Chapters: HijiNKS ENSUE Classic

Makin’ Bacon

Mmm Mmm! Tastes Like Science!

Lab grown meat might be 5 years or more away from reaching consumers but I guarantee you Arby’s is already doing preliminary market research.

Speaking of Arby’s, I’ve been deathly ill for the last few days. It’s made comicing, breathing, and not drowning in my own head juices extremely difficult. My wife is sick with the same bug (I’m thinking radioactive scorpions), and she’s had it for almost 2 weeks, so the prospects of me feeling like a real human soon are slim to… sorry I just coughed up one of my kidneys and it had a very disappointed look on it’s face. I don’t see why we are letting the V’s roam around our planet all willy nilly if they can’t even cure the common cold.

To add ridiculousness to injury, the cough drops I was downing one after another for an entire day turned out to contain 100% of my daily recommended Vitamin C. In case you didn’t know, your body simply will not accept 40,000% of the daily recommended dose of Vitamin C so it tries to get rid of it any way it can. Vit-C is water soluble so a but too much and you’ll just pee it out. WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH and it starts coming out of your pores. So now I’ve got a “cough drop rash” over most of my torso. Science is neat.

STORE UPDATE:
The Team Edward shirts are selling extremely well. In fact I’m a bit concerned about actually getting these order fulfilled. If you want one before the holidays (and you’re in the USA) you should probably order immediately… like tonight. Thanks to everyone who has ordered one, blogged about it linked to it in any way. This is my all time best selling product and it’s only been available for 1 day.

All Ultimate Fancy Edition Books are sketched and shipped. If you think you ordered one and haven’t received a confirmation email from me, then you need to email me so we can figure it out. As far as I can tell there are 3 UFE’s (signed & numbered out of 150) left that were never sold. I will make these available once I’m convinced they don’t belong to anyone.

The Special Sauce

I just can’t seem to remember to cancel my Black Friday sale in the HE Store. I sure hope no one is in the mood for savings, because they could really take advantage of my forgetfulness. If someone wanted to know more about the fantastic savings or the new products (including the first ever HE Button Pack!) I suppose they could click HERE.

If you celebrated Thanksgravy this year I hope it was both gluttonous and slothful. Mind was both as is evidenced by my massive hangover. Well, I’m not sure if you call it a hangover when you’re talking about pie but you get my drift. Conventional wisdom would say you can avoid pain the next morning my alternating pumpkin and chocolate pecan pie every half hour. My experiments prove this to be false and delicious.

The more I learn about Hobo Thanksgiving traditions the more fascinated and repulsed I am. I mean I am literally dry heaving with Hobo holiday knowledge and cheer. Did you know the King of the Hobos pardons one “gravy rat” each year? It’s really just a symbolic thing  because as soon as the rat escapes seven or 40 hoboes pounce on it with rusted cutlery that once belonged to a Denny’s. They are a proud and majestic people. I also learned that you can make Hobo Rat Gravy by stuffing a rat into a milk jug, adding equal parts grain alcohol and windshield wiper fluid and fast-aging it near a burning trash can. After a few hours you just add coffee grounds to taste and serve over… well, everything.

You may notice that this comic is going live severely after Thanksgiving. Go ahead. Notice it. I won’t punish you. That’s because I chose to spend the thankful times with those which I am most thankful for: my wife and daughter. Now that we’ve all had enough of each other I can return to those which I am second most thankful for: you guys. You magnificent Fancy Bastards. You may be second in my heart but you will always be first in my something something.

Luna Nueva

UPDATE on TEAM EDWARD SHIRT!!!
Due to overwhelming demand, the Team Edward shirt from this comic is now in the HE Store.

Do you know about The Vault?
Fancy Bastards with Vault access got to see this comic early and read the original script which contains a deleted first panel. There’s also desktops, iPhone wallpapers, behind the scenes art, unfinished comics and bonus HE Podcasts.

Speaking of Podcasts… THE HE PODCAST IS BACK!!!

WHERE’S MONDAY’S COMIC?
Many of you who follow me on Twitter know that we had a family medical emergency with our daughter on Monday and we spent most of the evening in the ER. Everyone is fine now, and I want to thank you all for the outpouring of well wishes and kind words. It really helped me through one of the worst nights of my life.
So… yeah, I don’t think I need to really go into detail about my opinions on

Twilight: New Moon: I’m pretty sure you all know how I feel. Just enjoy the comic for what it’s worth and let us think of more pleasant things. Of vampires that don’t sparkle and do have fangs.

BLACK FRIDAY SALE?
You might want to check store.hijinksensue.com on Friday around 12am… I’m not saying, but I’m just sayin’. Man it smells like savings in here.

BOOK 1 ULTIMATE FANCY PREORDERS
All but 19 UFE’s are sketched and shipped. The rest will leave this week. Thank you so much for your patience. I am trying to make sure the sketches are extra special to make up for the lateness.

SHIPPING DEADLINES
If you are planning on ordering something for the HE Store for the holidays, PLEASE READ!!!

Some of my SHIRTS ship from Topatoco. READ THEIR DEADLINES HERE.

Some of my SHIRTS don’t ship from Topatoco
-12/2 is the cutt off for  International/Canada
-12/9 is the cut off for US orders

BOOKS ship from my home.
-USPS Domestic Priority Mail Regular Editions should be ordered by Dec. 15th
-USPS Domestic Priority Mail Artist Editions should be ordered by Dec 7th
-International Orders probably won’t arrive by 12/25 if you haven’t already ordered them.
Canada and UK may be the exception to the rule since they ship pretty fast, but I can’t guarantee anything at this point.

PRINTS have the same deadlines as Regular Books.

Tales Of Inaccurate Wonderment

“Now aren’t we ALL having more fun?”

[@wilw submitted this comic to Reddit. Cross that one off my “geeky thing to accomplish before I die” list]

hijinks-ensue-godspeed-you-fancy-bastard-book-300x300This comic comes from an actual occurrence at an actual shopping man in actual America. The kids’ dialog is almost entirely lifted from the real life youths I observed. It just struck me as odd that Star Wars is alive and breathing in the lives of these pre-adolescent kids. I assume this is mainly due to The Clone Wars animated series (which I rather despise for being as boring and empty as the prequels).

Return of the Jedi came out in theater’s when I was only 3, and thus the only Star Wars I remember experiencing first hand was The Ewok Adventure (which came out a year later). I had nightmares about getting trapped under a frozen river for… well essentially forever. My point is where as I was at least alive during the decade that the final movie of the original trilogy was released, the Star Wars franchise is probably having larger impact on the lives of kids that were born 20 years after me. Practically as long as they’ve been alive Lucas has been pumping out prequels, CGI movies, cartoon series, toys, costumes, video games, etc. And don’t forget the Internet. THE INTERNET! When a kid signs on to the damned Internet these days they have to select “Star Wars” or “Everything else.” Even when they select “Everything Else” they still get a pop up of C-3PO saying “I have a bad feeling about this.” every 30 seconds.

I’m not complaining. As dry as the franchise is now it still gets kids interested in Sci-Fi and boost their imaginations. I guess I was just surprised at the realization that “my Star Wars” was 30 years old and “their Star Wars” was still being born.

NOTE: This will be the last comic this week so I can catch up on Artist Edition sketching and shipping.

Brother, Can You Spare 50 Million Dimes

Don’t have a lot of time to post with… words… and….

So here’s the facts: Nic Cage owes a metric shit ton of money to the IRS and Johnny Depp stepped in to foot the bill. That’s a Hollywood bromance if there ever was one.

BIG FUN NEWS!!!
I will be a guest at the Dragon Lair Webcomics Weekend Rampage December 12-13 in Austin, TX with Jeph, Danielle, Kurtz, Randy and more! From what I know it’s just going to be a giant webcomics meat meet and greet for 2 days with extra awesome and a dash of good times.

Screen shot 2009-11-16 at 5.59.14 PM

Ever since Wil Wheaton tweeted about and bought the “Holodeck Is For Porn” shirt, they’ve been selling rather well (for the first time). Oh, you don’t know about it? Maybe you should buy one and be one of the cool kids.

The Holodeck Is For Porn Shirt