2 Girls, 1 Cup, 6 Senses

I was first “Goatse‘d” back in the year Nineteen hundred and Ninety Nine, followed shortly by a rousing “Tubgirl‘ing.” I was in intensive care for 3 months. Another 18 months of recuperative therapy and I had almost regained my vision and ability to comprehend language. You see, my brain had simply refused to go on. “Game over, man. Game over. I quit,” says my brain. I would have taken a holiday too if I’d been in his shoes.

That was traumatic, but apparently not EXTREME enough for today’s hip internet youth. Now they have to Rickroll each other into watching some sort of girl-on-girl fecal fetish video that reminds me of the soft serve machine at The Golden Coral. What’s wrong with the youth of this internet.

Here’s me as an old man on a porch,

“In my day we showed our friends still pictures… JPEGs of men with gaping anuses. We didn’t have these online moving pictures to torture anyone with. We’d IM somebody with “Hey, check out this hottie,” then we’d send him a link to a picture of a girl in a bath wearing a stocking on her head and geysering a shit fountain into her own face. It was a simpler time.”

As far as memes go, 2 girls 1 cup is a great way to close out 2007. Let’s go ahead and put a moritorium on memes for the rest of the year. Let’s ride this one out into January, then get back together as a group and decide if we want any more. The same process that brought us Laugh Out Loud Felines, has also caused me to know what it looks like when women that have been eating shit throw up on each other. That’s unacceptable, internet. You should know better.

I guess the guy that “directed it” is in trouble. All I know is Jacky needs to talk to somebody.

Also, “2 girls, 1 cup” sounds like a great name for a lesbian coffee shop.

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24 Comments

  1. My friends and I are of the firm opinion that there is no real poop in that video… it's all stunt poop. Fauxces, if you will. I don't know about anybody else, but I have *never* seen poop that looked like fresh whipped cream, with just a hint of chocolate.

    Now, all the puking and such is gross- but with an adequately cleaned colon, two girls sharing a cup of piping hot soft-serve fauxces is certainly a lot less gross.

    I anxiously await full documentation on this, as it will help to settle a bet I have with one of my associates.

    • bro you can't stick shit that color in a girl's ass, she would die, there are parts in the butt that would get infected if touched.

  2. @AJ
    Ive read what youve written 6 times. I still cant make sense of it so im going to stop trying.

    @JC
    Im with you. I smell something rotten and its not poop. Its more like chocolate mousse. Also “fauxces” is the funniest thing Iver ever heard. You win the comment contest.

  3. Every time I hear about this kind of thing, immediately some world leader pops into my head and I wonder if they have seen the video in question. Has Vladimir Putin ever been Goatse’d? Has Cheney ever TubGirl’ed Bush? Actually, I’m pretty sure Bush would be the guy in the office that would send TubGirl to all his friends.

    Y’know what’s fun? Go on message boards and say things like “I think I’m the only person in the world that has never seen Goatse.” Then see how fast the link shows up. Bonus points if someone gets banned for posting it.

  4. May or not have been real poop, but this sort of thing definitely is done with real poop in private, and at least some films do show the real thing (for example, swap.avi looked more convincing).

    To be honest, I’m actually quite upset that selling these types of films is illegal in the US. For a country that considers itself a bastion of freedom, we’re clearly still battling some pretty senseless paternalism.

  5. @ comment #3: Shit, there was a comment contest?

    This is the most frightening HE I’ve read. I didn’t understand the context of the subject matter until I read the post, so the comic alone definitely has a genuine creep factor.

  6. @jovin
    There will be no discussion of swap.avi anywhere near this comic. (oh shit here comes the google bot to index my site for swap.avi! RUNNNNNN!)

    @Whiskey
    I loved that one. I also love how Peter’s father says his name, “Payyter!”

    @Dean
    I suppose taken totally out of context this strip would make negative sense. Taken in context it only makes 1/3 sense.

  7. Just reading your explanation made me vomit in my mouth. And my wife is still mad at me for showing her what a Goatse was. So I avoid shit like this like the fucking plague.

  8. @Tye
    Im not real familiar with 4chan other than the fact that I know I can do without it and still live a happy healthy life. Most of your darker corners of the intertubes can only serve to breed pestilence and sadness.

  9. @Whiskey
    Maybe too much whiskey?
    I dont want to spoil anything but Joel is dead for the rest of the strip. he just doesnt know it.

  10. after reading this post, i clicked several links, and was directed to “lolcats”.
    thanks to YOUR post, i just spent the last 15 minutes looking at photos of cats/kittens in straange positions with clever quotations around said photos.

    .. and i’m not sure whether to thank you, or curse you in such a manner that would result in a. your accidental massacre-ing of everyone you have ever cared about or b. your condemnation to the fiery pits of oompa loompa land. things have never been the same since the man with the hat, arrived..

  11. I finally saw 2 girls 1 cup after reading this comic and the comments on it…I agree, the erm…feces doesn’t look real to me. That and I must be extremely desensitized cause I didn’t look away at all or anything…too many violent videogames I guess lol.

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