A Barrage Of Clamorous Leakage

C2E2 IN CHICAGO IS THIS WEEKEND!!! I will be there with Randy [Something*Positive], Danielle [Girls With Slingshots] and David [Shortpacked & Dumbing Of Age]! Read more about it HERE.


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Here’s a comic that is based on events so true, that to deny them would be to deny the fountain of mucus that is my head. DO NOT DENY IT! I must have some sort of baby blackhole in my sinus cavity that connects to a parallel universe made up entirely of sneeze-based lifeforms. If that last few days are any indication, their entire snot armada has entered our realm and soon we will be building nose-shaped sarcophagi for them to inhabit as they enslave the people of earth. I was positive that I had contracted a con-bug from Emerald City Comicon, especially after hearing that David Willis caught bronchitis. Every time I turned around that weekend he was either spitting into my coffee, licking my food or injecting me with vials of his own blood. Weird guy, that one. Now, I’m starting to think that I wasn’t sick at all and my allergies have leveled up. They’re like a 7th level Chaotic Evil Pollen Ragweed Mage that only rolls 20’s.

I am feeling slightly better today, so hopefully I will only be slightly leaking by the time I leave for Chicago on Thursday. My goal is to give you at least 1 more regular HE comic before I leave, then 2 awesome guest comics, followed by a regular HE, and maybe a LoFi to round out the week. As usual, the monday after a con will probably feature a series of con-sketches.

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  1. Snot aliens taking over the planet? Sounds like a Syfy movie plot. Anyone have suggestions for a name for this movie?

  2. Wasn't there a joke in the Hitchhiker's Trilogy about an alien armada that misjudged the size of their fleet and wound up getting destroyed in a dog's nose?
    Maybe that happened to Joel, with his nasal invaders…are you sneezing out very, very tiny debris from an invasion fleet?

  3. I believe there is a word omission in the first panel. Josh should be saying: "Your head problem is making it impossible for me *to* fixate on my iPad 2," right? Thought you might want to know in a respectful, calm manner.

    Love this strip and the post, and I am looking forward to the other strips this week too. 🙂

  4. Same advice as for Willis, man: lots of caffeine and the hottest food you can stand. It also works great for allergies. Chug a jug of coffee and you'll sneeze like a dog in a perfume shop for a while once it hits, but after that you'll be flyin' high and breathin' easy. Hot enough food will get you weepin', and that flushes the allergens out so you can see straight again.

  5. I sympathise, I had a stomach bug last week and I couldn't work out where all the 'matter' my body was producing was coming from, even though I hadn't eaten for 2 days.
    There must be some seriously weird aliens out there.

    Oh, and TMI?

    Possibly, possibly.

  6. Hey now, there's a use for Josh's old iPad: snot guard/racket . If he swings just right, he might be able to whack the snot armada back up your nose and INTO YOUR BRAIN!

    (violent tendencies – me? Naaaaaaaa…)

  7. Let us sing the praises of ibuprofen. 800mgs should help take down a bit of the swelling if you've got the mucus trapped up there. Short of that, some nice horseradish might help clear things up temporarily. If you're feeling wealthy, could always go for some Claritin or Mucinex.

  8. You could always boil the roots of a Sasafrass tree, let a bullfrog soak in it, take that mixture and filter it through a seive of green moss from the north side of a slab of granite, sprinkle an offering to each of the four winds, then drink the remainder along with two aspirin. Worked for my Granny.

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