A Barrage Of Clamorous Leakage

C2E2 IN CHICAGO IS THIS WEEKEND!!! I will be there with Randy [Something*Positive], Danielle [Girls With Slingshots] and David [Shortpacked & Dumbing Of Age]! Read more about it HERE.

EWOK STAAAAAARRREEEEEE!!!

THERE IS A NEW HE PODCAST!!! EPISODE 81 – DICK ISLAND

If you preordered HE Book 2, please read the updated shipping times on THIS PAGE.

Here’s a comic that is based on events so true, that to deny them would be to deny the fountain of mucus that is my head. DO NOT DENY IT! I must have some sort of baby blackhole in my sinus cavity that connects to a parallel universe made up entirely of sneeze-based lifeforms. If that last few days are any indication, their entire snot armada has entered our realm and soon we will be building nose-shaped sarcophagi for them to inhabit as they enslave the people of earth. I was positive that I had contracted a con-bug from Emerald City Comicon, especially after hearing that David Willis caught bronchitis. Every time I turned around that weekend he was either spitting into my coffee, licking my food or injecting me with vials of his own blood. Weird guy, that one. Now, I’m starting to think that I wasn’t sick at all and my allergies have leveled up. They’re like a 7th level Chaotic Evil Pollen Ragweed Mage that only rolls 20’s.

I am feeling slightly better today, so hopefully I will only be slightly leaking by the time I leave for Chicago on Thursday. My goal is to give you at least 1 more regular HE comic before I leave, then 2 awesome guest comics, followed by a regular HE, and maybe a LoFi to round out the week. As usual, the monday after a con will probably feature a series of con-sketches.

The Cuptertino Diet

MEEEEDLY MEEEEEDLY SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
ALL NEW REDESIGNED “AND MY AXE” SHIRTS ARE IN THE STORE!

NEW HE Podcast Episode 80: Medium Seabiscuit [or is it Sexbiscuit?]

OMG EMERALD CITY COMICON IS RIGHT NOW [starting Friday]!!! Come see me and Angela at booth 307.

CONVENTION UPDATE: I will be at The Toronto Comics And Arts Festival May 7-8 after all, and I will also be at Connecticon July 9-11.

BOOK UPDATE: The giant, frost bitten pallet of HE Book 2‘s arrived at my house on Wednesday. I’ll start shipping books when I get back from ECCC. Non-artist edition books will ship first, followed by non-artist UFE’s (still waiting on some of the goodies like stickers and buttons to arrive), followed by all artist editions. I have at least 200 books to sketch, so please be forgiving when it comes to delivery times.

Ok, don’t look at me like that. Josh came up with this and I just wanted to make sure you all knew what a monster he was. Now that you know… what he is… just don’t look him directly in the eyes if you ever meet him. Because I assure you, the thing looking back will chill you to the core. It’s like staring into the soulless eyes of a shark with cataracts. Or maybe a raccoon. Either way it’s some sobering shit. The temperature in the room will drop 10 degrees, then it will rise because you just peed yourself. He’s a monster. A monster.

COMMENTERS: So hows about that spanky new iPad 2, eh? That mobile Garageband is giving me dangerous thoughts. One might even say IDEAS. Ooooohhhhh…. ideeeeeaaaaaasssss….

Persistence Of Motion

AND MY AXE!
MEEEEDLY MEEEEEDLY SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
ALL NEW REDESIGNED “AND MY AXE” SHIRTS ARE IN THE STORE!

Last chance for Ladies Heather Grey “And My Axe” shirts!

NEW HE Podcast! Episode 80: HERES’S THE LINK

This is indeed Smallville‘s final season which means that soon I will be released from my decade long blood oath and again walk the Earth as a free man. There are either 6 or 1000 episodes left before the end of the season. It’s hard to tell. Time really has no meaning at this point. Somewhere around season 6 I remember saying to myself, “I have wasted over 100 hours of my life on this show. I can either cut myself loose from it now and consider that time lost forever, or I can see this bastard factory through to the end and hope for some kind of payoff. How much steam could it possibly have left in it? One more season at best. Certainly not FOUR.”

Oh, well. I am resigned to my fate. I’m sure it will get an 11th hour 11th season pickup. At that point I will probably just eat a big bucket of wet cement and wait for my internal organs to fossilize.

COMMENTERS: Is anyone out there still suffering with me or am I totally alone? Rest assured that your answer won’t change how miserable I feel about the fact that I’m still watching Smallville. Also, and I think we’ve talked about this before, but what show do you regret holding out to the very end with? What shows are you glad you were able to abandon before they got too terrible?

A Long Term Commitment

Team Edward [James Olmos] Shirts at Topatoco!

NEW HE PODCAST [episode 78] IS HERE! Hours of extra podcast are HERE for Vault Subscribers.

In case you weren’t nervous about the future of humanity as a whole, please know there are people [REAL ACTUAL PEOPLE] who have signed Billion Year Contracts with a science fiction religion. Now sleep, children. Sleep comfortably in the knowledge that we, as a species, are too stupid to survive much longer.

COMMENTERS: What are some of the sci-fi stipulations of the Scientology Sea Org’s Billion Year Contract? Is there a non-refundable security deposit on your space pod? Do you get to upgrade to a new Operating Thetan level ever two years as long as your account is in good standing?

IG-88 And The Stooges

LAST CHANCE FOR “KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY OVIPOSITOR SHIRTS”!!!
They are only $15! They will never be printed again, so get ’em while you can.

Some of the Fancy Bastards and I played a Twitter game Thursday night with the hashtag #StarWarsBands. Fun times were had by all. I came up with the idea for the meme on the way home from picking up dinner that night, jotted a few notes in my phone, then started posting them as soon as I got home. Unbeknownst to me, another Twitterer had started the same meme the night before. Maybe it’s just a constantly perpetuating meme with no beginning or end. Dexie’s Midnight Kessel Runners, Prince And The New Power Converter, and May The Force Be With Uriah Heep! See what I mean?

Feel free to add your own Star Wars Bands in THE COMMENTS, but make sure your idea hasn’t already been done.

Thanks to these Fancy Tweeters who’s contributions made it into this comic: WTFisCLB, cartergilson, TheAlucinaut, DRCroston, Hermetic,
d20monkey, vemene, sandchigger, and Sir_Stepho.