Denver Comic Con 2014 Fancy Sketches

Denver Comic Con 2014 Fancy Sketches

Dearest Fancy Bastards, if you enjoy this comic, please check out my store, my shirts on Sharksplode, and my wife’s geeky jewelry on Etsy. It would help us out a great deal. Thanks for coming out to see me in Denver last weekend (even though you were actually...
Pornographique

Pornographique

This is a 100% true story about the time my good friend, David Willis, gave me a boner with his brain. Well, technically he drew the cards with his hands, so… yeah, he basically straight up gave me a handy. Looks, all I know is he had a brain and some hands and...
How To Find Your Star Wars Name

How To Find Your Star Wars Name

Please to enjoy this giant-ass Star Wars rant disguised as a comic or a chart or whatever. COMMENTERS: Please share your least favorite silly or overtly evil character names from fiction in the comments. I’ve been operating at a bit of a comic deficit  since I...
Emerald City Comicon 2014 Fancy Sketches

Emerald City Comicon 2014 Fancy Sketches

Oh sweet merciful crapbastards, Seattle, you are always so good to me. I am on an airplane (the kind in the sky) right now, so please enjoy these convention sketches in lieu of a comic update today. I had an amazing time with my wonderful friends and was, once again,...
SDCC 2013 Fancy Sketches

SDCC 2013 Fancy Sketches

Here are some sketches from San Diego Comic-Con. Enjoy them IF YOU DARE. I’ve barely begun to recover from last week, despite my tight regimen of sleeping 2 or 3 days for every day I’m awake and eating nothing but coffee and artificial sweetener. Please...
Phoenix Comicon 2013 Fancy Sketches Part 1

Phoenix Comicon 2013 Fancy Sketches Part 1

The Phoenix Phancy Bastards had some excellent sketch requests this year. Here’s part 1 of a 2 part collection of my favorites. Looks like Gallifrey Comicon might not be too far away since we just discovered Gallifrey. COMMENTERS: Speaking of Gallifrey Comicon,...
Calgary Expo 2013 Fancy Sketches

Calgary Expo 2013 Fancy Sketches

I have returned from North of The Wall with a bag full of Canadian “money.” While I recharge my batteries, please to enjoy a few of the fancy sketches I did for the Calgarian Fancy Bastards. Intense thanks to Keith for hosting me this weekend, driving me...
Emerald City Comicon 2013 Fancy Sketches

Emerald City Comicon 2013 Fancy Sketches

Despite being sick with a cold and feeling like a burlap sack full of gravel and crap all weekend, Emerald City Comicon was still (as always) a fantastically fun and rewarding experience. Any other show and I might have let my illness dampen my spirits but the...
While You Were Out

While You Were Out

Between the sky falling over Russia (or so they WANT you to believe), the Pope resigning (or so they WANT you to believe) and a cruise ship running out of gas and overflowing with poops (or so… no that shit totally legit happened), I’m sort of getting the...
The Neverending Backstory

The Neverending Backstory

I made a bunch of shirts and put them on the internet for to you buy. Wil Wheaton helped. I am not 100% opposed to Han Solo or Boba Fett origin stories, but of the Star Wars EU (novels, video games, comics, etc) has taught us anything, it’s that theirs quite...
Rad Brobot

Rad Brobot

Blind Ferret’s server got hacked, so the HE Store is down for now. Sharksplode is still fully functional. I did a two part interview with the United We Geek podcast. You can listen to part 1 right here! Adventures of the Gummi Bears was one of those 80’s...
Great Geekspectations

Great Geekspectations

“George Hurt You” shirts for men and ladies. I have tens, if not elevens of opinions about J.J. taking over Star Wars. Most of them are cautiously optimistic. I could so very easily write an essay about the pros and cons of this regime change, about J.J....
For Every Action There Is A Redaction

For Every Action There Is A Redaction

CRUISE FUNDRAISER UPDATE: 98/100 prints are sold!  Only 2 prints remain! I am expecting delivery of the prints any day now and they’ll start shipping as soon as they arrive. I made a new eBook/iBook! It’s called “Sorry I Ruined Your Book Vol....
Bridge Collapse

Bridge Collapse

UPDATE: The JCCC3 signed, numbered, limited print is up for sale!   Info about and holiday shipping deadlines for various HE-type merchandise IS HERE. Short Version: If you want something ( like HijiNKS ENSUE T-Shirts (also in Ladies Sizes), Books, A Lil’ Wil Wheaton...
With Age Comes Perspective

With Age Comes Perspective

3 New Shirts at @Sharksplode! Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey, Rival Smugglers and Might Club! Hey look at that! I didn’t do a Disney/Star Wars pop culture mashup. Maybe I (that ACTUAL me) is maturing in some way. Or perhaps (and certainly more likely) ALL OF THEM...
Rival Smugglers

Rival Smugglers

Alternate Title: The Smugglers Brothers NEW PRINT SIZES IN THE STORE! I might have some prints of this comic with me at SDCC. If you would like a print and you won’t be at SDCC, you can click the “Buy A Print” button beneath the comic [or click HERE]...
Dallas Comic Con 2012 Fancy Sketches

Dallas Comic Con 2012 Fancy Sketches

Dallas Comic Con and I have always been at odds. I resent it for being so close to my home and yet such a poorly organized, terribly mismanaged convention, and it resents me for being alive apparently. Don’t get me wrong, all of the fans I talked to (all...
Calgary Expo 2012 Fancy Photo Comic Part 2

Calgary Expo 2012 Fancy Photo Comic Part 2

Guys, I fully understand that we ARE going to be destroyed by a terror from beyond the stars. I’m OK with that. All I ask is that our destroyer be a cutey-wooty snuggley button of doom. I feel like it’s a reasonable request. Wil Wheaton and I got excited...
Star-Crossed

Star-Crossed

UPDATE: This comic is totally a shirt now!!!  Han And Chewie “I Know” shirts are live at Sharksplode! Seattle Fancy Bastards! I am coming for you this weekend! Read more HERE.  Notice how every other alien’s dialog is subtitled in Star Wars except...
Guest Comic By Lar deSouza

Guest Comic By Lar deSouza

Nothing says, “I bought you some stuff from the Internet,” like buying people stuff from the Internet.  JoCo Cruise Crazy II guest week starts now! I will be on a boat all week with about half of the Internet and a dozen or so of my close friends and at...
Something Strange And It Don’t Look Good

Something Strange And It Don’t Look Good

“George Hurt You” shirts are in the store!!! “Seriously! Who is that young ghost dude with the Sith-eating grin on his face? I’ve never seen him before in my life.” I know I typically dress up the HE characters for HE-ween, but since I...
The Weeping Fanboys

The Weeping Fanboys

Thanks for understanding guys. I am just swamped right now. There will be a proper new comic tomorrow. ~Joel COMMENTERS: I assume many of you bought the Star Wars Blu Rays. Feel free to express your opinions, positive, negative or neutral, in the comments. Tags: bbc,...
The Consummate Tweaker

The Consummate Tweaker

THE HIJINKS ENSUE STORE IS A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN BUY STUFF!!! I’m not even mad at George Lucas any more. He’s successfully divorced me from all personal ownership or warm feelings I had towards Star Wars and turned the franchise into this weird, abstract...
Baltimore Comic-Con 2011 Fancy Sketches

Baltimore Comic-Con 2011 Fancy Sketches

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this Three Wheaton Moon shirt. You can buy it! Then you can wear it! Only two steps to total geeky happiness? Sign me up! Baltimore comic-con was a blast, and not the kind where I get shot in the chest and die in my...
PROtest & CON

PROtest & CON

“The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic is here! San Diego Comic-Con is in a week! I will be with Ryan and Lar and Danielle at the Blind Ferret Booth in the Webcomic area. Booth...
TCAF 2011 Fancy Sketches Part 1

TCAF 2011 Fancy Sketches Part 1

Still decompressing from my trip to Toronto for TCAF 2011. If you missed part 1 of my TCAF sketches you can see it HERE [even if you didn’t miss it, I updated the coloring and added the alt-text so go check it out again]. Canada was kind to me, and I expect a...
Blu-Ray Harvest – Episode II: Rerelease Of The Jedi

Blu-Ray Harvest – Episode II: Rerelease Of The Jedi

TORONTO: I AM COMING FOR YOU! TCAF is this weekend! I will be at table 222 (with Topatoco) on the 2nd floor Saturday 5/7 and Sunday 5/8. I will have books 1 and 2 (and I will draw dumb things in them for you), stickers, buttons, prints (probably a “The Doctor Is...
Emerald City Comicon Fancy Sketches Part 2

Emerald City Comicon Fancy Sketches Part 2

The only geek greeting you’ll ever need! The Sci-Five! Get up on that Sci-Five shirt business! Emerald City Comicon is THE BEST show of the year. Part 2 of my blow-by-blow wrap up is below [Part 1 is HERE]. Lots of the links go to pictures from my various con...
Emerald City Comicon Fancy Sketches Part 1

Emerald City Comicon Fancy Sketches Part 1

The only geek greeting you’ll ever need! The Sci-Five! Get up on that Sci-Five shirt business! I must have said this 100 times over the course of the last weekend but Emerald City Comicon is THE BEST show of the year. In terms of what? Sales, fan interaction,...
Guest Comic By Ryan Young: Lightraver

Guest Comic By Ryan Young: Lightraver

AND MY AXE! MEEEEDLY MEEEEEDLY SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!! ALL NEW REDESIGNED “AND MY AXE” SHIRTS ARE IN THE STORE! NEW HE Podcast Episode 80: Medium Seabiscuit [or is it Sexbiscuit?] OMG EMERALD CITY COMICON IS THIS WEEKEND!!! It is by far my favorite show of the...
A Long Term Commitment

A Long Term Commitment

Team Edward [James Olmos] Shirts at Topatoco! NEW HE PODCAST [episode 78] IS HERE! Hours of extra podcast are HERE for Vault Subscribers. In case you weren’t nervous about the future of humanity as a whole, please know there are people [REAL ACTUAL PEOPLE] who...
IG-88 And The Stooges

IG-88 And The Stooges

LAST CHANCE FOR “KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY OVIPOSITOR SHIRTS”!!! They are only $15! They will never be printed again, so get ’em while you can. Some of the Fancy Bastards and I played a Twitter game Thursday night with the hashtag #StarWarsBands. Fun...
Bantha’s In The Belfry

Bantha’s In The Belfry

There are about 30 Ultimate Fancy Editions of HE Book 2 left and selling them ALL is super important in order for me to afford the full print run without having to go into the red. Order soon and you can still get your name in the book on the Fancy Bastard Wall of...
If Loving You Is Wrong… [Holiday Special Edition]

If Loving You Is Wrong… [Holiday Special Edition]

Everyone knows the only reason to create a work of art is so that you can return years later and make it worse by adding unnecessary bullshit to it, thus diluting its original creative intent and destroying whatever there was to enjoy about in the first place. Happy...
Of Draculas And Candy Corn

Of Draculas And Candy Corn

Happy Halloween! Please do not smash my jack-o-lantern or murder my pets! Here, take some candy to stifle your Satan-fueled rage! There is a new HijiNKS ENSUE Podcast. Episode 67 is ready to download for free. Vault subscribers can get the uncut version of the show...
The Magic Blaster Theory

The Magic Blaster Theory

NEW LoFiJINKS Podcast!!! [here] If you want to support HE, please READ THIS. Holyfuckballs, San Diego Comicon is in 2 weeks. I watched some of the revamped/ruined Original Trilogy on SpikeHD this week. Every time I see the Han/Greedo exchange I think about how there...
Blu-Ray Harvest

Blu-Ray Harvest

The Dallas Scifi Expo is this weekend SATURDAY AND SUNDAY!!! I will be sharing a table with Randy from Something*Positive so put on your Storm Trooper helmet and come say hi. I have on good authority a man called Jayne is going to be there. I’m posting this at a...
Emerald City Comicon

Emerald City Comicon

Emerald City Comicon, you have stolen my heart… and perhaps some of my bone marrow. This was by far the most fun (and most profitable) con I’ve ever done. I actually brought about half the books and shirts that I should have. I WILL be back next year for...
Conventional Wisdom

Conventional Wisdom

Dallas Comic Con was a blast! I met a bunch of local Fancy Bastards and hopefully brought a few more into the fold. Josh, Eli and Alex stopped buy on Saturday to help man the booth and make fun of people in poorly constructed costumes. When the average geek sees a...
Tales Of Inaccurate Wonderment

Tales Of Inaccurate Wonderment

“Now aren’t we ALL having more fun?” [@wilw submitted this comic to Reddit. Cross that one off my “geeky thing to accomplish before I die” list] This comic comes from an actual occurrence at an actual shopping man in actual America. The...
A Well-Reasoned Argument

A Well-Reasoned Argument

UPDATE: This comic was somehow turned into a shirt by space wizards with laser swords! CHECK IT OUT IN THE STORE! This idea has been stuck in my brain hole for a couple of months. I had to purge it lest I spend another night waking up in cold sweats screaming,...
In The Year 2000, In A Galaxy Far Far Away

In The Year 2000, In A Galaxy Far Far Away

Short post because today is my birthday: I thought the new Conan-powered Tonight Show was good. Leno is a hack. Jimmy Fallon is terrible. There are a few Conan-specific references in this one that many of  you probably won’t identify with. I started watching...
Episode VI: Return Of The Creative Accounting Practices

Episode VI: Return Of The Creative Accounting Practices

Lucas has a discreet taxidermist who stuffed and mounted all of the Ewoks. Apparently their outer coat of fur is easily removed with a naturally occurring zipper, but their inner “skin-layer” is more difficult. Also midgets don’t like being stuffed....
Recommended For Ages Youngling to Padawan

Recommended For Ages Youngling to Padawan

That actually was my name in KOTOR. Call me a heretic but I didn’t enjoy it. Turn based combat just doesn’t make any sense to me. The story was enthralling (certainly better than the prequels) but the game play fell flat for me. Two toys debuted at CES...
La Menace Fantôme

La Menace Fantôme

I don’t have much to say about the apparent coup d’état taking place in the Candian government right now. I only know what The Daily Show has told me. I honestly had no idea the Queen of England actually held any real power over Canada, but as soon as I...
I’m Going To See “The Clone Wars” Ziro Times

I’m Going To See “The Clone Wars” Ziro Times

It’s hard to call George Lucas a racist or a bigot becuase I get the impression he really has no idea what he’s doing. Remember those interviews a few years ago with Michael Jackson where you really started to believe that he had NO IDEA that he was, in...
An Offer He Can’t Refuse

An Offer He Can’t Refuse

Alternate title: “Meesa Makin’ Him An Offer Heesa Can’t Be Refusin’ ” The idea that the upcoming Star Wars TV series would be like “Deadwood meets The Sopranos ” does little else other than make me twitch. Not that I have...
If Loving You is Wrong…

If Loving You is Wrong…

Dear Readers, Here is my St. Valentine’s Day present to you: A Valentine’s card of today’s comic you print out, inscribe with proclamations of love and give to your sweet heart. Just don’t give this to your twin sibling. They might get the...
With apologies to the baby Jesus

With apologies to the baby Jesus

In closing out “ought and seven,” I wanted to give my readers (you lot) a present. This comic pretty much sums up what Christmas means to me. Family, and togetherness, Eli with beer, and Ameria, and Truthiness, and Tron, and LOL Cats and the dark side of...