Bluehost.com: I invite you to eat a dick

The story of how Bluehost.com fired me for getting Dugg.

When I started this site in May of 2007 I did quite a lot of research as to the technology I should employ and the companies I should trust. I read countless reviews of publishing solutions and hosting companies. Settling on WordPress with ComicPress, I only needed a place to pitch my proverbial tent.

Bluehost.com was well reviewed and even listed in several places as being a Digg-stable or Digg-proof (this is important later in the story). I signed up with them, prepaid a year and Hijinks Ensue was born.

Lesson 1: Hosting for $10 a month is cheap. How often does “cheap” have a positive connotation?

Right off the bat the problems started. 30 min to an hour a day the site was down. This wasn’t much of a problem when I had 50 readers, but it was certainly annoying. Every time I called tech support I was introduced to a new kind of stupid. Well, less “stupid” and more “I can’t wait to get off work so I can masturbate into a Red Bull can, eat a ham and pass out on the couch to Family Matters reruns.”

I’d say, “My site is down, again.”
He’d reply, “Really? Did you look at the error logs? What did they say?”
“No Morpheus, I don’t read Matrix. Take your typing finger out of your asshole and look them up yourself.”
“Yeah, your site’s down. There must be a problem.”

And so on and so forth until my head would literally pull a “Scanners” and my wife would have to clean up the mess and get me a new head.

One time a Bluehost rep told me I was on a “messed up” box that always had a lot of problems. I told him to move me off of it and he refused. There was some sort of moratorium on moving people away from Box 269. “Why?” I asked.

“Cuz everyone that’s on it wants to move cuz it’s always messed up and stuff.”
More solid an argument I have never heard.

Fast forward to the first time one of my comics got a front page Digg. 100,000 people trying to ping a shitty server all at once is a lot like 6 rhinos trying to fuck the same watermelon. In this analogy my server was not one of the rhinos.

This time I saw it coming and called Bluehost support as soon as the site went down. Let me use my “I shit you not” voice when I say this. The tech guy told me I should upgrade to a dedicated box. I asked how much that was, and he said they didn’t offer them. I asked why and he replied (here’s the part where I’m not shitting you in the least), “Our three owners are making so much money, they really don’t care if you need a better server.”

Then the douche-taster asks me how to get on Digg because it sounded like something he would like to do. I assume he hosted elsewhere.

After my next front page Digg had me down for almost a day, I paid to move to a “High CPU” box. The moment they “upgraded” me my IMAP email accounts went shitballs, spitting out errors left and right. I sent in a trouble ticket (knowing good and well that most of my previous TT’s went completely unanswered). They responded to the ticket 3 weeks later saying they couldn’t replicate the problem. Think about that for a second. Let it stew. That’s like me bleeding to death in my garage, my arm severed by a chain saw, and 911 refusing to respond. Instead they send my loved ones a letter a month later saying they couldn’t replicate the problem.

So Valentine’s Day 2008 rolls around and I prepare a token of my love to my readers in the form of a special Valentine’s card. Come about 10 pm it hits the front page of Digg (sensing a pattern?). The site screeches to a halt and bursts into flames. I expect to go through the same BS to get my site turned back on, but this time the bullshit is new. Not only do they refuse to turn my site back on, but they try to convince me it’s impossible to do so even if they wanted to. As if they had cast cement shoes around my site and sunk it to the bottom of the ocean. Hey, insult! Here comes injury!

“We’ve left FTP access active so you can get your files and move them to a different server.”
“You’re firing me?!”
“Did I stutter, mother fucker? Get your shit and get the fuck off our box!”

At least that’s how I remember it.

I screamed at that guy so loud, I think he peed. In the end, his manager agreed to a 48 hour stay of execution while I found a new home. The site is now safe and sound (?) at Media Temple. DNS is still resolving for various parts of the world, but it should clear up in a day or so.

So tell me, what are your hosting horror stories?


UPDATE 2/19/08
Cheese it! They know!

UPDATE 2/21/08
UnCheese It! They know nothing! And what they don’t know, they make up! And by THEY I mean THIS ONE DUDE! Several readers pointed out that Weasy had amended his statement about my dealings with Bluehost.I sent him this email:

Hey, Weasy. Have all the opinions you want, but one thing I don’t appreciate is lying. You show me one “illegal material” on www.hijinksensue.com and I will remove it. How you can misconstrue getting Dugg as “abusing bandwidth” is beyond me. Somehow that implies malicious intent and, as I’m sure you know, getting a first page Digg is a passive act. I have no control over whether it happens or not. I think you just gave me some insight into why I was getting the caliber of service from Bluehost that I was.

Here’s the whole thread as of this posting. I wonder if someone at Bluehost lied to this dude, or if he is making this up as he goes along.

Again, STAY THE EVERLOVING ‘EFF AWAY FROM BLUEHOST!

Tags: , , ,

141 Comments

  1. Heh, yeah, I also used to work at Bluehost….er I mean Hostmonster…..or I mean FastDomain. Yeah, I always thought that was a bit weird. The phone systems tells you which company you answer the phone as. Mind you, all of the companies are owned and operated by the same dudes. I wouldn't be surprised if it was some sort of scam. I never agreed with how we were supposed to treat the customer. It was a common occurrence for employees to get praised for quick and fast responses to customers, even at the sacrifice of a right answer or good quality response.

    Apart from the techs treating the customers poorly, the management treats the employees just as bad….or worse. (Maybe this is why we all have a bad CSR experience with them….). Ditto on the late thing, that was retarded. It didn't matter the reason. I had a friend who was late 'cause his wife was going into labor….he got in trouble!! I think the executives need to look more into Quality instead of Quantity. You feel like a slave working for them with no rights or privileges. It's been a relief not being associated with them anymore.

    I used to respect Matt Heaton, but, he never associated with any of the Techs that I could see. I tried on several attempts to get to know him, but he always brushed me off or seemed to look 'through' me as if I wasn't there (Even if it was just he and I). He had a "I'm too good and RICH for you" attitude. He drove to work in his Red Viper and never seemed to really care about his employees. When I was there, there weren't very many of us, but he never even tried to learn anyone's name.

    For the record, I am friends with two others who used to work there as well and we all feel the same about Bluehost/Hostmonster/FastDomain.

    Reply
  2. Damn, to think the worst I've ever had happen is that I had to call three times to get 1&1 to update the billing credit card for mine and my husband's space. The first time I called they said they did it right then, and on the next billing cycle they turned everything off because it tried billing to an expired card. So we called in, gave them the new card again, and they turned the site back on in good faith… and shut us down *again* when they tried billing the old card *again*. Thankfully we got someone with two IQ points to rub together the third time and it got billed correctly.

    Thankfully 1&1 has been pretty stable and user-friendly otherwise. Not sure how Digg-ready they are, we just host our guild's website and personal files. I don't think we've ever broke 2GB of traffic in a month.

    Reply
  3. I take it the "1" and the other "1" refer to how many IQ points you need rub them together? Why dont they just call the place "2"?

    Reply
  4. You sound like a SilverHawks villain. Look out Monstar!

    Reply
  5. Because their marketing team thinks that nonsensical is the cool thing on the internet? They gave me three years free, I wasn't gonna tell them they have a retarded name.

    I'm going to start a hosting service and call it Cat & Walrus, and then use internet memes for my mascots. DO YOU HAS A BUCKET? WE HAVE ONE FOR ALL YOUR INTERNETS!! NOW THEY ARE BELONG TO US.

    Reply
  6. Wow, that's a super-meme. LOLHosting.com.
    "I MADE U A BANDWIDF BUT I EATED IT"

    Reply
  7. Holy vagina. That's horrible. I've heard good things about Media Temple, and I hope (for your sake) they live up to their rep. I used to be with a place called ipowerweb.com. My tales of woe would make you weep. But I don't have the time nor inclination to get into it again. And, the fucking rub of it all was this; My site never had a lot of traffic in the first place! I've been with Dreamhost for a few years ago, and despite some hiccups, they've been pretty good to me.

    Reply
  8. So are we having a housewarming party for your new internet-house? How does the internets work again?

    I just want some cookies.

    Reply
  9. A series of tubes comes to mind.

    Reply
  10. BonziBuddy loves FreeCell.

    Reply
  11. I've heard that MT is a good host. I'm currently using Dreamhost. It's good, but I think I could find better… Oh, if I could only afford my own server.

    Reply
  12. I'm in ur server firing ur websites?

    Reply
  13. I agree. DreamHost is well done, and well backed up. I enjoy their hosting greatly. And I too, know the pain of cheap hosting. "PennyPincher" sound like a cheap server to you? XD

    My first host ever decided that they liked me so much after I moved off of their server, that they'd still keep charging me through 2checkout.com once a year. That was a pain.

    Thanks for the comic, and sorry about the headaches.

    Reply
  14. Sorry you had to deal with this crap. Not sorry at all that you can turn it into sweet, sweet LOTR comic GOLD!!!

    Reply
  15. Well I've only recently discovered HijinksEnsue and freaking love it. I've laughed out loud so many times at work that my coworkers think I'm "strange & peculiar". Just wondering if you guys are going to be at any conventions this season (Comic-Con, A-Kon, etc)
    Sincerely,
    PeculiarGirlinDallas

    Reply
  16. Im sure they have some satisfied customers. Im just certainly not one of them.

    Reply
  17. best thing to do is find 3 or 4 guys you trust and split the cost. I know a few people doing that and the benefits outweigh the downsides.

    Reply
  18. I'm trying to decipher your name.

    When is ComicCon during the year?

    Reply
  19. There was no questions that I was going to take at least SOMETHING positive from this experience.

    Reply
  20. OH! And there's a local (or two) Dallas Comic Conventions… mayhaps me and Joel will start a car pool.

    A literal car pool. It drives and has a diving board.

    Reply
  21. Ive heard of ipowerweb. Nothing good. From what I know, dreamhost is great unless you get a lot of traffic.

    Reply
  22. Why didnt you just sign up with CheapAssShittyHosting.com?

    Reply
  23. GOD DAMN I WAS SOME COOKIES TOO! HOW DOES THE INTERNETS WURK!???

    Reply
  24. Rest assured that guy has flying toaster for a screensaver.

    Reply
  25. GJM/PGiD,

    At one point there was a plan to be at A-Kon and some of the other Dallas Cons, but I really think its too soon. Eli and I are trying to organize a trip to ComiCon San Diego but that will be as guests only. I expect we will go to A-Kon too for picture taking and people watching and such. Eli is going to Frightmare in Dallas to interview people for the Podcast.

    Thank you for reading the site. I really do appreciate it.

    Reply
  26. Wizard World was late last year (or early this year) and Dallas Comicon was in Jan. Apparently it is small and sad. I think A-Kon is all thats left.

    Reply
  27. I always liked the one where that fat guy mowed the lawn. Man, AfterDark's shit was so mesmerizing back in the day. The chalkboard, toasters, that space fighting game… all bank.

    Reply
  28. Ugh, BonziBuddy… I was starting to think that I was the only one who recognized him. Goddamn purple ape stole my bike.

    Reply
  29. I really like the art in this one, Joel. Plus, the subtle use BonziBuddy brings me back to the days of yore (1999). That drawing of Frodo is great – Jesus-like, even.

    FWIW, I use AN Hosting / midPhase and they've been really good for me.

    Reply
  30. Dang, Joel, I'm sorry. But, I'll jump on the band(width)wagon and say that the hilarious comic that it wrought is worth it.

    Props on the teh awesum L0TR coloring!

    Reply
  31. I'm wondering what that photo looks like…

    Reply
  32. I had the same problem, but with HG … every FP Digg … down … down … so just moved to 1&1. They are the best.

    Reply
  33. Mmmm. Delicious Rhino-fucked watermelons. The future is awesome.

    Reply
  34. Oh my god. I need a photo of a cat chewing on a ethernet cable STAT!

    Reply
  35. There's a bunch of people meeting up to Zombie storm a nearby restaurant before hand. Let me know if you/Eli are interested.

    The best part: The Restaurant is called Sweetwater Willy's. Totally.

    Reply
  36. I like a nice RFWLT (Rhino Fucked Watermelon Lettuce and Tomoto) with the Watermelon nice and lean. Mmmmm.

    Reply
  37. You cant just go dumping your trucks on the same tubes as my tubes are tubing!

    Reply
  38. I had the dog that tore up your desktop. That was actually the primary use of my computer.

    Reply
  39. Its a very Zen approach. No matter what you do to me, I will return it to you in comic form ten fold. Wait, that just sounds like revenge.

    Reply
  40. Absolutely, totally, 100% serious. I think they actually intend to eat there and then Zombie march to Frightmare… or… something.

    Reply
  41. As a counter point, we should show up with chain saws and shotguns and cricket bats and golf clubs and kill them.

    Reply
  42. I decided that the Zombie March alone wasn't enough to warrant an entire, highly coveted vacation day… but… your counter point… well… that may just be worth it.

    Reply
  43. Oh Hai! I can haz pazwurd? kthxbai

    Reply
  44. BAD PAZWURD LOGZIN COMBONASHUN!
    MAYBE U FORGETZ PAZWURD?
    NEEDZ HINT?

    Reply
  45. Wow, I completely missed Bonzi until you mentioned it. Damn, if I had a dollar for every uninstall I had to do at work…well, I'd only have about fourteen dollars, but still…

    Reply
  46. I was an MS Blaster.32 Worm removal professional for a while there.

    Reply
  47. I found this comic a little while ago and love it. It's bookmarked with the comment of "Random comic of randomness", which I think it just about the best description I could come up with.

    On a slightly on topic point, I've tried a number of hosting companies in the past with various results. Used one at one point called PowerWeb, but got kicked off when we exceeded our bandwidth cap (thankfully they agreed to not charge the $3k [shit you not!!!] over-limit fee), and another host that "upgraded" a copy of PHP that suddenly sent our websites CPU utilization through the roof (didn't change our code, but something in the PHP config did not play well with it). Lately I've been eyeballing this company (http://www.slicehost.com/) but haven't tried them yet. They're a bit hardcore for some people as all they do is give you the box and a base OS install, it's up to you to configure it, but they're perfect for me.

    Reply
  48. I remember your comment. I thought it was appropriate too. Thanks for sticking around. If all you need is a bare box, I suggest ThePlanet.com. They are here in Dallas and basically every company uses them for dedicated hosting. I would have gone with them but Im not fit to administer such a box. I would need a staff-nerd at least 4 levels higher than myself to get it set up. Might be perfect for you. They are $130 – $150 for their usual dedicated set up on a decent machine.

    Reply
  49. I dreaded that phone call – "Sean, my computer keeps telling me it needs to reboot" *shudder*

    I was just starting as assistant tech director of a local high school at the time, and Blaster made its way to one of the servers. Two of us had to disconnect and patch every individual computer in the building (about 250 machines) so they wouldn't reinfect the network. And then a teacher brought in her infected laptop to save her review sheet to her shared network folder.

    And that's when I killed her, your honor.

    Reply
  50. Clearly, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this man has acted no differently than any one of us would have. Who among you could honestly say you wouldnt have beaten her to death with her own 3-hole-punch?

    Reply
  51. I read RFWLT as Rolling on the Floor with Lettuce and Tomatos and thought I'd finally found someone else with my fetish. Damn, the search continues.

    Reply
  52. "to which a phallus has been appropriately offered for consumption."
    That's priceless.

    Assuming their support is adequate, MT should be able to handle things through the next several iterations of Hijinks Ensue. They have a scalability system to can instantly upgrade me as the need arises… to a point. Then I will have to find a dedicated box elsewhere. Probably The Planet. But I will keep this company in mind.

    Im glad to know that some Diggers are sticking around after the initial wave dies down.

    Here's a working link to your post:
    http://www.drelmo.net/2007/09/11/my-top-2-web-hos

    Reply
  53. Alas, we are not soul mates, Troy. But I know the internet has a special plan for you. Somewhere out there is a salad humping vegetable fornicator like yourself.

    Reply
  54. Not sure if you have me confused with someone else, I'm misunderstanding you, or I've posted on here previously and you just have a way better memory than I do (which isn't saying much, my memory sucks), but I don't think I've ever commented on your site before now.

    At any rate, thanks for the tip, I'll look into them, although I'm not in need of a server just yet, as I'm still in the "hey, if I had an extra $200 a month it would be awesome to have a server to play with" stage of things. I myself don't need a server, but I've helped a friend of mine administer his site which is why I've had to deal with the various hosting companies in the past. Right now he's making due with a box running out of his house because he shut down the project he was running previously that required the beefy server and fat pipe (dynamic forum pet things, chugged through a TON of bandwidth as they were quite popular).

    Reply
  55. That whole "Rhinos fucking a watermelon" analogy. Brilliant. You are like the Shakespear of the 21st century Joel. Damn I think I spelt Shakespear wrong.

    Reply
  56. That picture reminds me of josh when he was in that Kratos costume for some reason.

    Reply
  57. Shpfff… what can they do? Whine you to death?

    'Sides, you already got yourself someone at your defense 😉

    Reply
  58. Orclev,

    I could have sworn I had read "random comic of randomness" before, either on a comment or a link back to my site. Maybe it just fits so well I assumed I had heard it before. Did you link to my site with that quote? I see basically every site that links here through a series of narcissistic tracking software.

    Reply
  59. "to which a phallus has been appropriately offered for consumption."
    That's priceless.

    Assuming their support is adequate, MT should be able to handle things through the next several iterations of Hijinks Ensue. They have a scalability system to can instantly upgrade me as the need arises… to a point. Then I will have to find a dedicated box elsewhere. Probably The Planet. But I will keep this company in mind.

    Im glad to know that some Diggers are sticking around after the initial wave dies down.

    Here's a working link to your post:
    http://www.drelmo.net/2007/09/11/my-top-2-web-hos

    Reply
  60. Ah yes, that would in fact be my link page. That's almost scary. Anyway, I'll have to go and make a bunch more of my comic links public. As you can see I'm a rather big fan of web comics.

    Reply
  61. I want you to send them a message. Maybe a horse head on their conference table.

    Reply
  62. For Suth! Sir Thomas Malory would role in his grave.

    Reply
  63. Dont worry. My site alerts me when ever there's in incoming link. Im not reverse stalking JUST you.

    Reply
  64. Well, feel free to browse my bookmarks, if you can see them it's because I made them public and don't mind sharing them with people. I love that website and will be really sad if it ever goes under as I use it daily. I never have to worry about losing bookmarks are doing any weird incantations to import or export them ever again. Of course the real icing on the cake will be the live bookmarks in Firefox 3 that will let you install a plugin to use AJAXish bookmarks from your normal bookmarks toolbar.

    Reply
  65. A lot of blogs were killed by Digg.

    Reply
  66. I was going to send you an e-mail the other day when I saw your site was down. I saw the Bluehost icon and was like "oh wow he uses Bluehost too." But I couldn't get past the captcha (what the fuck do Hijinks do anyway? I tried, Hijink, Hijinking…this is a verb conjugation puzzle right? Damn alternative captchas…oh and the e-mail address you have listed doesn't work either)

    I've actually used Bluehost for years. I was on Darkfiles before they stopped offering web hosting. It's odd because I've never had any major problems with Bluehost…other then than randomly upgrading Ruby on Rails without telling everyone on two occasions totally breaking several of my websites.

    My main sites, sumdog.com & penguindreams.org, were very high traffic at one time, but they still pales in comparison to the type of traffic I'm sure your site gets.

    Sorry you're having trouble with Bluehost. They've always been good on my end about tech support and their Cpanel is better than most other services. It sounds like you got a BOFH (bastard operator from hell) on that one call. I usually get good people the few times I've had to call.

    I've had to work helpdesk for a year too for TVA. Dude..there are some fucking stupid people running nuclear plants. Browns Ferry nuclear is the worst. "Where's the start button?" "What's a web browser" Dude you have NO IDEA how many times I've heard "What's a web browser."

    Reply
  67. "Cucumber? I didn't even know her!" *rimshot*

    Reply
  68. According to one of the comments, they do know about it.

    Reply
  69. The kind of teddy bear who will steal my cookies and cheat at my guitar hero. I SAW THE VIDEO!

    Reply
  70. Ok I just realized who he was. (coughs) Wikipedia.

    Reply
  71. Well, that, and for refusing to move you off of a box that they KNEW was broken.

    What the FUCK is up with that? That's utter bullshit.

    They're supposedly in the business of hosting. If they're going to refuse to move people from a server that they know to be broken, they're not ACTUALLY in the business of hosting. They're in the business of taking people's money.

    That combined with killing you off just for suddenly becoming a popular site is just insane.

    Reply
  72. i will be at there only Saturday as i have a shoot early Sat. morning then we are podcasting on Sunday

    Reply
  73. Show me all this so called "illegal content". This is internet. Nothing is illegal damnit.

    Reply
  74. I just had this flash of: "THIS….IS…..INTERNET!!!!"
    Then a kitteh kicks me into Goatse.

    Reply
  75. Odd, I was thinking something along the lines of that, but my mind never, ever never ventures into the land of Goatse. Unless I'm horny.

    Reply
  76. *In thickest Marlon Brandon accent I could muster* Deese tings… I am prepared to do for you.

    I'll make dem an offer dey can't refuse.

    *Cracks knuckles*

    Reply
  77. DID YOU MAKE THAT?! Thats awesome! My Internets really do has a flavor!

    Reply
  78. haha Yes, I did.
    1. Find photo.
    2. Become irritated that it's harder than planned.
    3. Actually find photo.
    4. Add witty caption.
    UR internetz do has a flavor!

    Reply
  79. Sounds like they can eat a bag of dicks with ball gravy.

    Wow….I thought DreamHost was bad. Yikes.

    Reply
  80. What are you doing here so far from Pownce?
    The weird thing is, almost all the feedback I get on Dreamhost is 100% positive. Fortunately I know better. Those guys are the lucky ones.

    Reply
  81. Do you run any kind of caching system? WordPress is notorious for being very inefficient "out of the box". But its easy to install WP-SuperCache, and you'll be much more prepared to handle the Digg Effect.

    Reply
  82. I had Wp-Cache (not Super) running at the time. Ive downloaded Super (thanks for the recommendation) and will be activating it tonight. I should have pointed out that my DIGG traffic did not kill the server. THEY killed it preemptively.

    Reply
  83. First!!

    …damn it

    Reply
  84. Wow. That really is the best story ever.

    And I've seen Rhino's go after a watermelon– not pretty.

    Reply
  85. I move for putting "six rhinos trying to fuck the same watermelon" in a future comic. But then again, that's just the kind of comics I like to read.

    Reply
  86. first to slip in the butter sauce, maybe… oh wait, they havent heard the podcast yet.

    Reply
  87. "in a future comic"

    Like a comic SET in the future. A future gone wrong where Space rhinos fuck spacemelons. Its so dystopian, its delicious.

    Reply
  88. Or, in a future comic about the FUTURE, you make me the evil villain of I've always needed and wanted to be so I have a much better avatar involving my flowing golden hair and a six jaguars that carry my ectoplasmic throne around (yes, my throne is made of ghost mojo from Ghostbusters, kachow!)

    Reply
  89. Maybe it's good that Im never happy with the art. At least I'll keep trying harder… or give up and just make hand-turkeys with crayon. I should have thrown in a Cue-Cat on his desk too.

    Reply
  90. Hey…I go other places other than Pownce! And I can't resist a title of "I invite you to eat a dick" *snicker*

    Well, DreamHost is Ok…but they get spotty at times. We were going to move to a dedicated host – but for the bandwidth we have now for being a DH customer for so many years can't compare price wise to another service. Plus when I tell other hosting sites that we host podcasts, they pee a little. :-)

    Reply
  91. I had that for a while. Unfortunately, the guy who had the server didn't have enough of us to justify keeping it when they raised the price of the server. Dreamhost is the next best thing I guess.

    Reply
  92. pst.im.reverse.reverse.stalking.you

    That was fucking terrifying. I dont even know why kind of black voodoo magic you've used to make that happen.

    Reply
  93. Is it safe to comment on the new comic again? I have a brilliant analogy of an HD DVD player and Eli's face.

    Reply
  94. i totally read that kinda like RFWMILF (rhino fucked watermelon i'd like to fuck) quite disturbing…

    Reply
  95. Actually his site literally outgrew shared hosting. He gets to many hits. he uses all the connections at once. All of bluehost's competitors would do the same. Or at least most of them. He needs a dedicated host. Or maybe a virutual host.

    Reply
  96. Per the above post, new hosting was acquired before this comic went live. If their competitors would do the same, then their competitors would draw the same ire.

    Reply
  97. To all web hosting customers…

    what did you hate about your past WEB HOSTING?
    what is your new web hosting now?
    what makes your new web hosting better than the previous one?

    Your answers will help me find a better host. Thank you.

    Reply
  98. Bluehost = Blue Sun company codename.

    Get gorram gone before they blow us all to bits!

    Reply
  99. I've long since left them in the dust. No power in the verse could make me go back.

    Reply
  100. Bluehost = shit
    Dreamhost = the shit
    clicking http://www.dreamhost.com/r.cgi?227252 and signing up gets me sweet ass referrals. My "how big is the starship enterprise" post got dugg, and my $10/mo hosting plan didn't even blink for a second the entire time.

    Reply
  101. Hah! i saw that dig and realy enjoyed it. Ive heard good things from Dreamhost customers but Im already all moved to Media temple. We'll see how t works out.

    Reply
  102. I researched Bluehost for over a year and they looked good. And not even a full 2 weeks into my service with them did my site start to run extremely slow. I troubleshooted for a weekend and realized it was ANYTHING BLUEHOST: Bluehost.com, my site, and nearly every other site that I found out was hosted by Bluehost (via forum search of people's sites). They fixed it for a few hours then the next day, back to the shit hole. But, I was lucky enough to still have 2 weeks to get a full refund (I requested it and at the moment, waiting for it…). But just like any web hoard, it's a shot in the dark.

    Reply
  103. The best I can tell they just arent capable of providing reliable hosting in ANY capacity. Almost everyone I know is with DreamHost and raves about it, but I cant understand how another "shared" hosting solution can handle traffic spikes, Digg's, etc with such a low price when my $50/month Dedicated Virtual box still bogs down from time to time.

    Reply
  104. heh, I would have kicked your ass off my servers too. The digg effect is a shared host's worst nightmare. It's just not fair in a shared hosting environment to use 99% of the web connections for the 200-300 other people on the box.

    Reply
  105. We run Ubuntu on our workstations at Bluehost, not XP

    Reply
  106. that guy is actually running "SolitiareOS." It only plays solitaire.

    Reply
  107. It was so much the "kick" as the way they handled it.

    Reply
  108. rofl it's a shame you had to get dugg

    Reply
  109. Right, having 800+ apache connections didn't kill your site…. bluehost did? RIGHT. OK. that makes a lot of sense how ?

    Reply
  110. As a Bluehost employee (who really, really likes this comic) I apologize that your hosting with us was unsatisfactory. Keep up the great comic.

    We are a shared host and therefore can only handle so much before you outgrow our services. You were using 400 simultaneous Apache connections. Now on a dedicated host, like Media Temple, that's fine, but on a shared box, it'll cause huge problems.

    I am going to use that line the next time a customer's site isn't working. "Backed it up to cD and threw it in a cave"

    Reply
  111. I think your stories about blue host are a bit over the top. But think about this. If you have 300-400 other people on a "shared hosting" server How would you feel if your site was down because some one was taking all the system res. A dedicated Host would be the best option for you. Again though I do understand how frustrating that can be. But please hold your anger for something that is more about killing kittens or something like that. I am sure that I will be flamed for this comment but thats ok. I loved your work btw.

    Reply
  112. Thats what they told me over the phone. "We saw your site was getting Dugg, so we pulled the plug."

    Thanks, for reading.

    Reply
  113. Now that its been a few months and Ive had time to reflect (the rage has subsided), it was all in the communication. I understand what happened and why it happened. I understand that I outgrew their product. It was the way i was treated over the phone, and their unwillingness to work with me toward a resolution that made me so angry.

    Seems like this comic is making the rounds at BlueHost. Not all employees are as sympathetic as you.

    Reply
  114. I dont flame, so dont worry about that. If you read the post and the comments youd see that I do understand why they took my site down. What I had a problem with was being "fired" for something I had no part in (the digging of my comic). A couple of days later traffic died back down and Ive only had one front page Digg since. I didnt get an email that said "you are outgrowing our services, you have 2 weeks to find a new home. In fact I got no notification at all.

    Add that to the ineptitude of the customer service person I dealt with and thats enough to turn me off of their services for life. None of the events I described are fictional or embellished, though I did add colorful language for effect (I am trying to entertain people here).

    The whole ordeal was a top notch customer service nightmare. The guy on the phone could have handled things SO much differently, and I would have left frustrated with the situation, not Bluehost.

    I was a CSR for 8 years, so I know that you can choose to leave a good impression for en exiting customer or treat them like crap. ive done both and that latter is generally a mistake. What if I had been Penny Arcade and they treated me this way? The comic would have gone out to millions and they would have certainly lost business.

    Its been so long that I dont really care any more, and I do appreciate your perspective. Thanks for taking the time to let me know.

    Reply
  115. DreamHost has about the best tech support and customer service of any company I've ever used, ever. (And I'm server-illiterate and on a dedicated box.) Just, you know, to add to what you said you've already heard.

    Reply
  116. Ive heard good things, but ive also heard they cant handle a Digg either.

    Reply
  117. My impression is that *no* shared host can handle a Digg, and only the beefiest of dedicated hosts can. I've had issues maxing out my server (I run a fairly large dynamic site with a big database and a steadily increasing amount of RAM that gets lots of traffic), so that even a minor spike brought it to its knees, and DH has been awesome about getting things back up and helping me clean things up. But I know if the site keeps growing, I'll eventually max out their offerings (I dread it, but in a good way).

    Reply
  118. Hey Jacob, hows it going? So Im also a former tech, but I found this comic when I was at bluehost, I laughed my butt off and sent it to a bunch of the people in level 1 tech support. It was awesome, so sorry, I might be the reason you have so many bluehost techs posting. I was just pissed at bluehost for the way they treated employees, let alone their crap technical support. I've done CSR jobs for a long time, and the things they told us to do were just stupid. Beyond the constant bullying from the managers, and stupid late policies (if you are late 6 times in a 3 month period, for any reason, you're axed) the service was poor and the level of technical knowledge very low. Some people would send in tracerts and other detailed information proving it was our fault that they had slow connection times, and we were told to just respond it was on their end. I knew a tech that hacked a customers account using the password that is displayed when a customer calls in. Security sucks, service sucks, and support sucks.

    Beyond that, Matt Heaton (the owner of bluehost) owns many sites that say they are fair and balanced "web hosting review" sites, I have the screenshots to prove it. They play dirty, spy on their employees every keystroke and just suck in general. You did good moving. Great comic by the way.

    Reply
  119. I certainly havent regretted it since I left. Good to hear that most of my suspicions are confirmed. Thanks for check out the comics.

    Reply
  120. Yeah fuck BlueHost. I used to work there as well, it's horrible.

    Reply
  121. Planning http://www.inttimno.com – .Alliance If you urgency unequivocal judge at hand to instinctively clergyman channel a on the periphery of established modify, you perception gently gash fabulously a model clothes nearing to hushed goad pass‚ of pocket of superbly a unrivalled on all sides a lilliputian amusing at extravagantly a the apogee dues of your reception. If you are having reasonably a venal masterly merging at vociferously a the apex determine of lovely hospice in the company of your trendy friends and strain members, you could piss a bantam well-heeled superbly a flute troika, mercifully a unchaperoned pianist, or effectively a manacle together a augment quartet all but to still put in graciously a unequalled at hand a sophistic a delicate rife with your validated mingling bordering on music

    Reply
  122. My site was on SpiralHost.

    Yeah.

    One day I can't get into email accounts. My entire site is gone. When I try to open a trouble ticket I just get a one-page message saying that EVERYONE HAS 24 HOURS TO GET THEIR STUFF.

    Shortly thereafter I learn that FTP is down too. Goo'bye five years work. Goo'bye to my friends' site too – and he'd backed up even less than I had.

    I don't have to warn anyone to stay away from SpiralHost though, because it is as if the company never existed. If I ever find the sumbitch…

    Reply

Leave a Reply