Wheaton Comic Dare: Something Something Shark Vagina

Guys, it’s never happened before and I pray it never happens again, but today Wil Wheaton issued a DOUBLE COMIC DARE based on this twitter conversation (and later this one) to both to me and Lar deSouza.

Somehow I survived this challenge of will and the results of my dare acceptance are above. Lar’s (which are VERY NSFW and honestly NSFANYONE) are here and here. Oh, did I forget to mention to have a gallon of eye bleach at the ready? Sorry. [More Wheaton Comic Dares HERE]

The 2013 DIGITAL FANCY SKETCH DRIVE is on like… a not off thing! I’m running low on money-style funds (like I usually do this time of year), so for $20 I will draw you just about anything (within reason). Check out the details and order yours HERE.


ANOTHER THING YOU DEFINITELY SHOULD KNOW ABOUT! In addition to having her own photo restoration business, my wife has also started making super cool, ultra geeky jewelry on Etsy. You can see her Tetris necklace below and more geeky creations in her shop! 



Comments (13)

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Nathan deGargoyle's avatar

Nathan deGargoyle · 97 weeks ago

DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck · 98 weeks ago

Hmmm…. needs more cowbell.
Hotsauce's avatar

Hotsauce · 98 weeks ago

I have a friend, who has a tattoo. It was inspired by a cactus she had, the she felt looked just like an octopus. She calls it Cactopus. Except, she pronounces that ‘a’ like you would pronounce the ‘o’ in octopus. The mind reels.

1 reply · active 98 weeks ago

I’m going to have to insist that the producers of “Sharknado 2” include a scene of old Henry Winkler jumping his motorcycle over the sharknado.
PokeyPuppy's avatar

PokeyPuppy · 98 weeks ago

THAT NECKLACE! Amazing. I may have to get off my butt and actually work on my idea for a Katamari necklace (I have the beads, just haven’t tackled it yet).

Definitely getting off my butt to get a Tetris necklace, though. Brilliant!

Tagline: “This is one button you DON’T want to push”
Mousr's avatar

Mousr · 98 weeks ago

I love the tetris necklace, and showed the picture to my wife to ask if she would want to wear one. She said it was lovely, but no she would not, because it would always bother her that the bottom row hadn’t disappeared.

1 reply · active 97 weeks ago

Count the columns. 9 Instead of 10. The 10th column is empty.
safetyfirstkids's avatar

safetyfirstkids · 98 weeks ago

Clearly the answer to this problem is MEGALODONG VS CEPHALOPUSSY..

Wheaton Comic Dare: We Have To Go Back!

CRUISE FUNDRAISER: 85/100 prints are sold and it would be great to sell that last few remaining prints before the end of the year. I am also going to leave up the additional prints and print packs for sale until probably February in case you want to get in on that action.

Hey Sci-Fancy Bastards! Syfy Tv Movie Title Generator Shirts are almost gone from the HE store for good and they’re CRAZY CHEAP! Men’s are down to Sm and Med. Ladies sizes are more abundant.

You guys know the Weaton Comic Dare drill by now. He dared, Stepto jumped in, I responded and did my cartoonistly duty. Everybody wins. This comic hits a little too close to home. The home which I never leave. The home in which I rarely change out of my pajamas. The very same home where I go to bed at 7am and start my day around 3m. This is a weird job. Freelancers know what I’m talking about. Putting on pants just causes problems. Like having to know where pants are, or how to clean them. Serious problems.

Bid on an auction to APPEAR IN A HIJINKS ENSUE COMIC! It’s for charity! Only 4 days left!
And only 1 day left to bid on this sweet Webcomics Jam Poster.

My desire to prevent my friends from being dissappointed by LOST is the same as Lord Elrond’s desire to save his daughter Arwen from toiling in a mortal life only to die, when eternal paradise is only a boat ride away. The irony is he WANTED her to go the island. I’m trying to keep as many people off the Island as possible. It’s not that there was NOTHING to enjoy about LOST. In fact the first 3.5 seasons are some of the finest TV that’s every been TV’d. The problem is the steeeeeeeep drop in quality halfway through the 3rd season that just continually plummets to a dismal and unsatisfying conclusion. If you have the willpower (and most don’t) to watch the first 3.5 seasons then pretend it was cancelled, you might end up being the happiest geek alive. All of your questions will still never be answered, but at least you don’t have to experience the half-hearted nonsense of the back half of the show.

COMMENTERS: When I found out my friend Stepto was going to crash his plane into the island, I tried to sum up what was about to happen to him via Twitter. Turns out it only took 4 tweets. Have you ever tried to stop a friend from delving into disappointing  geekery? Did they do it anyway? Did they love it, despite you? WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR FRIEND!?

Wheaton Comic Dare: Cutaways And Castouts

3 New Shirts at @Sharksplode: Wibbly Wobbly Timey WimeyRival Smugglers and Might Club!

Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey Shirt - Doctor Who and MST3k Parody shirts


Whig Party dudes, amirite? They are THE worst. Every time you try to involve them in a bit, it just falls flat. Wil was on Family Guy last week. He tweeted, I made a joke, he dared. It’s the way of the world.

COMMENTERS: Who’s your favorite TV or film actor (who doesn’t regularly do a TON of voice work) to pop up in an animated thing? Speaking of Star Trek allums, I do love when I hear Patrick Stewart’s be-knighted tones in a cartoon. Of course Michael Dorn is always nice, but he was practically a full time VO actor for a decade. The reverse is an altogether different sensation. I love seeing Jeffrey Combs (one of my FAVORITE voice actors) acting on screen. He was in Deep Space 9 a lot and I recently saw him in The Frighteners. He’s got such a captivating/creepy on-screen presence.

Speaking of voice actors:  HE Podcast Episode 93 With Voice Actors Yuri Lowenthall and Tara Platt!

If you want to help decide the fate of the next HijiNKS ENSUE JoCo Cruise fundraiser, check out this thread in the Fancy Bastard Facebook Group.

Wheaton Comic Dare: Wil Wheaton Paper Doll 2

As with the previous edition of Wil Wheaton Paper Dolls, Wil did not so much invoke the power of the Wheaton Comic Dare as he calmly and collectedly texted me and said, “We should do this again.” I feel like the peer pressure and public shaming elements of the Wil Wheaton Comic Dares are really starting to wane. Perhaps we should call them Wil Wheaton Comic Polite Friendly Suggestions In Which Fun Times Are Nearly Guaranteed For All Involved. Step up your daring game, Wheaton. This is The Internet. Shit us supposed to get crazy around here, not cordial.

If you happen to be attending Austin Comic Con this weekend, there is a good chance that Wil will have sheets of this second paper doll set for sale at his booth. I don’t know if he’ll have them today (Friday) but I bet he has them on Saturday. Stop by, say hi, things buy, bye bye. That’s how it should go.

If you aren’t attending the con, you can click “Buy A Print” under the comic and get your own high quality hard copy.


Wheaton Comic Dare: Wil Wheaton Paper Doll

HijiNKS ENSUE At Dallas Animefest

This weekend I’ll be at Dallas Animefest with Rob from Explosm. We’ll be in the dealer room, terrified of glomping cat-girls and Sailor Bubbas alike. I’ll have both HE Books, Prints, sketch cards, “Grammar Dalek” Shirts and “The Doctor Is In” shirts.

Wil didn’t so much “dare” me to make this paper doll as he did call me up and, with his best “WE SHOULD TOTALLY DO THIS BECAUSE IT WOULD BE TOTALLY AWESOME!” enthusiasm-voice, ask me very politely to draw it. The last time Wil dared me to draw him as a child’s plaything it took us over a year to bring it into meatspace. The good news is this time around the plaything in question doesn’t require an army of Chinese children with nimble fingers to make it a reality. All we really need is a PDF and a laser printer. To that end, Wil is going to have actual Wil Wheaton Paper Doll sheets that you’ll be able to purchase at PAX this weekend! For those of you unable to attend PAX, you can use the “Buy A Print” button below this comic to get your own Paper Wil.

I was under the impression that these would be “hang on the wall” types of things, but Wil is insistent that you guys actually cut them out, fold the tabs, dance them around and make them have holodeck tea parties. He is usually right about this sort of thing, so I’m going to fully endorse the idea. I would go as far as to suggest that you make your own accessories and post photographic evidence on one or more Internets.

COMMENTERS: What should be in a potential add-on pack for the Wheaton paper dolls? What accessories or clothes would a paper doll of YOU come with?