Hulk: El Hombre Increíble

UPDATE: Or maybe this didn’t happen at all.

In the same week it was announced that former TV Hulk, Lou “The Ferrigs” Ferrigno, was joining Steven “Fat Karate” Seagal in the Arizona Anti-Illegal Immigration Marauder Posse Squad Strike Force Delta, AND that Guillermo “The Most Mexican Director In Hollywood” del Toro would be bringing a new Hulk TV series to ABC.

Keep Your Laws Off My Ovipositor T-ShirtI can put up with a lot of things, but brand disparity among individuals loosely affiliated with the same fictional property is ALWAYS where I draw the line. I guess. Come on, The Incredible Hulk Franchise. Pro-Mexican or Anti-Mexican? Pick a side. We’re at war.

Is it just me, or does this story make it seem like Steven Seagal actually is the character he played in Robert Rodriguez’s Machete? Pro-tip for illegals trying to sneak past Lou Ferrigno at the border: he’s partially deaf. Stay behind him and be very, very quiet. If he catches you in a sleeper hold, it’s lights out.

For those unfamiliar with Eli’s Vespa-riding doppleganger, it is his friend Alex. He last appeared in THIS COMIC taking Eli’s place after Eli asked for too much imaginary comic money.

COMMENTERS: This whole thing just screams, “set up for a reality show.” Name the show, come up with the tagline, and/or give us an episode synopsis. I’ll get you started:

“Bean Counters with Lou Ferrigno and Steven Seagal! We’re taking these illegals back to brown-town!”

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31 Comments

  1. Wahoo! I hope we're takin' that powder blue loaner Vespa back to the shop to pick up my black Vespa S150… that or to jump it over 15 El Delorios…

    Also, this is especially funny to me, because Eli has some prejudice against scooters…

  2. Not to be a buzzkill, but Mrs. Ferigno gave an interview with Comics Alliance to the effect that Lou was not a part of the posse and was there to support a speech she was giving – I think it was on human trafficking.

    Also, I think a cochlear implant in recent years has given him much better hearing…

  3. Sometimes the inability of ordinarily intelligent people to understand the difference between these astounds me:

    1) Being against illegal immigrants
    2) Being against legal immigrants
    3) Being against Mexicans

    I classify myself in group 1, but not group 2 or group 3. I have nothing against legal immigrants. I have several friends who immigrated legally, including some from Mexico. I even helped one of them get here. Two, if you count her guinea pig. 😉 I'm opposed to letting people jump the line, break the law, and get away with it. Send them back home and let them join the legal immigration queue. Seriously, we knew what to do with people who cut in line in kindergarten. We have tons of people waiting to get in legally, working their way through the process; what does it say when we reward those who break the rules, skip the process, and sneak in? This should be elementary stuff.

    • I consider myself in group 1 as well, I have no problem whatsoever with people from other countries wanting to live here but, to quote Dennis Miller, just sign the damn guest book first.

    • THANK YOU!
      I live in Arizona, I support the bill, and I'm sick and tired of people calling us racist. Honestly, I'd be willing to bet 3/4 of the people opposing it are just up in arms because they heard from the grape vine it specifically targets Mexicans, which it doesn't. Hell, the word "Mexican" or any similar term aren't even present in the bill.

      People need to stop, learn about the topic, THINK, and THEN pass judgement. Yeesh.

      Still, a pleasent comic, as per usual. Keep it up.

  4. Title="The Incredible Bulk"
    TL= No les gusta cuando están cara que punzonado (You wont like them when they are face punching you; in spanish to show how incredibly racist this show is and to warn our cinnamon hued friend

    Episode one- start in with close ups of them putting on bullet proof vests and fingerless leather gloves. They then simultaneously walk out of an armory carrying big guns. After putting on their sunglasses, they look at the camera and say "Illegals beware, America isn't fucking around anymore"

    They then spend the next 25 minutes committing hate crimes and saying ignorant comments. It is like Jersey Shore but slightly more watchable.

  5. Joel you should see about getting some kind of hamn company to advertise on your site, cause every time you make a joke about ham I find myself craving it. Especially now for hate ham, the mose delicious of the hams.

  6. Title – Butterball and Green
    Tag – Remember us?

    Things go a little wonky in the first episode when Segal realizes that Lou is an illegal and goes after him. And super duper black belt or not Lou kills him, (Hulk smash butterball). Lou goes on the run and the show follows him as he learns to live on just his wits. He is caught immediately.

  7. I'm not against anti-immigration laws, per se. I am very against unofficial posses being formed. Who gave celebrities or any of these guys the right to patrol and what not?

  8. Steven Segall and Lou Ferrigno in: The Enforcers.
    Tag line: "We don't make the laws, we Enforce them… And we support them."

    The whole thing gets a bit wonky when you remember that Segall is now licensed, or legal, or whatever it is, as a law enforcement officer. Isn't there a whole reality show about it? I've seen clips on The Soup.

    For most of us who don't live in Arizona, it's not the law itself, per se, that we take issue with. It's the demand to present papers, whenever asked, to whomever is asking. I find it hard to believe that average, run-of-the-mill white people are often asked to present papers. That's the part that makes us think it could be racist. "You're brown, show me papers." That may not be how it actually happens, but that's the perception of what COULD happen. It also seems a bit "anti-tourism."

    • Here's my papers: a NM driver's license and my Social Security card (since NM allows illegally present foreign nationals to obtain driver's licenses).

      The Albuquerque Police Dept. found its way around the profiling issue by making a deal with the INS: they have a field office at downtown booking, and they run the immigration status of EVERYONE who is arrested in Albuquerque. That means every grandma caught shoplifting, every white-collar embezzler, every tagger and gangbanger and drug dealer and hooker get computer-checked. So far, the ACLU hasn't said a peep.

  9. I DO NOT want to start a fight, but when I think of "jobs Americans wont do" I am more thinking of being bent over picking strawberries for 12 hours for a few dollars a day. Most Americans don't realize or don't want to admit that our fruits and vegetables would not be in our Wal-Marts if not for illegals (not saying its the best way, just that its the way we currently operate), and by the same token our iPods would cost $1000 if they werent made by chinese people who are basically indentured servants.

    Almost all of the arguments about illegals working in American take place in a black or white fictionalizes society that none of us live in. If you have a demonstrable skill and we have a job for you, the path the citizenship should be a simple form and a probationary period. Keep a job for 12 months and get your citizenship.

    AGAIN: just my opinion, dont want to start a fight, PLEASE dont come back at me with anger or I will delete the comment.

  10. Steven Segall and Lou Ferrigno in: UNDER SIEGE: BROWN TERRITORY
    Tag Line: Entertaining the poor white trash by taking out the poor brown trash!

    BN: That's not "getting around the issue", that's dealing with it like adults, mm 'kay? That's why the ACLU hasn't said a peep.

  11. The only problem with your "papers" is that they don't prove you're a naturalized citizen. When they say papers they want birth certificates. I don't know about anyone else but I sure don't walk around with that.

    Thing is, this AZ law feels bigoted. Law enforcement just has to think that someone isn't a citizen to make you prove it. Given the current idea that most Americans seem to forget that we're all immigrants.

    One skin color doesn't mean you're foreign, any more then another means you're a citizen. Welcome to the 21st century America, the land of many different people all under one flag.

    Skin color can't and shouldn't be a deciding factor in picking targets to question. AZ would have been far better off making every resident prove their citizen status. Rather than picking who and who isn't questioned about it.

    Profiling seems so great to people until you're in that group that gets profiled.

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