Die, Wheaton. Die!

Ok, so Wil Wheaton basically dared me to draw this. Actually he dared me to draw him getting crushed by an avalanche of fan-donated dice, but Fancy Bastard DoctorAvenue had a suggestion that seemed to fit the “Spirit of Wheaton” a little better. A more positive spin on the whole “now what do I do with 100,000 polyhedral dice?” dilemma, if you will.

NOTE: Anyone confused by the ASCII representation on the side of the “Dice Bin,” just think about Wil Wheaton’s motto.

If you are going to GenCon in Indiana this weekend, please go say hi to Wil, give him a die, pick up his con-exclusive chapbook and offer him a hearty Sci-Five. He will know what’s up and reciprocate (unless you are holding a knife or a carcass of some sort in the other hand) [forgot Wheaton is trying to avoid the CONfluenza]. There is a chance Wil will have prints of this comic available at his signing table. Also go say Hi to AlinaWeregeekPete. She makes a great comic about tabletop gaming and also makes jewelry out of gaming dice. Here’s an insider secret: she will give you some of the magical dice jewelry if you give her money in exchange for it.

Since the books I shipped to Topatoco haven’t arrived yet, you have precious few days remaining to order a personalized Artist Edition of HE Book 1. Once the books are in my Topatoco store, personalized sketches will be reserved for conventions and exclusive, infrequent online sales.

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        • I'm sure I'm going to lose some nerd cred for asking this, but where does the hate on Wesley Crusher come from? I watched the show with my parents all the time as a kid, and I remember enjoying Wesley quite a lot, and losing a bit of interest when he left.

          Admittedly, he's annoyed the crap out of me in some of the episodes that I've watched on DVD since I first saw them when I was a child, but I attributed that more to 1980s scriptwriting more than anything. And I still like him in "The First Duty." I guess I'm wondering where the Wesley train went off the tracks.

          • Well if you the internet is powered by hate and the forum trolls have been seduced by that hate and must feed. 🙂 Also I was one of the people that didn't care for the Wesley character and my "band name" was more about what became a running joke on that show with characters telling Wesley Crusher to shut up. Personally I like Wil Wheaton because he's cool shit and not a phony celebrity.

            • I've honestly always liked him because of "Stand By Me." When I was like 6 it was my favorite movie, and it was on TV all the time, so I got to keep watching it. Honestly, when I think Wil Wheaton, I think of the kid who grew up to be Richard Dreyfus.

  1. …♪woo-ooh.♫

    Although I must say that diving headfirst into those very pointy dice would probably cause some nasty medical problems. Although it would be cool afterwards when you could get a die roll by shaking your head…

    • And if you land just right, you can have d4's all stuck to your forehead, like I do to make my friends roll their eyes at me around the gaming table.

      Natch, I'm in Cali for work this weekend, instead of hanging at a gaming convention. Sunlight=bad, 17 open ended d6's = good.

  2. Wil Wheaton has a fifth digit! I take it that this means he exists in a universe different from all other HE characters. Or maybe he's just that special.

  3. Unfortunately, no one will probably be able to give him a sci-five. He's got this Howie Mandel thing goin' cause of the bird flu he got. Unless my internet sarcasm meter didn't go off properly of course…

    I'd love to see him pull off a Scrooge McDuck thing with all these dice he'll probably get though.

  4. Are we to assume that there is a network of white towers with cupolas throughout the world containing vast sums of geeky treasure? Is this a thing? Are Wheaton and Rowling in cahoots?

    • Wow. You need to stop being a dick. The dude is the most approachable of anyone who's ever been on a landmark Sci-fi series. He's like us if we were lucky enough to get on the show.

      Will is to nerds what John Daly is to golf fans. Just a regular dude who somehow pulled off the dream.

  5. Damn you Joel…now i'll have the DuckTales theme song stuck in my head for the of the night…AND..trying to change the lyrics to suit Wil Wheaton AND D&D…lol

    BTW did you catch his appearance on Eureka?

  6. Thanks for the comic man. I got one from Wil at his signing. I just need to find a cool frame for it now. Maybe one bejeweled with dice?

  7. LOL I was looking at the ASCII like it was some form of weird math problem. I had to tilt my head sideways to *see* the…ahem…member.

    Anyways, fantastic rendering! Although, I imagine it would be a little painful to dive headfirst into a pit of dice without goggles. Typically pointy (or even slightly pokey) bits and eyes don't mix very well!

  8. Whatever: when I'm famous for some reason, and doing the Con tours, I'm going to shake hands with every fan and have each one cough on me until I either (1) die, or (2) have a completely indestructible immune system.

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