comic-2012-09-26-the-grand-opining.jpg

The Grand Opining

comic-2012-09-26-the-grand-opining.jpg

I really do have SO MANY OPINIONS about TV shows, you guys! Especially some of the ones that haven’t actually come out yet. How are those opinions even formed? Upon what basis do they situate themselves? I will answer these question in order. EXPERIENCE AND PURE CONJECTURE! That is either the answer to one or both of the questions. Perhaps all or none of them as well. I will probably explore these opinions about shows both real and soon-to-be-real in the next few comics.

It’s a very dangerous game I play, this liking and disliking stuff and tell people about it game. The strategies involved compare closely to master level chess or even dad-against-children level Monopoly. The bottom line is, my opinions are too big to keep inside. I must share them! I feel so strongly about things like TV shows and movies that were I to contain my critiques of them, my brain would go super nova and take out half the galaxy with it. Better to let me make my silly Internet comics and posts to exorcise my demons rather than clean up such a cosmic mess.

The word “opinions” actually comes from the old phrase “old pine ones.” As in, “That guy won’t shut up about what he thinks about stuff. Let’s beat him to death with bats. These old pine ones will do the job.” In the future, opinions will be cultured in a lab, freeze dried, powered and baked into snack foods. Opin-YUMZ! will revolutionize the worlds of eating garbage and feeling ways about stuff, since each time you pop an Opin-YUMZ! flavor discus into your face-cave, you’ll instantly feel whatever opinion was baked into that particular bag. There’s Zesty “Music was better when I was in highschool” Ranch, and Cheesy Chedder “Gary’s new girlfriend is too controlling” Blast and Tangy “Everyone is a little bit racists, it’s not JUST me” Mesquite BBQ.

WHY ARE THEY STILL MAKING THE OFFICE?!?!?! Are you still watching it? SHAME ON YOU! When the star leaves 3 seasons AFTER it’s not funny any more and they continue to make more episodes, all complicit parties are equally guilty. This includes you! Of course, this is the final season and people DO like to feel a since of “sticking it out to the bitter end” and all. Still, every time I see a clip from one of the recent seasons of The Office, it’s like going to visit a loved one who’s recently suffered a traumatic brain injury. You really just want to cling to your fond memories, but they insist on overwriting them with new, morbidly depressing ones.

COMMENTERS: When I got my first email account (Hotmail circa 1995) I put a lyric from my favorite Harvey Danger song as my signature. “When you like something, it’s an opinion. When I like something, it’s a manifesto.” I feel like that perfectly sums up the way in which geeks like and dislike things. We just seem to FEEL more strongly about our preferences than the average person. There is far less, “Meh… I could take it or leave it,” within the geek community. We usually either loves something so much that it burns us or we hate something so much that we want to burn it.  Do you have any particular experience (positive or negative) with this “intensity of opinions” that geeks seem to possess? Anyone ever harp on you for liking or not liking things in a way that they approved of? Are you the person that does that?

comic-2010-02-24-beet-red.jpg

Beet Red

comic-2010-02-24-beet-red.jpg

Thanks to Paul Southworth of Not Invented Here for informing me that John “Jim Halpert” Krasinski was in the running to play a goofily smirking Captain America [and for essentially coming up with the idea for this comic]. If you like this particular comic, why not email your favorite movie blog and send them a link to it? What could it hurt?

HEY!There is a new LoFijiNKS Podcast up now!

2 Upcoming Appearances!!!
Staple!
March 6 @ The Monarch Event Center in Austin, TX
MORE INFO

Emerald City Comic-Con
March 13-14 @ The Washington State Convention Center in Seattle, WA
MORE INFO

comic-2007-09-03-nbc-itunes.jpg

NBC Makes Excellent Business Decisions

comic-2007-09-03-nbc-itunes.jpg

Remember Scrooge McDuck’s money bin? It housed not only the whole of his vast riches but also his “Number One Dime.” I imagine Jeff Zucker, President of NBC, has a similar structure for housing NBC’s wealth. I also imagine (nay, assume) that Mr. Zucker backstrokes through gold ingots and bank notes alike, occasionally diving only to resurface and spew priceless coins from his blow hole.

The only reason I can come up with for NBC’s decision to drop iTunes as a distributor for it’s television properties is that the Money Bin in question must be full.

“We simply can’t fit any more money in this fantastic chamber! One more dollar and I won’t be able to use the diamond encrusted high dive! What good is all of this money if I can’t swim through it? What other uses could I possibly find for it? I know I can have sex on it, or WITH it, but that’s not the point. No! Do not empty that wheelbarrow of money in here! Where did that money come from? iTunes sales of popular NBC shows like “The Office” and “Heroes?” Get Steve Jobs on the phone immediately! I’ll put a stop to this!”

The guy talking was Jeff Zucker.

Josh might have been concerned by this news but it turns out that the terms of the deal in no way affect his ability to illegally download NBC shows from BitTorrent. So he’s cool with it.