Therefart iAm

HijiNKS ENSUE Vol 1 Godspeed You Fancy Bastard @ Topatoco

The only I reason I can think of for Apple looking to Phillip Shoemaker, the creator of such apps as “Animal Farts” and the e-urine v-simulatrum “iWiz“, for a leadership position in the App Store is that Steve Jobs has realized his own mortality (being that Apple could easily bring about The Singularity but has chosen to delay the product cycle to better fit with projected Q3 2012 earnings estimates) and is dead set on driving his company into the iFarting ground on his way out.

Just as Willy Wonka sent out his golden tickets to find a suitable heir to his chocolate empire, Jobs created The App Store with the soul purpose of finding the fart-obsessed piss-app monger who could make sure Apple legacy for quality and style would die with him.


Baltimore Comic Con

I will be in the Artist Alley at table A164 with Fancy Bastard Alex (Mechamenchi) at my side. Baltimore was the first show I ever exhibited at and my first taste of seeing experiencing the kindness, generosity and sense of community of you, The Fancy Bastards, in person. One of the biggest highlights of the show was the FB meetup. I would really like to do another Baltimore FB meetup Saturday night August 28th around 7:30 or 8pm. Last year we did it at Hooters because they had a nice deck and could accomidate a good-sized group, but I am open to suggestions for a different meeting place. Please comment below of you think you will be able to make it (and understand that I will be heartbroken if this doesn’t happen since I have been looking forward to it all year).

Posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , .


  1. I'm convinced Jobs is approaching Howard Hughes-style madness. You'll know for sure when he starts wearing Kleenex boxes and building a giant all-wood bomber plane that drops calls when you raise the landing gear.

  2. 'That last app also has a hippo that sharts “Ave Maria.” ' – Gross and brilliant.

    Is the lack of hair why Eli is so often shown wearing a hat?

  3. Damn, won't be anywhere near B'more this time. Aren't there any upper-midwest cons that you could do, say, Corn-Con in Iowa or Cheese-Con in Wisconsin or Horrifying-Deep-Fried-Thing-on-a-Stick-Con here in MN?

  4. OOOOOOO… I wonder if there is a fart-obsessed piss-app LITE that I can download for free. Although, it probably has only 1/8 the amount of piss and 1/32 the amount of farts as the full version 🙁

  5. Holy crap! My wife and I are going to be in Baltimore Saturday evening. We have a flight out of BWI really early the next morning (Sunday). It would be cool to meet up. Lemme check with her to see if she wants to hang.

  6. I'll be there once more! Of course, last year's FB tweet-up was the last time I was in Baltimore, so I'm at a loss for better ideas on eats. I'm in no rush to go to that (or any other) Hooters again, but it'd be a small price to pay.

    • You have to admit, the unbearably stupid waitress was a great story to tell later. Your brother isnt coming?

  7. First nice comic, second I just wanted to point out that when I read this and thought that the thing Josh was eating was disgusting, the banner ads on the side where for Slim Jim, coincidence… I think not.

  8. I'm going to try my best to come out for the meetup and the Con. As for places, to go, I'm going to suggest where I suggested in the FB group: Bad Decisions. The thing is a) they don't serve food, and therefore can't have outdoor seating (Baltimore has a lot of silly laws surrounding food, booze, and performance), b) they're about 10 minutes from the Harbor area and c) it's not a huge place, so it depends on how many people come out. But it is an extremely geek-friendly bar, they'll have drinks you've definitely never had before, and it's cheap.

    That being said….if you're looking for a place in the Harbor that sells food, is pretty casual, and isn't Hooters, I'd steer you to the Uno's on the other side of the Harborplace complex. They also have a pretty big outdoor deck and wouldn't have a problem accomodating a big group – especially if you give them a heads up.

  9. I think Hooters is probably your best bet (I live in Baltimore, but can not attend this year). If you're looking for Bars and such to go to, grab a cab over to Federal Hill or Fells Point. They'll both be on the crowded side since school is in now, but you should be able to find some cool bars (for you beer geeks check out Max's on Broadway – 100 taps and over 350 bottles!).

Leave a Reply