The Code

The Code

HOLY CRAPBASTARDS! ME AND WIL MADE “THE CODE” INTO A SHIRT!!! Get it now @ Sharksplode! People will be scanning your chest like freaking crazy!  Seattle Fancy Bastards! I am probably getting rained on by your clouds right now! ECCC starts Friday! Read more HERE.  Can you decipher the ancient wisdom of THE CODE? Can you unlock the secrets of this relic that predates humanity by 100 millennia, and was likely left for us by ancient aliens or somebody important like Hammurabi? I don’t know. Does your phone have one of those QR code scanner apps? Well then, sure. You probably can. So go ahead and attempt to unlock the secrets hewn from a fragment of the shin bone of a 900 foot tall robot, scribed by a laser a billion light years away in ink made of dark matter. I bet you’ll be delighted when you do. COMMENTERS: Did you know if you look at the Shroud Of Turin under a black light there’s a great recipe for garlic hummus? If you take every other letter in the Codex Gigas and the Louisiana purchase, give them numerical value and arrange them in a 9 x 9 grid you can play Sudoku with the ghost of Abraham Lincoln? You can! It’s weird, because Sudoku isn’t a competitive game, so you never know if it’s your turn or what. Please add your document/monument based Nic Cage-esque conspiracies to the comments.  CHECK IT OUT: My daughter drew another Tiny Titan and it’s up on my Tumblr. This time it was Wonder Girl. Super cute stuff. Tags: nic cage, qr code, tech, wil...
The Spirit Of Coincidence

The Spirit Of Coincidence

Pre-JocoCruiseCrazy Lo-Fi comics continue unabated! Or possibly unabashed! Or maybe unabridged. The closer I get to the cruise, the more useless my brain mind is go having. Do you ever get the feeling Nic Cage’s movies are less “planned out films” and more “impromptu documentaries?” Like he has all these problems and vices and bizarre situations he get himself into and the only way to exercise the demons from his life is to capture them on film. I’m suggesting that there wasn’t even a script for The Wicker Man, but rather Cage was running around on a island one weekend punching old ladies, stealing children’s bicycles and shoveling handfuls of bees into his mouth just as some quick minded film maker happened to catch it all. A bit of second unit shooting, some creative editing and BAM! Cage movie. Why should Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance be any different? Look at Nic Cage. That is a dude that spends probably 75% of his day almost to entirely on fire. Any director would be a fool NOT to follow him around with a camera for a few days on the off chance he started stealing 50 cars, breaking into an abandoned prison or trading faces with a closeted Scientologist. The ONLY reason I would ever consider seeing the sequel to Ghost Rider (a movie less “terrible” than it was “just plain boring”) is that it was directed by the duo behind Cranks 1 and 2. These guys seems to know what they are doing when it comes to over the top, “did I actually just see that?” action movies. They make no...
Wheaton Comic Dare: Unwatchable At Any Speed

Wheaton Comic Dare: Unwatchable At Any Speed

Team Edward [James Olmos] Shirts at Topatoco! NEW HE PODCAST [episode 78] IS HERE! Hours of extra podcast are HERE for Vault Subscribers. New Lo-FiJINKS comic posted late last night! Driving back to Dallas from Austin today so colors and what not will be finished this evening. UPDATE: Refresh as hard as you can to see the finished comic. Wheaton threw down another comic dare challenge and, as always, I accepted. When will you learn not to step to these mad comicing skills, Wheaton? When? WHEEEEEAAAAATONNNNNNNN! Having seen the trailer for Drive Angry 1: Too Driving Too Angry, I got the impression that Nic Cage escaped hell to rescue his daughter, who was the slutty blond played by Amber Heard that he was driving so very angry with. Then I got the distinct impression they wanted to have sex with each other. THEN I saw the full trailer and realized she was just some road cooz along for the ride. Whatever. This movie looks banana-tits insane. Drive Angry director explains why Satan’s right-hand man is an accountant Watch Nic Cage have gunfight sex in this insane Drive Angry clip [NSFW] The Best Parts of ‘Drive Angry‘ COMMENTERS: What’s your favorite/least favorite crazy/sane Nic Cage performance and why? Also, please create subtitles for the inevitable sequels to Drive Angry: Drive Momma From The Train. Thanks to @SpringHeeledJak for suggesting the Hindenburg kite. Tags: celebrities, drive angry, movies, nic cage, wheaton comic dares, wil...
Brother, Can You Spare 50 Million Dimes

Brother, Can You Spare 50 Million Dimes

Don’t have a lot of time to post with… words… and…. So here’s the facts: Nic Cage owes a metric shit ton of money to the IRS and Johnny Depp stepped in to foot the bill. That’s a Hollywood bromance if there ever was one. BIG FUN NEWS!!! I will be a guest at the Dragon Lair Webcomics Weekend Rampage December 12-13 in Austin, TX with Jeph, Danielle, Kurtz, Randy and more! From what I know it’s just going to be a giant webcomics meat meet and greet for 2 days with extra awesome and a dash of good times. Ever since Wil Wheaton tweeted about and bought the “Holodeck Is For Porn” shirt, they’ve been selling rather well (for the first time). Oh, you don’t know about it? Maybe you should buy one and be one of the cool kids. Tags: celebrities, edward scissorhands, Ghost Rider, johnny depp, nic cage, pirates of the...