I’m Your DNSity. I Mean… Your Destiny.

My hosting woes are well documented. Even celebrated in some circles. All of that is in the past now that I have partnered with two intrepid Fancy Bastards to build a robust and reliable home for all things HijiNKS Ensue. Alex and Josh, both long time HE readers, approached me last year about helping me out with my server needs and, while I wanted to take them up on it immediately, the prospect of moving all my sites, domains, databases, etc seemed a little too daunting.

I’d finally had it up to here [gestures to my forehead] with Media Temple (not nearly as evil as dick-eating-Bluehost, just not a good fit for my needs and WAY too expensive for a very weak server), so I got Alex and Josh on the emails and we layed out a plan for Server Migrationpalooza ’09. I’ve spent the last 3 days elbow deep in file backups, database dumps (thanks, Daniel) and every other manner of terrifying hosting related thing you can imagine. I emerged from my data-hole about 12 minutes ago exhausted and almost entirely victorious.

Alex and Josh have a Web Design and .NET App development company called Infinistorm and also provide a free photo and file sharing service called File Hurricane. I strongly recommend both. These guys have walked me through every aspect of moving 5 databases, a handful of domains and sub domains and all sorts of issues that I wouldn’t have been able to deal with myself. They are geeks’ geeks to be sure.

I’m pretty excited about graduating to a “big boy pants” server. There are a few changes, but you really shouldn’t notice them.

The Forum is now HERE and the Store is now HERE. The Podcast will have a new home soon too. If you see any broken images or anything on the site that appears to not be working, please email me. It’s likely that I missed a few files during the transfer.

VAULT UPDATE: I’ll be posting the original (bad version) of the art for this comic and some early script ideas in RIGHT HERE in The Vault.

Monsters LLC, A Subsidiary Of Newscorp

FOX employees are called “Sadness Technicians.”

I guess it’s true that a tiger can’t change its stripes and a FOX can’t change its douchebaggery. Long story short, FOX is not going to air the 13th (and likely last ever) episode of “Dollhouse.” This news made fem-geek and “Dr. Horrible” star Felica Day sad, seeing as how she played a large-ish role in the episode.

FOX clarified that they only agreed to buy 13 episodes of Dollhouse (wait… 13 sounds and awful lot like 13), and they are included Joss Whedon‘s original pilot which they decided to scrap. Apparently Episode 12 caps off the season’s story arch nicely and Episode 13 was intended as a stand alone episode (remember when they did that at the end of Buffy Season 4? They defeated Adam, the big bad, then had an ep all about dreams) and although 20th Century Fox (not to be confused with FOX) produced the epsiode, FOX (not to be confused with a company that understands or respects its audience) has elected not to purchase it. Episode 13 [plot spoilers here] may or may not be on the eventual DVD/Blu-Ray release of “Dollhouse.”

A confused man once said, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…uh… can’t get fooled again.” So take those sage words to heart, FOX, you beheomoth of dick-holery. The geeks “uh… can’t be fooled again.” Do me a favor, though. Next time you do decide to create a show aimed at geeks, put it in the worst time slot available, market it poorly, air the episodes out of order then cancel it… leave Joss Whedon out of it.

I know I said I wasn’t really buying in to “Dollhouse,” due to the incredibly slow start. But it has really started to pick up in the last few eps and peak my interest. Part of the reason I was being so hard on it, is that I knew it wasn’t going to last. The less I allow myself to get attached, the easier it will be to watch FOX strangle the show with its own intestines.

MORE SCIFI GEEKERY/SADNESS!

Watch the finale of “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” tonight. It is also, likely to be the final episode ever. You can catch up on the story HERE.

A Left Turn At Albuquerque

J.J. Abrams must have some sort of geographical boner for places that start with “AUS,” because he debuted “Star Trek” in AUStralia a month before it’s US release (complete with a Wonkaesque Golden Ticket contest) and held a sneak preview in AUStin, TX. The Austin this was actually really cool. The fans thought they were showing up for “Wrath of Kahn” and a 10 minute sneak preview of “Star Trek.” Instead “the film broke” and Leonard Nimoy came out, bitched about the technical snafu then they showed the new film in its entirety. Harry Knowles was there and you can read his account HERE. You might want to bring a book because his review is LONG. I love what he does for the geek community in general but that dude can’t write a review without retelling his entire life. He’s kind of like a fatter, red-headed Dewey Cox that way.

I suppose if I get desperate I can travel down I-35, find one of the lucky Austinites, then tie them up in a mini storage unit and mind meld with him to get a taste of the movie. That kind of shit happens in Austin all the time. Also weed. Weed happens in Austin all the time.

I had a really hard time writing this comic, so I thought I would throw in some extra art juice to even it out. I felt like I’d already done a vegemite joke, but I couldn’t find it in the archives. Maybe it was a comment from a while back. I was also pretty sure I’d done a “The Core” joke before but then I realized the joke was on me… because I had seen “The Core.”

TREK reviews pour in from the Drafthouse screening!

The Perils Of Being Typecast

Thanks to Fancy Bastard @martintsang for suggesting “Air Bud” as the worst sappy bullshit family-style movie ever. All joking aside, “Watchmen’s” Jackie Earle Haley will probably make a terrific Freddy Krueger. I’m pretty sure that dude can already control your nightmares so they should save a ton on special effects.

Sorry for the super-late comic. Real life gets in the way of delicious internets some times.

Thanks to all the FB’s who kept me company on Ustream while I made this comic. Follow me on Twitter if you want to be alerted when things like that happen in the future.

Commenters: How about we recast more classic horror movies with current celebs? That sounds like a thing to do, doesn’t it? For bonus points, pick a family movie (a la “Air Bud”) and rescript it as a horror film. Beethoven = Kujo is the obvious first choice.

ALSO: Check out www.divingdragongames.com. Kalan Vazquez is a Fancy Bastard running his own version of “The Experiment” but with independent game development instead of comics/music. I wish him all the success in the world (but slightly less than I wish for myself…).

Weapon-Mex

Through the miracle of “Internet Magic(tm)” Josh and our friend Mikey saw “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” and agreed that the experience was worse than “X-Men 3: The Last Stand” and only slightly better than having a scorpion lay eggs in your eye. Based on the trailers, I thought the movie could go either way. It seemed equally likely of providing stupid-fun or stupid-stupid with no fun at all (as illustrated by the scorpion metaphor).

I’m sure we’ll talk more about the effect “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” had on Josh’s sensitive eye places on the Podcast (Episode 50 Live Tonight!).If you want to weigh in early, get-a-commentin’ and let us know what you thought (if you’ve seen it) or if you plan to see it at all.

MERCH UPDATE: No one bought the “Eh-Team” shirt, so it’s out of the Topatoco Store. I will make them available again, for those that missed the chance. I’ll be relaunching the HE store with Topatoco HE Shirts, my own shirts, and Comic prints (+books SOON!) some time next week. Until then, if you want to support The Experiment, picking up one of the other shirts from Topatoco would be a great idea. The better those designs do, the more likely I will be to add new designs in the future.

Here are relevant links for you to eat: