wil-cruise-blog-video-custom-thumbnail

5 Absolutely True Facts About Wil Wheaton

wil-cruise-blog-video-custom-thumbnail

…That he can’t refute because he’s on a boat in the middle of the ocean with no access to the Internet.

Here are 5 absolutely true, yet somehow completely unbelievable facts about actor, writer, gamer and beard haver Wil Wheaton. Since Wil is currently on a boat in the middle of the ocean (for the annual JoCo Cruise), there ain’t a damn thing he can say or do to stop me from REVEALING THESE ULTIMATE TRUTHS ABOUT HIM!

Please support my Patreon: http://patreon.com/hijinksensue
Subscribe to the channel: http://www.youtube.com/c/hijinksensueTV?sub_confirmation=1
Or support via Paypal: http://hijinksensue.com/support/#paypaldonation

2016-02-03-Marvel-Trump-Video---Custom-Thumbnail

Marvel Comics Characters Saying Donald Trump Quotes

2016-02-03-Marvel-Trump-Video---Custom-Thumbnail

Ike Perlmutter, the billionaire CEO of Marvel, recently donated $1 Million to the Donald J. Trump foundation. I know that doesn’t mean Marvel as a whole supports trump, but it does make me think more about how my entertainment dollars are eventually used and also how Trump would fit into the Marvel Universe. Here’s a bunch of Marvel characters saying famous/infamous Trump quotes and tweets.

Please support my Patreon: http://patreon.com/hijinksensue
Subscribe to the channel: http://www.youtube.com/c/hijinksensueTV?sub_confirmation=1
Or support via Paypal: http://hijinksensue.com/support/#paypaldonation

2014-11-12-the-objectification-of-my-affection

The Objectification Of My Affection

2014-11-12-the-objectification-of-my-affection

This biggest difference in the typical straight dude’s celebrity crush and Josh’s is that Josh will likely have sex with this dude before he dies and Kiera Knightly wouldn’t noticed if you jumped on a hundred grenades made of poison dicks to save her.

AUSTIN, TX FANCY BASTARDS! Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage is less than a month away! Details HERE!

I’m working on a new HE Store, that will live HERE when it is done. I’ll be offering new products that I’ve never offered before and I’m pretty excited about it.

Calling all Whovians with holes in their ears! Just look at these Dalek earrings my wife made! They’re in her Etsy store and ready to EXTERMINATE your… lack of perfect ear jewelry?

dalek earrings etsy science and fiction

comic-2013-05-17-avert-your-eyes.jpg

Avert Your Eyes

comic-2013-05-17-avert-your-eyes.jpg

True story. Two true stories, actually, and both come from this year’s Calgary Expo. I did see John Barrowman  (Doctor Who, Arrow, the concept of human beauty, etc) at the Calgary Airport, and I DID lose one of my senses. It wasn’t my sight, however. Instead I lost the power to make words come out of my face in an order and at a cadence or volume that another human being could interpret as speech. I said something like, “Mr. Barrowmaaaghhhh I GLAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHBBZZZZZZZZhurflhurfldurfl.” I’m sure he’s had enough practice at this point to know exactly what I meant. Something along the lines of, “You’re a neat guy who I like to see on my tv. Good job. Also, very pretty. Good that too.” Even with a month of reflection I still can’t make it eloquent.

The other true part of this story is the eclipse box part, which is the advice I gave to Wil when he was struck dumb by the fact that Lena Headey kept talking to him… ON PURPOSE, and putting her hands on his shoulders… ON PURPOSE and not throwing fire at his face… ON PURPOSE! She’s a very talented and very pretty lady, is the point we were examining.

PHOENIX COMICON BOOTH LOCATION CHANGE!!!

David and I will be at booth 243, NOT 1749 and NOT by the LEGOs. Come in the main entrance, hang a left and head to the back corner.

COME SEE ME AND DAVID IN PHOENIX, APRIL 23-26! BOOTH 1749 way in the back by the LEGOs! BOOTH 243! More details HERE

hijinks-ensue-dumbing-of-age-phoenix-2013-small

COMMENTERS: Have you ever had a chance encounter with a celebrity or someone you admired? Did you manage to make face words sound good?

Comments (37)

Alexander Burns's avatar - Go to profile

Alexander Burns· 106 weeks ago

I met Summer Glau and was totally stunned by her gorgeous, gorgeous brown eyes. 

The big one, though, was I ran into James Hong (Lo Pan from Big Trouble in Little China, Old Asian Guy in every other movie that needs an old Asian guy) while visiting friends in LA. I had ignored celebrity sightings prior to that, but him I totally geeked out on and had to go talk to. He was awesome and got his wife (I assume) to take our picture.
Dave's avatar

Dave· 106 weeks ago

I grew up outside of LA and live in San Diego. Years of exposure, Comic Con, and folks like you who are both insanely gracious with their time and very real normal people in person have robbed me of being excited by being in the same room with movie stars and such. 

There are many folks like you who are who they are in the middle of the public. There are others who, when surrounded by fans, slip into actor-mode and resume playing a character. This isn’t a criticism of them, I can see the necessity. You do it to protect your privacy and core self… whether you realize it or not. But folks like you, Wil Wheaton, Felicia Day, Chris Hardwick who simply can’t help but be who they are (Or are even better at tricking me than the other guys) and the difference can be jarring but also normalizing. 

I realized just how numb I had become when I was in line for a concert and a few band members were outside catching a smoke before the show. The drummer and the basist I believe… folks less immediately recognizable than some of the others. It took a moment for the crowd to realize who these folks were but once they did there was a line of giddy people excited to get their pictures taken and such. I didn’t get it. He’s just a dude. 

BUT I’m not completely immune. For some reason professional athletes still surprise me. Poor Troy Polamalu and Paul Kariya never saw me coming =/ Also Mr. T. But C’mon. that’s Mr. T. I bet Momma Mr. T gets tongue tied when he comes to visit.
HikingViking's avatar

HikingViking· 106 weeks ago

At this point I actively avoid celebrities because, well mostly because nearly all of my celebrity encounters are similar to yours was with the Face-of-Beau. I think the last celebrity encounter I had was at the Emerald City Comicon. I stalked this artist’s booth, waited for his line to die down, and then went and nervously asked for a sketch of the majestic trash whale. The artist managed to understand my mumbling and did a fantastic sketch. The whole time I thought about saying something like “Your comic is seriously one of the highlights of my day”, or, “How are you so spot on with your assessments of geek culture?” But instead I just thanked him for the sketch and shuffled away. Damn celebrities!
Leah's avatar

Leah· 106 weeks ago

This is one of my favorite Hijinks Ensue comics ever. So much good stuff in every panel.
Ceri's avatar

Ceri· 106 weeks ago

Meeting famous people makes me sweat profusely and say aweful condecending things that I REALLY DON’T MEAN. My mouth seems to uncouple from my brain in these moments. Neil Gaiman and John Green have had to suffer from this (I geek out over authors the most).
Hypersapien's avatar

Hypersapien· 106 weeks ago

Wasn’t it Max Headroom?
Puja's avatar

Puja· 106 weeks ago

Once served Anthony Stewart Head when I used to work in PC World. I made the conscious decision that any attempt at non-computer-based conversation would result in me incoherently fanboying at him and embarrassing both him and me. So I very calmly put what he wanted to buy through the till and spoke no more words to him than to any other client. 

Once he had safely left the store, I was able to go out back to the staffroom and hyperventilate. 

Puja
Nakari's avatar

Nakari· 106 weeks ago

I once, on a vacation, bumped into Stephen King. I ended up standing there, glassy eyed, trying to even say “Hello”. I think what ended up coming out was something like “HIILOVEYOURBOOKSYOU’RETHEREASONIAMTRYINGTOBECOMEAPUBLISHEDAUTHORIWANTTOHUGYOU!”…

Actually not a bad guy. He laughed and told me good luck with my writing, and gave me a little advice to the tune of: “You’re going to hate your early work, then look at your new work, and love your early work again. It’s a cycle”. I proceeded to have my brain leak out my ear, and forgot how to speak for a week afterwards.
Liam's avatar

Liam· 106 weeks ago

Almost saw Bill Murray here in Charleston. I was told that he was at the bakery next to the library that I work at but the bakery had just closed and I didn’t want to go over there just to see Bill Murray I wanted to treat it as something casual. “Oh I’m just in here to buy a cup of coffee and look it’s famed actor Bill Murray.” I could also see Stephen Colbert since he comes down here often.
I think it was in 2011 that I decided to spend much of my Fan Expo days in line for autographs. I was able to meet Kevin Sorbo, Tom Felton and William Shatner to name a few. Kevin Sorbo was by far the greatest person to meet, he even knew of the Scottish Festival our town holds every year, which was pretty cool. Even Tom Felton was great and awesome to communicate with. 

I don’t think i’ve ever met a celebrity i’ve gone absolutely crazy over, but i’ve never really hero-worshiped any in my lifetime either. They are actors and their job is to entertain us, to that i’m grateful, but they are still people like you and me. (So i keep my bubbly giggles to myself and squeal after i’m out of earshot of them)
I’ve met celebrities, actors, directors, writers, politicians, and I’ve never had a problem making conversation or talking like a human person, except once: Terry Pratchett. I went completely blank. He couldn’t have been nicer or more patient, and by the time I went through his line the third time (I had a lot of books with me) I was nearly approximating actual speech.

1  · active 106 weeks ago

OMFG – If I had met Terry Pratchett, I would probably break down and cry. I mean, I love Joss and would have a hard time being coherent if I met him, but Pratchett is like a god to me.
missmushu's avatar

missmushu· 106 weeks ago

As I work in a major international airport, I routinely see celebrities big and small at both their best and their worst. 

The worst in my personal experience has to be Richard Dean Anderson. He used to pass through town regularly (on the ass end of a drunkening) and frequently made a complete fool of himself. 

My all-time favourite traveller is Mark Sheppard (of Firefly, BSG, Supernatural etc.). I’ve dealt with him several times now and he is always polite and patient and gracious and he has the dreamiest voice! I always try to keep my cartoon hearts to myself because I have a very serious job to do but my co-workers have noted that my eyelashes work overtime whenever he comes through. I can’t resist.
Ali's avatar

Ali· 106 weeks ago

Not a chance encounter, but at the height of my obsession with a certain band, their guitarist played a gig with his side project band at a venue whose owner happened to be friends with my dad. I went into the green room to say hi and was a bit of a blushing idiot. He signed my band sweatshirt though and after the show he gave me a hug and said he’d seen me singing along and was glad I enjoyed the show. Squee.
amerikanuak's avatar

amerikanuak· 106 weeks ago

Yeah, I met Alton Brown. He was waiting in the wings to go and be introduced. All I could think to say was, “Who cut your hair, man?” a la Sgt. Stadanko (Cheech and Chong). He responded, “Who cut yours?”. I think there was some sort of tie in with one of the episodes of his show, Good Eats, but I don’t remember exactly.
I was listening (from Germany) to a radio-show David Tennant was in. It was very early and I had done a nightshift and I was alone in the office. So I wrote a mail into the studio, when they were searching for a few people from different countries for a conference-call with Mr. Tennant. AND THEY CALLED ME! So I had to try to talk to David Tennant on the phone – on air! – without making a fool out of myself 🙂 I told him, that he had whispered into my ears all night – because I had listened to one of his audiobooks during work 😀 It was fun and I was a nervous wreck the whole day afterwards 😀
Everything about this comic and what was said about how “sentences” come out while speaking directly to a celebrity in the description are accurately me. I have experienced this lack of being able to form words in front of James Cromwell, Joely Fisher, Olympia Dukakis, Adam Baldwin, Felicia Day, Kevin Spacey, and even Tony Danza, and Robert Sean Leonard. Heck, I couldn’t even talk when I met comedians like Bill Engvall or Jeff Foxworthy. *sigh* 

Shockingly ,despite my viewing them in near god-like ways, the few people I’ve been able to talk to are all from the Whedon “verse”. I was able to form nearly a complete sentence when I met Nathan Fillion and a few sentences when I met Joss Whedon and gave them each the Dr. Horrible/Captain Hammer figures I’d made for them. Though, I couldn’t tell you what I said, but my friends told me I was totally able to talk. 

My only real celebrity win was totally chatting with Maurissa Tancharoen, Jed Whedon, and David Fury at an SDCC party back in 2010. There was talking, tweeting, and picture taking. Massively impressive for me. 

Of course, now I also want to bring a pinhole box to SDCC this year.
Dean's avatar

Dean· 106 weeks ago

One time I walked into my local comic book store and Neil Gaiman was there, talking aboutBeowulf. He’s much shorter than you’d expect. 

I could barely even look directly at him.

1  · active 106 weeks ago

Candace's avatar

Candace· 106 weeks ago

I met Howard Jones after a concert once when he was doing autographs, and was surprised to find myself looking directly into his face. (I’m only 5’1″, so he can’t be taller than 5’3″). I believe I managed to form at least one complete sentence and not make a total fool out of myself. He was really nice.
Candace's avatar

Candace· 106 weeks ago

Also, awesome comic, Joel! And yeah, Barrowman is dreamy. I’m fairly sure I would have done no better.
In 2008 I ran into John Kerry in the French Quarter here in New Orleans. I was very drunk and in a hurry to catch the last streetcar. What comes out of my mouth? “I’m sorry you lost, man. I totally voted for you.” 

Goddammit.

1  · active 106 weeks ago

Christ. 2005 I meant. I can typing.
lou's avatar

lou· 106 weeks ago

At WonderCon 2011, their last appearance in San Francisco for the foreseeable future, I moseyed around the DC booth and, despite not getting an autograph from Grant Morrison in one of the books he wrote, I got them from Judd Winnick, Geoffe Johns, Marv Wolfman, and Paul Levitz. Funny thing was, I was supposed to get Johns to autograph my friend’s Hardcover of Green Lantern: Rebirth, but I didn’t know which booth he was working at that weekend. But I got the book the next day, suckered up to Levitz by saying we like his Legion of Superheroes work (since he’d credited as Publisher when GL:R was made), and got him too sign it.
Scruff's avatar

Scruff· 106 weeks ago

I was at a developer conference for Apple some years back, I hung around in the auditorium after the presentation to write some notes on my laptop. Munhead was buried in my work when I hear a ‘hi, what did you think of the presentation?” – looked up and it was Steve Jobs. I said ‘Gurkkhdhhu’. He turned and walked away.
I bought a super fancy pass for the last con I went to and it included tickets for the after party. Which, silly me, I thought was just for the pass holders. 

I realised my mistake when a hand dropped on my shoulder while I was at the bar and it was David Hasselhoff trying to get passed me. I stepped aside to another con goer to freak out only to be face to face (or chin to eyes with) Eliza Dushku. Turns out the party was just for the 40 of with us with fancy bastard tickets and all the celebrity guests. 

Highlights of that night included chatting over cocktails with Alex Kingston (who is the most amazing woman I have ever met), and bumming a smoke off Tonks which Atreyu (FALCOR!) then lit. 

After 5 minutes speaking with Alex (ohmygod thisisriversong you’retotallytalkingtoMrstheDoctor) I got so nervous I had to run to the toilets and vomit. Not my finest hour, but certainly my favourite night involving celebrities.

1  · active 106 weeks ago

Wow. That is the story. You totally win this one. I LOVE Alex Kingston, she does seem awesome! And Tonks and Atreyu? My childhood and adulthood collide! <3
Gordon's avatar

Gordon· 106 weeks ago

I met Darth Vader in a target in the early 80’s. apparently they used to do promo shit like that back then. My little kid self shook his hand whilst terrified and said nice to meet you. As we’re getting our picture taken I told my step Mom “That hand didn’t stop Han Solo’s blaster!” It was close to becoming like that scene in the movie Elf when “Santa” visits the toy store.. Good times.
Koan the Barbarian's avatar

Koan the Barbarian· 106 weeks ago

I worked as a security guard at a TV studio and saw a few Celebrities of my local area going in and out and once or twice an international comedian and for the most part I was articulate and polite. 

One time though… I was working weird hours that didn’t give me much chance to sleep so at about 6 in the morning on about two hours worth of sleep I let into the building the two hosts of a national show that reviews video games. To this day I have no idea why I did what I did next but I will forever remember bellowing out the name of the show at the top of my voice. 

To their credit, they took it in stride.
Chaucer59's avatar

Chaucer59· 99 weeks ago

Ursula K Le Guin, twenty years ago at a small get together of graduate students. Charming lady. Signed my dog-eared old SF Book Club copy of The Wind’s Twelve Quarters.
I was at the state fair once in Arizona, (not) coincidentally the day that Weezer would be playing a show there. My wife and I were walking through the food booths looking for a (fried) bite to eat, and drummer Pat came walking the other direction. 
My eyes went wide and followed him as he walked past. My head turned a complete 180 degrees as he passed, snapping my neck and killing me instantly. 
Okay, not really, I went up and got a photo with him.
Baskerville 's avatar

Baskerville· 31 weeks ago

Got a picture taken with Barrowman and Doctors 5,6,7,8 in the same day. Managed to stutter out “Hello you guys are awesome thank you for doing the TV thing” or something along those lines. Then again, they did hug me. Incoherence is expected.

comic-2013-02-25-method-man.jpg

Method Man

comic-2013-02-25-method-man.jpg

Emerald City ComiCon 2013

Emerald City Comicon is THIS WEEKEND in Seattle. It is my favorite show of the year and I will be at the Blind Ferret Booth (#1106-1108) all weekend. Check out the new mini-banner/ price sheet I made for ECCC on my Tumblr.

I will have a lot of the stuff pictured in the ad below with me at the con, but what I really want is for YOU to have it. In return I want to have your dollars.

OK, I know this is crazy bonkers banana sauce, but hear me out Hollywood. How about for the next Oscars you hire a professional entertainer to host? Maybe someone who is used to being on stage in front of a lot of people. Maybe someone who doesn’t come off like he is reading his bad jokes for the very first time in front of 100 million people. Maybe, oh I dunno, a comedian? Or a seasoned veteran of the stage? Someone who isn’t constantly shouting, “I REALLY DON’T BELONG UP HERE!!!” with his eyebrows. The 2013 Oscars were a crap stabbing train wreck. Perhaps not quite as train wrecky has last years “Which host has greater contempt for the other?” contest, but the train was thoroughly and irrefutably wrecked.

Seth MacFarlane has a fantastic voice, and he’s managed to become the highest paid comedy writer in history (despite having relied on the same 7 jokes for the last 15 years), but Oscar host is a job he is in no way qualified for. His subpar hosting performance could have been saved by some top notch writing, but they seem to have gone instead with NO writing. I found myself staring at nearly every bit and bit of banter with the face I usually reserve for Five Gum commercials. A sort sideway eye-SQUONK that says, “I know what all of these things are individually, but when you put them together in this way, I suffer complete cognitive disconnect from whatever emotions you may have intended to evoke, or message you were attempting to relay.” Did anyone have any idea what the dudes from The Avengers were talking about? If the real Avengers were that unrehearsed and disorganized, you know who would be hosting the Oscars? MOTHER FUCKING THANOS. That’s who.

When Daniel Day-Lewis took the stage to accept his Best Actor Award (which at this point really shouldn’t be applied to any particular film since he is just THE. BEST. ACTOR.) he seemed to either have rehearsed his jokes so much that they seemed completely off the cuff and hilariously perfect or HE’S JUST THAT GOD DAMN WONDERFUL. My vote is for the latter. I was really hoping D-Day-Lew would have just decked MacFarlane right in the beady black shark eyes and, as his foe lay gobsmacked on the floor, let out a John Lovitz-esque, “ACTING!”

COMMENTERS: Speaking of method acting, or The Method, as purveyors of douchebaggery might call it, have you ever kept up a falsehood for so long that it eventually became true? For instance, did you ever pretend to like something (say to impress a potential partner) that you eventually really liked it, or at least knew so much about it that you were nearly an expert?

At my last real job, one of the requirements during the interview was than I be proficient in Photoshop (a particular proficiency that I totally lacked, despite what my resume might have said). I had to fake it nearly every day with tricks like the “I know how I would do it, but how would YOU do it?” technique or the “Yeah, I can do that [QUICK GO WATCH A TUTORIAL ON YOUTUBE]” process. I did this so much so  that I did eventually become somewhat of a Photoshop expert. Now it’s the main medium I work in for my comic-maker job.