Yoink

Yoink

A real thing that really happened for real. My self preservation instincts told me to fling the tainted device across the room, but my iPhone preservation instincts superseded them, and I merely placed it back on the table then ran screaming directly into the ocean. I...
To Siri, With Love

To Siri, With Love

FUNDRAISER UPDATE: 73/100 “Daddy/Daughter Digital Drawing Time” prints were sold! Although they didn’t all sell I was able to raise enough to pay my tax bill due to a handful of EXTREMELY generous donations from some very Fancy Bastards. I am going...
Fully Functional

Fully Functional

FUNDRAISER UPDATE: 63/100 “Daddy/Daughter Digital Drawing Time” prints are sold! This is the LAST WEEK to order yours and support my NOT going to IRS jail (a real thing) efforts! After this week I will have the prints produced and we’ll start signing...
iThink Therefore iAm

iThink Therefore iAm

FUNDRAISER UPDATE: 61/100 “Daddy/Daughter Digital Drawing Time” prints are sold! This is the LAST WEEK to order yours and support my NOT going to IRS jail (a real thing) efforts! After this week I will have the prints produced and we’ll start signing...
Baby Don’t Hurt Me

Baby Don’t Hurt Me

FUNDRAISER UPDATE: 58/100 “Daddy/Daughter Digital Drawing Time” prints are sold! If you were thinking about supporting this IRS “Get out of tax jail” fundraiser, NOW is the time. All proceeds are going to pay an unexpected IRS tax...
iObject

iObject

The BIGGEST MERCH SALE I HAVE EVER DONE  ENDS THIS WEEK (9/21/13)! GO NOW to the HE STORE $10 Books! $9 Shirts!  A guy is suing apple because he has to pay for each half of season 5 of Breaking Bad separately, and because he has nowhere to be, nothing to do, no one...
And Everything In Its Place

And Everything In Its Place

When you take an iPad out of the bathroom, it’s actually like when you try and take the Holy Grail beyond the seal of the Grail Chamber. Your everything collapses, killing a 500 year old knight and some Nazis then you, Sean Connery and John Rhys-Davies ride off...
The Unsearchable Ones

The Unsearchable Ones

The HIJINKS ENSUE STORE Is where you can buy stuff that I made! It supports me and my family and keeps this little operation going. There are two lies in the above comic. 1) Josh would never “Bing” anything, and 2) The Apple Store would never deny Josh...
You Are Here…ish

You Are Here…ish

I guess they should have stuck with iOS 5th edition. BANG! ZOOM! ETC! And thus I have exhausted my knowledge of Dungeons and/ or Dragons. Wait, one more. Maybe they should have stuck with the GPS… GRAPH PAPER SYST[bursts into flames, explodes forever] Big thanks...
A Few Minor Bugs

A Few Minor Bugs

Josh is ever the early adopter. He’s the perpetual volunteer technology guinea pig, especially where iDevices and Apple operating systems are concerned. Most times the only consequences he has to endure for his enthusiasm are a couple of “restores from...
Surface Tension

Surface Tension

As an unapologetic Apple fanboy, I am probably not the most expected source for seemingly anti-Apple sentiment. But a fact is a fact, and chief among Apple’s key strategies is waiting for years after a new service, feature or function is adopted...
The Harsh Light Of Day

The Harsh Light Of Day

The Lil’ Wil Wheaton Plushie Pre-Sale IS NOW HERE in the HE Store. The ONLY way to make sure you get one by the holidays is to order during the pre-sale. They’re $19.95 + shipping. Buy one for you, one for a friend and one to customize with a little fez or...
Consecration

Consecration

NEW SHIRT!!! There are a lot of misconceptions about THE PENTAPPLEGRAM. Did you know ancient druids used it to ward off kernel panics as well as for human sacrifice? Josh has his new “The New iPad” for mere moments before he discovered that it was capable...
What’s In The Box?!

What’s In The Box?!

UPDATE! Check out this new shirt I made: THE PENTAPPLEGRAM! There will probably be stickers as well in the future. Many of us more technologically inclined individuals have certain habbitual behaviors concerning the delivery, unboxing, first use and subsequent...
Indistinguishable From Magic

Indistinguishable From Magic

“George Hurt You” shirts are in the store!!! All I know is that if you say, “Siri, call me Butt Commander,” it will reply thusly, “From now on, I’ll call you Butt Commander. Ok?” That alone is worth the price of entry. Siri Is...
Guest Comic By Alina Pete of Weregeek

Guest Comic By Alina Pete of Weregeek

“Winter Is Coming” shirts are now IN THE STORE!!! [based on this comic] NYCC Guest Week concludes all over your face! Massive impact crater! EXTINCTION LEVEL EVENT! Thanks to all the Fancy Bastards that came out to NYCC. Since I am writing this the night...
Numerology

Numerology

“Winter Is Coming” shirts are now IN THE STORE!!! [based on this comic] [posted 10/7/11] I had this comic written and half drawn when I got the hospital to visit my friend Mikey on Wednesday night. It was about 7:30pm and I had been away from a computer or...
The Macchanal

The Macchanal

The HIJINKS ENSUE STORE Is where you can buy stuff that I made! It supports me and my family and keeps this little operation going. I keep trying to find a way to honestly call this a “mostly true” story, but my integrity won’t let me. It’s a...
The iLluminati

The iLluminati

THE HIJINKS ENSUE STORE IS A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN BUY STUFF!!! OMG you guys, Apple totally wants to go steady with Tim Cook! Brenda told Gina and Gina told Stephanie H. that after study hall, Apple is going to give Tim Cook a million shares of their company valued at...
iWish iKnew How To Force Quit You

iWish iKnew How To Force Quit You

THE HIJINKS ENSUE STORE IS A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN BUY STUFF!!! Time to retire his black turtleneck into the rafters. I honestly feel that Steve Jobs, and his singular vision for his company, have done more to increase the acceptance of technology by the general public...
Hush My Darling, Don’t Fear My Darling

Hush My Darling, Don’t Fear My Darling

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode. I find myself in this position with Josh IRL more often than I like. That is, the position of him “fixing” my computer to...
Genius Barred

Genius Barred

THE HIJINKS ENSUE STORE IS BACK!!! The newly relaunched HE Store is up and running over at Blind Ferret. Please go check it out and maybe buy a book or a shirt or something. Shirts will begin shipping soon, now that we are all back from Comic-Con. Today’s comic...
Big Cat

Big Cat

[Posted 6/27/11 ] I’m still a few comics behind. Thanks for your patience. I’m trying desperately to get caught up on comics, while also shotgunning an entire season of Game Of Thrones before my free preview of HBO expires in a few hours. Assuming I am...
Conditioning

Conditioning

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt which you can purchase now over at Sharksplode. You can read more about it on Wheaton’s Tumblr and the Sharksplode Blogsplode. Splode. You can also get...
2 Pad 2 Furious

2 Pad 2 Furious

EWOK STAAAAAARRREEEEEE!!! C2E2 IN CHICAGO IS NEXT WEEKEND!!! I will be there with Randy, Danielle and David! THERE IS A NEW HE PODCAST!!! EPISODE 81 – DICK ISLAND Josh IRL picked up an iPad 2 today and he’s already looking for ways to not just dispose of,...
The Cuptertino Diet

The Cuptertino Diet

MEEEEDLY MEEEEEDLY SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!! ALL NEW REDESIGNED “AND MY AXE” SHIRTS ARE IN THE STORE! NEW HE Podcast Episode 80: Medium Seabiscuit [or is it Sexbiscuit?] OMG EMERALD CITY COMICON IS RIGHT NOW [starting Friday]!!! Come see me and Angela at booth...
The Morning Paper

The Morning Paper

LAST CHANCE FOR “KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY OVIPOSITOR SHIRTS”!!! They are only $15! They will never be printed again, so get ’em while you can. Here! Have an unfinished comic. UPDATE: I replaced the comic with the final inked and colored version, but if...
We’re Calling This One Busted

We’re Calling This One Busted

DALLAS AREA FANCY BASTARDS: Come see me at Star Trek Fan Days this weekend (October 23rd – 24th) in Plano, TX. Riker, Data, Worf, Doc Brown, Draco Malfoy, and Captain Kirk will be there! More info HERE. Flip You Melon Farmer! The “Edited For Content”...
Therefart iAm

Therefart iAm

The only I reason I can think of for Apple looking to Phillip Shoemaker, the creator of such apps as “Animal Farts” and the e-urine v-simulatrum “iWiz“, for a leadership position in the App Store is that Steve Jobs has realized his own...
Under The Bridge Downtown Pt. 3

Under The Bridge Downtown Pt. 3

To be concluded in “Under The Bridge Downtown: Epilogue”. I’ve been having a ton of fun with this experiment in brief, contained continuity. If you like it, I may inject a bit more of it from time to time. I might do a big, 4 comic tall poster of...
First World Problems

First World Problems

<sarcasm>My heart really goes out to everyone who bought a brand new magical internet computer phone and isn’t 100% satisfied with their purchase. Sometimes life just takes a shit right on your face, doesn’t it?. It’s like you’re a...
An Uncommon iNfestation

An Uncommon iNfestation

“Quick! Get me a Macbook Air. We must shave him! It is the only way to sap him of his strength!” Thanks to everyone that watched me draw this comic live on Ustream. Follow me on Twitter if you want to know when the live streams are going to be. I remember...
Special Delivery II: The Trackening

Special Delivery II: The Trackening

Panel 4: Two sections of tree trunk, adorned with spikes and suspended by vines come swinging at the delivery man from both sides compacting most of his parts while oddly enough expanding others. Keen observers will note that Joel is covered in mud. This is due to the...
Gadget Envy

Gadget Envy

Unfortunately Starfleet won’t offer Geordi an upgrade before Stardate 64638.1. He’s also under contract for that visor. They’ve been able to grow new eyeballs in a replicator for years now but he doesn’t want to pay the early termination fee....
Looking At The Big Bang Picture

Looking At The Big Bang Picture

If you have a chance to watch Into The Universe With Stephen Hawking, and enjoy having your mind blown by space science then I strongly suggest you do… both things. The  watching the show thing and the mind thing. It is essentially an updated Carl Sagan’s...
Guest Comic By Straight Face Comics

Guest Comic By Straight Face Comics

C2E2 in Chicago kicked my ass (and my throat) a bit more than I expected, so please accept as your daily dose of comic’d geekery this offering from Matt and Donald of Straight Face Comics. I’ll be writing more about C2E2 and Chicago in the blog later today...
Behold The Abomination

Behold The Abomination

The little genetically engineered worm guy’s name is Styli. Styli the Meat Tube. Or Meatube if you prefer. Either way. He prays nightly to a god that isn’t there to snuff out his wretched, tubey, meatish existence. If you enjoy HE and and would like to...
The Modern Family Comedy Half Hour (c) 1957

The Modern Family Comedy Half Hour (c) 1957

iPad the star of Modern Family iPad Product Placement On Modern Family, Actually Wasn’t, Still Irked Fans 30-minute iPad ad on ABC’s ‘Modern Family’ ‘Modern Family’ Co-Creator Explains Genesis of iPad Story I am posting a 4th panel to...
A Sudden Stevepiphany

A Sudden Stevepiphany

This is actually what happend right before The Dark Crystal. Apple: Our Screens Don’t Need No Protecting Apple Banning Screen Protectors in Retail Stores? Steve Jobs helps push organ donation legislation If you like to see what goes into the making of the comic I have...
There’s The Flashing Magic Screen

There’s The Flashing Magic Screen

I’ll be at Dallas Comic Con this weekend [Saturday and Sunday]. Come say hi! At least for now, if you click HERE you will see a video regarding the Apple iPad that begins with a quote of outstanding douchery [captured nearly verbatim in panel 1 above]. Apple...
Numfar! Do The Dance of Joy

Numfar! Do The Dance of Joy

I’ll be at Dallas Comic Con this weekend. Come say hi! Oh, Steve. You had me at “we are not currently developing a tablet.” Seems like the new Apple iPad would be fun to travel with. Can’t see much use for it around the house when it really...
Apples And Roddenberries

Apples And Roddenberries

Hey, look! Here’s a comic about buying a computer that used to belong to the guy that created Star Trek. I’m too tired to make funny words to go with it, but it will probably be a two-parter so check back Friday for the conclusion [unless I decide to do...
Manzanas y Naranjas

Manzanas y Naranjas

Sorry the comic was super late-sauce today. My site had to be moved to a different server at my host for technical reasons and my chronic back pain was acting up causing me to be unable to sit in a chair for more than 15 min at a time. Plus EXCUSES EXCUSES EXCUSES I...
Special Delivery Pt. 2

Special Delivery Pt. 2

[I have some errands to run, but I’ll post my initial thoughts on the iPhone 3GS soon.] Or maybe just no blog post today. Tags: apple, iphone, iphone 3g, iphone 3gs,...
Special Delivery

Special Delivery

Today is iPhone 3Gs delivery day. I’ve been refreshing FedEx’s tracking page every 45 seconds for 8 hours. Jun 19, 2009 4:18 AM – At dest sort facility – DALLAS, TX Jun 19, 2009 6:58 AM – At local FedEx facility – ADDISON, TX Jun...
The Hardware Upgrade Cycle

The Hardware Upgrade Cycle

Hey! It’s Boxcar Pete! You know, the lovable hobo that talks like a pirate? Little known fact about Pete, there’s no eyeball behind his monocle. Some say he isn’t a man at all, but a horde of ravenous rats stacked 6 feet high. Those people are...
The Dietary Habbits Of Procyon Iotor

The Dietary Habbits Of Procyon Iotor

…Or the common North American Raccoon. I have no idea why I did this comic, so don’t ask me. Raccoons and iPods? Whatever. The multi-hair-colored young lady in panels 1 and 2 is long time friend of HijiNKS Ensue, Stacy. She is soon to be an Apple Genius at...
Give Me Something To Bitch About

Give Me Something To Bitch About

Sorry for the late comic. I was preparing for, then participating in an actual job interview for an actual job. The Experiment isn’t over, just evolving. More on that as things develop. Re: The background of this comic – I asked Twitter what my background...
It Puts The Black Mock Turtleneck On Its Skin

It Puts The Black Mock Turtleneck On Its Skin

Sorry. I watched “Hannibal” last weekend. Hannibal Lecter is my favorite fictional villain of all time. I’ve always said, “If I have to be murdered and eaten, I want Hannibal Lecter to be the one to do it.” You know why? One word. Class....