them. All the while, they WON’T be selling shows on iTunes, a WELL KNOWN AND TRUSTED SITE that’s been up for years. (Apple has been around for 30 years, hulu has been around for 5 minutes — who are YOU going to trust with your money?) This is a disaster in the making, and they are going to lose millions.

    And when they DO COME BACK to iTunes — we, the online community, will be there to RUB IT IN THERE FACES, and constantly remind them at every opportunity, of how stupid (and greedy) they all were for leaving in the first place.

  10. @crlake

    I agree. I’m not saying Apple should have a monopoly on digital content distribution and hardware to play said content. I just don’t think anyone else is competing on the same level at this point. The iPod is a nearly perfect device and no other manufacturer has come close to its style and simplicity. ITMS is basically the model for how digital content should be distributed (other than the DRM which isnt Apple’s fault). Apple makes an iPod, MS makes a Zune. Apple has iTunes and Universal has Hulu. Why is there a trend among Apple competitors to name products to sound like Aboriginal tribes.

    If Dell makes a competitor for the Mac they should call it the Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje.

  11. @AJ

    I’ve had to go back and fix at least some small thing on each and every comic so far. Its due to finishing these up at midnight the night before they go up.

  12. I hate to make comments on comics that haven't been commented in two years, but this is important. NBC CONTINUES TO FUCK UP BY HOSING CONAN O'BRIAN AND BENDING OVER FOR JAY LENO. Way to go, fuckups.

  13. Here is my issue with ever using Apple products.

    "Oh hey company X made a device that works better for playing my vids on the go. Wait what do you mean it's iTunes or nothing? You mean I can't convert the files? Why not I own them don't I? Oh well yes Apple I apologize lord and master I will never leave you"

  14. This point may have already been made here, but I've always beleived that the television networks should be doing what the music industry started doing [granted they started doing it too late to be able to save themselves], and start charging like $2 per episode for all tv shows, or something similar. Not only would this increase their profits, but if the data collected from all those downloads was to be compiled and then factored into the ratings system in America, then maybe up and coming shows might have a bit more of a chance of surviving long enough to put down roots.

    I firmly beleive that one of the reasons why Stargate Universe was cancelled was because alot of the people who were watching it, were downloading it for free and thus there was a whole viewing audience that was virtually invisible in terms of ratings.

    Also, while I'm at it, I think that ratings for shows that are made in America, but are broadcast all over the world, should have those worldwide ratings taken into account.

    Thats my two cents anyways.

Leave a Reply to crlake Cancel reply