Bantha’s In The Belfry

Ewok Stare T-Shirt Close Up

There are about 30 Ultimate Fancy Editions of HE Book 2 left and selling them ALL is super important in order for me to afford the full print run without having to go into the red. Order soon and you can still get your name in the book on the Fancy Bastard Wall of Fancy Fame. Once the final file goes to the printer (a few days, maybe more) that won’t be an option.

Just to clarify, when I say Midi-Chlorians I am, of course, referring to “Musical Instrument Digital Interface Chlorians.”

So either George Lucas recently Netflix’d Roland Emmerich’s 2012 and thought he was watching a documentary or he actually believes in the Mayan 2012ocalypse. Either way he’s a fool. A damned fool with a fleshy fanny pack strapped to his chin that he calls a neck. I assume it is either used to store nutrition for the long, harsh winters on Hoth or contains dozens of Admiral Ackbar action figures.

COMMENTERS: So what is Lucas up to? Is this just a ploy to sell a another special “Get It Before The End Of Days” edition of Star Wars on Blu-Ray? If he really does believe this horsecockery, what is his escape plan? Carbon freeze to ride out doomsday? Escape to Dagobah? Post your theories below!

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18 Comments

  1. Lucas is clearly planning on surviving by shrouding himself within the remains of my childhood, which he has gutted like a Ton-Ton.

  2. Lucas will take the millions of our squandered dollars and he will construct the worlds largest Jedi memorial made of steel and our shattered hopes and dreams aka first edition copies of star wars four through six. It shall contain a large ornate statue of Lucas himself holding said films and devices to view them as well as a large clock counting down at his feet..survivors shall watch.. and it will be good.. And then in twenty two years the secret vault at his feet bursts open, revealing to what ever sort of flyman hybrids that inherited the new world the "first" three movies. All this because he has hope in humanity survivability, and he must do all in his power to ensure its people be gifted with enjoyable films, and have them tarnished years later in a hellish abomination of fish people and tiny bugs in your blood that let you lift rocks with your mind. Lucas himself of course would have long since ascended to his rightful place at The Dark Lord Cthulhu side as he brings misery and madness to our shattered world. For in the end there is no right or wrong.. No shooting of lizard men first, before they know what is going on.. Lucas knows only his dark lords call, and he demands a remake of the Ewok adventure movies.

  3. I think Lucas has strategically placed thousands of thermodetonators all around the world, which he will simultaneously detonate in 2012, thus ensuring the end of days.

  4. I can't fault him for casting Hayden. That is one pretty, pretty guy. Of course he got the awful romantic dialogue in CLONES, but George wrote it. Don't Order 66 the Messenger Droid!

    btw- I'm sure we'll soon see INDIANA JONES AND ONE OF THE NUMEROUS CALENDARS THAT THE MAYANS WROTE FOR AFTER 2012 THAT WINGNUTS CONVENIENTLY FORGET ABOUT OH AND MUTT IS A MAYAN PRINCE NOW FOR SOME REASON.

  5. Dude. Lucas-bashing got old after Episode I. If I could post a "haters gonna hate" macro I would.

    The guy is awesome. Deal with it.

  6. For the reals, if I can El Sinor Fuisiono working on the Deloreo working I would go back in time and shoot him after the release of Indy 3

  7. Admittedly, if I were a billionaire, I too would be throwing back my ewok sheets, and donning my Fett helmet and Hulk hands for the day. I only pretend to be sane because I'm poor.

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