The Code

Get it now @ Sharksplode! People will be scanning your chest like freaking crazy! 

Wil Wheaton QR Code T-Shirt, The Code, @wilw, WilW, WWDN, Scannable Wil Wheaton Shirt

Seattle Fancy Bastards! I am probably getting rained on by your clouds right now! ECCC starts Friday! Read more HERE

Can you decipher the ancient wisdom of THE CODE? Can you unlock the secrets of this relic that predates humanity by 100 millennia, and was likely left for us by ancient aliens or somebody important like Hammurabi? I don’t know. Does your phone have one of those QR code scanner apps? Well then, sure. You probably can.

So go ahead and attempt to unlock the secrets hewn from a fragment of the shin bone of a 900 foot tall robot, scribed by a laser a billion light years away in ink made of dark matter. I bet you’ll be delighted when you do.

COMMENTERS: Did you know if you look at the Shroud Of Turin under a black light there’s a great recipe for garlic hummus? If you take every other letter in the Codex Gigas and the Louisiana purchase, give them numerical value and arrange them in a 9 x 9 grid you can play Sudoku with the ghost of Abraham Lincoln? You can! It’s weird, because Sudoku isn’t a competitive game, so you never know if it’s your turn or what. Please add your document/monument based Nic Cage-esque conspiracies to the comments. 

CHECK IT OUT: My daughter drew another Tiny Titan and it’s up on my TumblrThis time it was Wonder Girl. Super cute stuff.

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  1. The National Treasure movies have an amazing amount of absurd logic jumps. Seriously, they're worse than the original Batman TV series with Adam West and Burt Ward. Those were at least funny jumps in logic…a ballpoint banana anyone? National Treasure is like they're trying to teach lazy kids some vague form of U.S. history and crazy conspiracy theories all at once.

    • That was my favorite movie as a kid! I found the ever glorious Sean Bean because of it. Which then lead me to the flawed Boromir and the honorable Ned Stark. That movie helped me on my quest to become a better geek!

  2. Is it weird that I read the dialogue in the tone of a children's TV show, where they have weird expository dialogue to explain concepts to small children?

  3. Gerbils were only outlawed in California so that the legislature of the state properly fit into the hidden encryption codex gifted to humanity by our secret allies from a star system located near the constellation of Orion.

  4. I have never loved you and @wilw more than I do right now.

    ps Last year I wore a tshirt to Dragon*Con with a QR Code that showed the message, "Stop staring at my chest."

    • Seems like that would backfire, when even more con geeks then usual are wiping out their smart-phones to take pictures of your chest…

      • funny story – I didn't take into account the 'topography' issue, so scanning the code was difficult – it was an interesting conversation starter.

  5. I realized some time ago that Riker is Kirk spelled sideways and using that as a Star Trek Rosetta Stone discovered that Bert & Ernie spelled sideways is Tribbles, Tricorder spelled sideways is Commodore 64 and Wil Wheaton spelled sideways is Billy Mumy!!

  6. I actually scanned the QR in the comic (and got it to work….. eventually), before finding the better quality ones farther below. I love these things, though.

  7. Love it! 😀

    (Slight correction: it's "catacombs" and "Phoenician" [which wasn't written in cuneiform, but that's Nic Cage's mistake. Or rather the collective of infinite derp monkeys' that churn out the scripts for his movies].)

  8. National Treasure was pretty decent, but I question the Founding Fathers ability to create a complex hidden code like that when they couldnt even properly word the damn Constitution right so people wouldnt knife fight eachother over its meaning 300 years later.

  9. A close look at Nic Cage's junk (for those with strong stomachs only) presents you with a topographical map of the Schwarzwald (black forest). Really handy when you're lost in the Schwarzwald with naked Nic Cage.

    • "Really handy when you're lost in the Schwarzwald with naked Nic Cage. "

      Which for anyone who spends time with Mr. Cage, is an inevitable situation to end up in.

  10. Awesome, I had to get a different QR code reader app. Neoreader doesn't seem to like these with an image in the middle.

      • Release the bees, Joel! Also, it took a while to QR scan the code off the shirt picture (because scanning the strip gave me an error) & seeing Wheaton do that was priceless!

  11. I hope Nicolas Cage is regularly threatened with the prospect of a Wicker Man-esque hat of bees, and I hope it's the case because numerous directors over the years have found it's the only way to truly discipline the man.

    On the original topic, it's a well-known factlike statement that the… crap… I couldn't think of anything funny to say after utilizing the word "factlike"…

  12. I'm sure everybody's heard of this, but just in case:
    Route 66, of course, was simply laid atop the principal tunnel that the Aztecs used to cart gold to the east coast and then sail it down to the Caribbean, as they had anticipated the arrival of Europeans centuries before and planned to set them against their local rivals. The real, underlying, long-range plan was to find a way to get the Aztec's cocoa united, along with other ingredients, with cinnamon, then only found in India, to make delicious Mexican hot cocoa. It is widely believed, mistakenly, that the name Route 66 reflects the "golden ratio" of 66% cocoa powder to sugar and spices, while in fact it was the original Mormon name for the whole apparently Satanic scheme to tempt Joseph Smith from the path of righteousness (through the Rockies) by placing the ideal hot cocoa in his way.

  13. If you arrange the Hope Diamond, a red LED Laser, and the original Mayflower Compact in a secret chamber beneath the Forbidden City in China, a code will appear that will net you a free one topping medium pizza at any participating Domino's restaurant (Saturday's excluded).

  14. So let's say the time experiment you were conducting went… a little caca. I want to return to my own time, and to do that, it's very important I solve that image mystery up there. I can't really explain, but lives are in the balance, and when I ask my best friend Al about QR and Wil Wheaton, he says, "John de Lancie". I looked on the, but I don't have a cellular app iphone machine!

    Oh boy. Is there another way to decipher this riddle? If I don't, I may never return home.

  15. i have a much more pressing question how dod you make a QR code with an image in it
    i've only ever seen this once before but Really want to do it for my self

  16. Awkwardly, none of the online QR code readers that I was able to find are able to parse this image, or the one on the sharksplode web site.

    I present, for those who lack the ability to read QR codes mentally, the url:

    • Thank you! The only QR reading thingy I have is my 3DS. I can't even use things like Androids and iPhones, because my skin is less than ideally conductive. My dad used to tease me about it by handing me his iPhone to do simple tasks. =
      I don't THINK my BlackBerry has a QR thingy… I don't even know if or how to make its possible camera work. =(

  17. The image wouldn't scan on my phone, so after bringing the image in to Adobe Fireworks, cranking the contrast, using the want to remove the whitespace, then filling it with black while preserving transparency I came to the realization that I have way too much time on my hands.

    But, hey, at least I was able to scan it!

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