If I Had Glass

I have a bunch of clearance shirts in my store. Please buy them.

Josh IRL brought up a good point in this tweet. The possible proliferation of Google Glass won’t lead to people doing a lot more sky diving and hot air balloon racing. It’s going to lead to everyone walking directly into oncoming traffic and getting hit by a bus because both you and the bus driver were watching some hot heads up (and heads down, and back up and back down) sexytime action on your future glasses. What’s that Clarke quote? Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from porn? Maybe Larry Flynt said that. Either way it’s the most true statement anyone has ever made.

Nearly every leap in technology going back over the last 100 years has been driven by a desire to look at naked people while sexing oneself. Video compression? Porn. Credit cards over the Internet? Porn. Gutenberg press? Obviously porn. Powered flight? The Wright brothers assumed there was better porn two towns over and didn’t want to make the long drive. Porn is the engine around which society and technology gyrate. To deny this is to deny our nature, is to deny our future, is to deny our boners [and lady boners].

COMMENTERS: What applications, both legitimate and legitimately sexy, do you see people REALLY using Google Glass for? Will this tech be the next iPod or the next Google Wave?

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  1. It’s going to lead to everyone walking directly into oncoming traffic and getting hit by a bus…

    This is called "chlorinating the gene pool".

    • It won't get far. Some enterprising jackass will make a killing off the "Don't Get Yourself Killed Crossing the Street" App after nature only gets to select out a handful of early adopters…

  2. Now all we need to do is get Apple to put out their identical version of Google glasses decades after the pioneers before having the inventors sued for infringing copyright on that very same product.

  3. Most of my friends have the opinion that only the douche-y rich ones will be walking around with these on, commanding their glasses to start video conferences, start recording, telling the glasses to take a picture, do a search, etc. The term "Glassholes" has already been coined.

    … but now that you mention porn, we'll all have one within the first couple of months.

    I'll alert my HR department now…

  4. Vegeta! What does the Google Glass say about his powerlevel?!

    Google is actually developing the real world equivalent of a Scouter… Pinch me, I think I'm dreaming.

  5. Oh, that’s what Josh was doing. I just assumed he was addicted to that game from Risa. You know, where Riker crams discs into pleasure holes and Wesley teaches us that drugs are bad but girls can actually be kinda okay when they aren’t trying to get you stoned.

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