The 1984rity Report

Bill Barnes tweeted a… tweet twat that gave me the idea for this comic.

billba Super annoying because there are 1680 & 1920 15″ screens out there. 1440 isn’t very “Pro” to we graphics professionals.

He has a point. Another point is that after seeing the new Macbooks/ Macbooks Pro I hate my 1st gen Macbook Pro and want a new one. Another another point is that it will always be this way because Apple is in the business of constantly one upping themselves hardware-wise in terms of performance and coolness. That’s just the nature of the brushed aluminum beast.

I will say that I really do prefer my matte screen to the glassy shiny ones. I will most likely buy another Apple laptop between now and the end of time, so I guess I’ll have to adapt.

The fervor that Apple invokes from it’s flock (myself included) tends to make one feel guilty when criticizing their products. As if I somehow don’t have the right to dislike a choice they’ve made. That’s class-A zombification there. It makes me joyfully sad to admit that.

There’s going to be a part 2 to this comic on Friday. We’ll see where the nice men in black turtle necks take Joel and what they do to him there. Should be fun.

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  1. I should have noticed the black turtlenecks right off the bat. Do you suppose they have a uniform at Apple HQ? Or, is it more likely that no one dares wear a black mock turtleneck for fear of what the great and powerful Jobs would say?

  2. 1) Ooh…continuity! Not sure how to react to this…
    2) Missed the Kool-Aid Man…again? Might need a retcon here.
    3) A "tweet twat"? Is that half of the required equipment for tweet reproduction?
    4) Keep the "xyz-splode"s coming!

  3. Great comic. Right there with ya' on the glossy screens. Also don't care for the keyboards, but like you, I suppose I'll adapt.

  4. Kool-Aid Man must be made out of pure diamonds. He certainly ain't glass, busting through walls all over the place. Imagine if you could take him down, you'd be set for life! But, just what do you use to kill a giant pitcher made out of diamond? Maybe you just have to tip him over and spill out all his blood, I mean sugar water?

    1) Build tippable platform into floor.
    2) Shout "Hey, Kool-Aid!"
    3) ???
    4) Profit!

  5. Awesome comic. Maybe it would have been even funnier if the AppleOPs beat Joel to a bloody pulp, and Eli wasn't just referring to the hole, but the red stains!

  6. "Shirtsplode" or "Chestsplode"?

    How about a Geeksplosion shirt? Would have to be double-sided though – turn the montage into a movie poster for the front and the synopsis on the back…

  7. "In a world of tyranny, one man dared to question Their Design. He failed. Through reprogramming and and reconditioning, he now works for Them. Joel Watson is no more. He is now…

    …The Macromancer"

  8. Why not make a "Shirtsplode!" shirt? A stylized explosion on the front with the comic book sound effect. And on the back include the URL of Hijinks Ensue or something. Could be one of your cheaper "stock" shirts for the fans!

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