Hoboes are basically worthless

They don’t even have Edge data.

Josh has been trying to sneak my iPhone away at every available opportunity in an attempt to navigate it’s browser over to jailbreakme.com. He’s like my mom in that he knows what’s best for me despite my own wishes. And apparently, what’s best for me is to Jailbreak my virgin iPhone.

Hardware hacking just isn’t my thing. I’m squeamish. I used to have to get Josh to come over and update my hacked Xbox dashboard. There was IRC involved. Not for the faint of heart.

I gave him the chance to sway me to his side but all he could produce as evidence of reasons to hack were various games, and… games. A sophisticated gaming platform, the iPhone is not. This certainly wasn’t enough to make me want to turn over root access to my device.

If you’ve seen the current round of iPhone ads (one if which is parodied above) you are no doubt familiar with the “Pilot” one. He’s sitting in a plane and the flight is delayed due to an approaching storm. His iPhone saves the day because he is able to check weather.com and see that the storm has moved on.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

Air F-ing traffic control is going to ground a flight based on information from instruments that is NOT as sophisticated as weather.com? Worse yet, do they not have the internet?

What if the pilot had just looked up Hurricane” on Urban Dictionary? Could he have convinced them to clear him for takeoff based on the fact that, according to UD, a hurricane is either a particular type of bong that will “roast you so quick”, a doubly potent 40 oz of malt liquor, a Bob Dylan song, or an ejaculatory endzone dance referenced in a Souljah Boy lyric. Nothing to worry about there, right?

Those with a keen eye will recognize Boxcar Pete in the wash tub up there in panel 4. He’s the stabby kind of hobo, so watch out.

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14 Comments

  1. I despise that iPhone commercial. It is an outright lie in almost every conceivable way. Why does Apple not get in trouble for it? It’s a ‘real’ person, not an actor and Apple has no obligation to verify if what he says is in any way possibly truth. Its his ‘opinion’ of what happened. If I ever walk onto a plane and see that man as the pilot, I’m walking off. No way I’d want my pilot to be that incredible dependent on a phone that he cannot have on while were in flight.

  2. And ground weather isn’t even relevant to a jetliner. “Nice and clear” on the ground does not mean it’s not gale-force winds 40,000 feet up.

  3. Man, not even the iPhone can replace the victrola. Who the hell are you kidding? 😉

    But, yeah, that commerical drives me crazy. Augh. Guess they’re not getting enough drug testing. Once a year is just not enough.

  4. @Yaira
    “Number Johnny 5 IS ALIIIIIVE!”

    @Jamison and MKR
    Its equivalent to “We’re grounding all flights due to a terrorist threat!”
    “Guys! I just checked Yahoo News and it doesnt say anything about a threat!”
    “Good job. You are cleared for takoffEXPLOSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    @Kathleen
    Im still using my original Edison telephone. It can only call one number. Its so indie.

  5. Man, the thing that always got me about the iPhone commercials is the one that you parodied. I mean. The dude had two phones. One for calling people and one for texting and internet? WTF. Why do you need two phones for that? Are you talking and texting at the same time? Do you need to be constantly checking the internets while gabbing about last night’s Gilmore Girls?

  6. @Varis
    I have a 3rd phone just for checking voicemail.

    @Dean
    Careful now with the “fuck apple” stuff. I am still a diehard fanboy. This one series of ads just seemed a bit off. I will still kiss Steve’s rings when he comes by in his Steve-Mobile.

    @Chris
    damnit. Thanks.

    • Actually, at the time the original iPhone was not any sort of gaming platform. There wasn't even an app store and Apple kept insisting that apps were not a part of the iPhone's future.

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