Makin’ Bacon

Mmm Mmm! Tastes Like Science!

Lab grown meat might be 5 years or more away from reaching consumers but I guarantee you Arby’s is already doing preliminary market research.

Speaking of Arby’s, I’ve been deathly ill for the last few days. It’s made comicing, breathing, and not drowning in my own head juices extremely difficult. My wife is sick with the same bug (I’m thinking radioactive scorpions), and she’s had it for almost 2 weeks, so the prospects of me feeling like a real human soon are slim to… sorry I just coughed up one of my kidneys and it had a very disappointed look on it’s face. I don’t see why we are letting the V’s roam around our planet all willy nilly if they can’t even cure the common cold.

To add ridiculousness to injury, the cough drops I was downing one after another for an entire day turned out to contain 100% of my daily recommended Vitamin C. In case you didn’t know, your body simply will not accept 40,000% of the daily recommended dose of Vitamin C so it tries to get rid of it any way it can. Vit-C is water soluble so a but too much and you’ll just pee it out. WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH and it starts coming out of your pores. So now I’ve got a “cough drop rash” over most of my torso. Science is neat.

The Team Edward shirts are selling extremely well. In fact I’m a bit concerned about actually getting these order fulfilled. If you want one before the holidays (and you’re in the USA) you should probably order immediately… like tonight. Thanks to everyone who has ordered one, blogged about it linked to it in any way. This is my all time best selling product and it’s only been available for 1 day.

All Ultimate Fancy Edition Books are sketched and shipped. If you think you ordered one and haven’t received a confirmation email from me, then you need to email me so we can figure it out. As far as I can tell there are 3 UFE’s (signed & numbered out of 150) left that were never sold. I will make these available once I’m convinced they don’t belong to anyone.

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    • That was almost as awesome as todays comic! I just wasted 15 minutes reading the comments :oP

      Yay for the return of Josh and his bacon obsession! And that Hamn advert should be a poster. "Pulsating with flavor" LMAO

  1. Forget bacon- in five years, we’ll be chowing down Transmetropolitan-style, on whatever animal suits our perverted fancy. Dolphin, dog, monkey, dodo, long pig- sky’s the limit, baby!

  2. I just watched this story on the Colbert Report…and I gotta say I find the idea of soggy pork to be the most disgusting thing ever, ever (then I read about your cough drop sweat). But now I see that vegetarians will now have no excuse, and this makes me smile all over.

    Anyways, I hope you feel better. And don't become mummified in cough drop solution.

  3. Probably can't feel pain? I remember something like this in a Better Off Ted episode. Strange that it's actually real..

    • Better Off Ted FTW! I remember those two lab guys "growing" real beef without a cow!
      Joel, you must watch that show. It's hysterical!

  4. Eww, no thank you. Lab-grown meat should not be for eating! It should be used for other things instead, such as a precedent for growing replacement limbs. We can do that already you know; it just hasn't gotten widespread acceptance.

  5. Geez, science reporting by the mainstream media is like the telephone game. I love how "advances have been made toward the engineering of a simulated, lab-grown meat substitute" filters down to the news as "DEY GROWED HAM IN ONE A DEM SCIENCE BOXES!"

  6. I'm not saying anything about space bacon, but MY BOOK ARRIVED TODAY AND IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER! You saucy bastard, Joel, that sketch was quite the something. Shall take a photo of it or something when I've bounced around the house enough.

    (Got to get me an Edward-shirt too! Damn it wasn't around when I made my PayPal-slave order the badges and Roslin-t. Those two would make a great double pack, don't you think?)


  7. Joel, stay away from vegans. THEY SMELL FEAR, and vitamins present in fruits. So you'll be like a freaking walking tomato out there.

    PD: So many illnesses this year? i guess it's been bad for both of us. Your back, the mac's HD, now a vitamin-powered rash….

  8. "From the makers of Bleef"!! "Probably can't feel pain" ! LOL!1!!!

    oh, and I ordered my Edward shirt (and another for a friend). We're gonna wear 'em to Alamo drafthouse to laff at New Moon, and taunt the tweens.

  9. I just wanted to say that I got my book, and it's absolutely fantastic! I loved my sketch, and the letter at the beginning was awesome. I am so glad there are still people struggling to do what they love and I am glad to do my little part to support you!!! I still don't believe in twitter, or I would share a picture with everyone!

  10. Poor chap. You just seem to leap from misfortune to misfortune (this is not a warrant to wallow in self-pity), hope the general quality of things goes in the general direction of upward.

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