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EMAIL JOEL
A soul as black as eyeliner
I saw Spider-Man 3 on opening weekend. It has since made god-caliber moneys. Somewhere in the neighborhood of a gabillion-fillion if I’m not mistaken. The effects were more believable than the previous two. The CG Peter was less “burley brawl” this time around. That being said, the movie as a whole left me empty, or possibly hungry. The performances were stalled and uninteresting, and the story served only to facilitate the gaps between aerial battles (fun to watch though they were). I took great pleasure in the fact that the shift from “Sweet Lovable Hero Peter” to “Gropey Horny Asshole Peter” was illustrated with a determined downward drag of the comb.
As I expected, they got Venom all wrong (casting and execution). If I had to pick a “That 70′s show” alumnus to play Eddie Brock, it would have been Kurtwood Smith. Also, I don’t remember Harry Osbourne’s Green Goblin being a character from SSX Tricky. They should have made him the dude from Excite Bike. He’d spend the whole movie creating a custom track, only to find that after hours of work it was impossible to ride due to the overuse of ramps.
Update 5/17/07
Apparently Rolling Stone and 25% of Fall Out Boy agree with my assessment.
Tags: emo, movies, spiderman 3, star trek
Related posts
August 27th, 2007 at 10:38 pm
LOL! Emo haircut! I love it.
BTW, the teen that looks like Mr. Spock in the last panel looks kinda like my ex…. :p
September 2nd, 2007 at 11:27 pm
@AJ
I guess, if pointy ears are your thing. What can I say?
December 14th, 2007 at 7:37 pm
I spent way too much of my spider-cents on that crap. But the effects were cool. So, I need someone to edit it down to an hour and re-release it. Like the Transformers. If a 30 minute edit of that film came out I’d watch it.
December 17th, 2007 at 9:58 am
I wondered aloud this weekend to my wife if the Emo movement is actually in some way related to Emo Phillips. He rocked the short, black hair before it was hip. He could also rock a woman’s vest like no one since Ellen and Rosie when they did stand-up. Don’t get me started on Paula Poundstone. Don’t even get me started.
September 22nd, 2008 at 9:59 am
Fucking hilarious man!
January 17th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
velour hoodie ftw
May 24th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
[...] EMAIL JOEL first [...]
June 26th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
Wait, was the new star trek movie announced when you made this?
DID YOU PREDICT THE FUTURE?!
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:37 am
Totally predicted it… though, it wasn't quite as emo, and it didn't involve old Kirk.
January 19th, 2010 at 3:17 pm
[...] JOEL first [...]
May 26th, 2010 at 6:02 pm
I wondered aloud this weekend to my wife if the Emo movement is actually in some way related to Emo Phillips. He rocked the short, black hair before it was hip. He could also rock a woman’s vest like no one since Ellen and Rosie when they did stand-up. Don’t get me started on Paula Poundstone. Don’t even get me started.
+1