Die, Wheaton. Die!

Ok, so Wil Wheaton basically dared me to draw this. Actually he dared me to draw him getting crushed by an avalanche of fan-donated dice, but Fancy Bastard DoctorAvenue had a suggestion that seemed to fit the “Spirit of Wheaton” a little better. A more positive spin on the whole “now what do I do with 100,000 polyhedral dice?” dilemma, if you will.

NOTE: Anyone confused by the ASCII representation on the side of the “Dice Bin,” just think about Wil Wheaton’s motto.

If you are going to GenCon in Indiana this weekend, please go say hi to Wil, give him a die, pick up his con-exclusive chapbook and offer him a hearty Sci-Five. He will know what’s up and reciprocate (unless you are holding a knife or a carcass of some sort in the other hand) [forgot Wheaton is trying to avoid the CONfluenza]. There is a chance Wil will have prints of this comic available at his signing table. Also go say Hi to AlinaWeregeekPete. She makes a great comic about tabletop gaming and also makes jewelry out of gaming dice. Here’s an insider secret: she will give you some of the magical dice jewelry if you give her money in exchange for it.

Since the books I shipped to Topatoco haven’t arrived yet, you have precious few days remaining to order a personalized Artist Edition of HE Book 1. Once the books are in my Topatoco store, personalized sketches will be reserved for conventions and exclusive, infrequent online sales.

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61 Comments

  1. *slow clap* My hat is off to Joel. Well done, good sir, well done indeed.

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  2. …and this is why I love Twitter.

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  3. "Spirit Of Wheaton" is my all chip tune Rush cover band.

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    • "Die, Wheaton, Die" is my D&D thrashcore band

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      • I'm starting a punk band and calling it "Shut up Wesley!"

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        • I'm sure I'm going to lose some nerd cred for asking this, but where does the hate on Wesley Crusher come from? I watched the show with my parents all the time as a kid, and I remember enjoying Wesley quite a lot, and losing a bit of interest when he left.

          Admittedly, he's annoyed the crap out of me in some of the episodes that I've watched on DVD since I first saw them when I was a child, but I attributed that more to 1980s scriptwriting more than anything. And I still like him in "The First Duty." I guess I'm wondering where the Wesley train went off the tracks.

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          • Well if you the internet is powered by hate and the forum trolls have been seduced by that hate and must feed. :) Also I was one of the people that didn't care for the Wesley character and my "band name" was more about what became a running joke on that show with characters telling Wesley Crusher to shut up. Personally I like Wil Wheaton because he's cool shit and not a phony celebrity.

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            • I've honestly always liked him because of "Stand By Me." When I was like 6 it was my favorite movie, and it was on TV all the time, so I got to keep watching it. Honestly, when I think Wil Wheaton, I think of the kid who grew up to be Richard Dreyfus.

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    • Glad he's making it to Gencon finally. One of the auction guys called him out about that last year.

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    • Too Many Dice is the name of my one-man-band Polyphonic Spree cover band

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  4. Another one hit out of the park!

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  5. I was confused by the ASCII for only a second… at which point I realized that you just created the new Mark of Wheaton.

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    • yeah we should try to make that a thing.

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  6. Glad to see his arm grew back after the catgirl incident.

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  7. …♪woo-ooh.♫

    Although I must say that diving headfirst into those very pointy dice would probably cause some nasty medical problems. Although it would be cool afterwards when you could get a die roll by shaking your head…

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    • And if you land just right, you can have d4's all stuck to your forehead, like I do to make my friends roll their eyes at me around the gaming table.

      Natch, I'm in Cali for work this weekend, instead of hanging at a gaming convention. Sunlight=bad, 17 open ended d6's = good.

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  8. Wil Wheaton has a fifth digit! I take it that this means he exists in a universe different from all other HE characters. Or maybe he's just that special.

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  9. I dunno about any motto, but that ascii logo looks like a dick with the head getting chopped off.

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    • Oh. OH. I see what you did there.

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  10. Unfortunately, no one will probably be able to give him a sci-five. He's got this Howie Mandel thing goin' cause of the bird flu he got. Unless my internet sarcasm meter didn't go off properly of course…

    I'd love to see him pull off a Scrooge McDuck thing with all these dice he'll probably get though.

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    • altered to post. forgot about the confluenza outbreak.

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      • Having never been to a con before, I've never heard the term, but "Confluenza" is one of my favorite terms now…

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  11. What's Wil Wheaton's Motto? "Live every day like you were once a star of Star Trek"?

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    • "Don't Be A Dick."

      Advice you coud use.

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      • Doesn't MC Frontalot have a song about that? "Your Friend Will", or something to that effect?

        And…let's point out that while WW will be in "Indianer" this weekend at a gaming con, Vegas will be hosting this:
        http://www.creationent.com/cal/stlv.htm

        I have a bit more respect for WW…he could be at a cash cow, or Creation's cash cow anyway, and instead is spending the weekend w teh g8mers.

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  12. Are we to assume that there is a network of white towers with cupolas throughout the world containing vast sums of geeky treasure? Is this a thing? Are Wheaton and Rowling in cahoots?

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  13. Damn, the one Con in my city and I don't think I'm going… this happens EVERY year.

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  14. i had to do some googling to understand that it wasn't the mark of john wayne bobbit.

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    • LOL that's exactly what came to my mind went at first…. an ASCII penis cut in half!

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  15. Oh this is superb. Well done. 😀

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  16. Wil Wheaton is the nerd equivelent of Paris Hilton. Just famous to be famous. No real reason behind it.

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    • Wow. You need to stop being a dick. The dude is the most approachable of anyone who's ever been on a landmark Sci-fi series. He's like us if we were lucky enough to get on the show.

      Will is to nerds what John Daly is to golf fans. Just a regular dude who somehow pulled off the dream.

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    • Im not even going to justify this blatant trollery with a well thought out response. Im just banning your IP.

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      • Well played, sir!

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  17. Damn you Joel…now i'll have the DuckTales theme song stuck in my head for the of the night…AND..trying to change the lyrics to suit Wil Wheaton AND D&D…lol

    BTW did you catch his appearance on Eureka?

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    • damn..that should have read "for the rest of the night"…sry 2.55am here in NYC..lol

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      • Catch it? I was one for the first people in America to see it. I was at the comic con screening. My friend Amy is the EP for Eureka. It was great.

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    • Sadly, you saying that now has my brain cycling through the Disney cartoon theme songs from my youth. Particularly annoying is the current round of the 8 bars of "Tale Spin" I still remember.

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  18. I still don't understand Wheaton's ASCII motto, damn im losing my nerd-mojo!

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    • see hijinksensue reply above

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    • WOW! You actually made an appropriate response to the subject in question JUST to promote your stupid spamming online gift site. Banned.

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      • People are spamming your site for web traffic….your moving up in the world Joel :)

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      • Woah, you're running people like a major league umpire. Awesome.

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  19. Hey, Wil Wheaton's motto is the same as rule #1 in my house!

    Awesome comic!

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  20. You should've had him popping out of the dice saying "bazinga!" Oh well, next time.

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    • yep. I figured id already drawn the money bin once. I used the same rough outline.

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  21. Thanks for the comic man. I got one from Wil at his signing. I just need to find a cool frame for it now. Maybe one bejeweled with dice?

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    • ooh! post a pic of you with the print. I havent seen on in action yet.

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      • Ok here it is:
        <img src=http://mordyan.com/storage/myselfwithprint.jpg alt="Action Pose" width="400" />
        Right click and view image to see it in all its glory. He numbered them as he went and I got 7 of 50.

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  22. LOL I was looking at the ASCII like it was some form of weird math problem. I had to tilt my head sideways to *see* the…ahem…member.

    Anyways, fantastic rendering! Although, I imagine it would be a little painful to dive headfirst into a pit of dice without goggles. Typically pointy (or even slightly pokey) bits and eyes don't mix very well!

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  23. Wheaton's motto: "Don't be a dick"

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  24. Does Alina “Weregeek” Pete have a website where one could go to look at jewelery made of dice?

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  25. Can we get the Wheaton Motto ASCII on a tee-shirt or bumper-sticker please?

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    • I was talking to Wheaton about that for a while but we never really came to a decision.

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  26. Whatever: when I'm famous for some reason, and doing the Con tours, I'm going to shake hands with every fan and have each one cough on me until I either (1) die, or (2) have a completely indestructible immune system.

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