The Spider-Slayers


Preorder HijiNKS ENSUE Book 2!!!The book has to be to the printer in less than 2 weeks so if you want an Ultimate Fancy Edition AND you want your name in the book, you need to order NOW. I am also taking the UFE’s down from 200 to 150 signed and numbered packs due to slower than expected preorders and the impending deadline. Show your support for HE and preorder the shit out of Book 2!

I got a ukulele for Xmas so I decided to make a video of me covering “Fake Plastic Trees” by Radiohead. I had fun making it and you should check it the heck out.

How exactly did Josh get to be an understudy for Spider-man: Take Your Boots Off, You’re Getting Mud All Over the CarpetTurn Off The Dark? It turns out that everyone who has applied for a credit card, rented a car or eaten at a Coldstone Creamery in the last 18 months was automatically signed up in an involuntary, opt-out program known asĀ J. Jonah Jameson’s Jr. Spider Brigade. You also get signed up if close out an ad on a YouTube video. It’s part of their revised EULA.

Anyway, remember that with great sequins come great responsibility and heed the wise, old saying, “Drop 3 or 4 guys from the wire rig, shame on you. Convince me to get in that same wire rig… can’t be fooled again.”

Seriously, the first Fancy Bastard that sees this musical is invited to come on the HE Podcast (via phone) and tell us all about it. Though I will insist that we refer to it as Spider-Man: Pussy Thwipped.

[thanks to @justchristine for the “Bright Eyes” joke from the comments on this comic]


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  1. I predict that one day, road companies of the "Spider Man" musical will be the third leading cause of death, just behind heart disease and Thunderdome.
    BTW, nice video!

  2. Unfortunately, they couldn't quite untangle every corpse from the rigging. So while Josh is up there in the flies, waiting for his queue to descend, he will be treated to the world's most grusome marrionette show. Their unblinking eyes will judge him.

  3. Joel – @JonnyAce and I saw the show on Dec 20th (when the spider fell from the sky), thanks to tickets my parents gave us for Christmas (that they have received a full refund for).

    I have my review of the show here:

    I know Jon and I would both be glad to give you our thoughts on it for/on the podcast. Just let us know when and we'll figure it out.

    Also yay! My joke made it into a comic. I feel all special and junk.

    • Yeah…sounds like Bono is going to have to feed a lot of starving African Orphans to balance out the karmic debt he's accruing from this show.

  4. My friend Nick saw the show, he actually said it wasn't half bad. He also happened to see the performance when the dude ate if off the stage. His review is…here…

    His brother works the set, I don't quite know what his job is, but apparently all the actors on the play read his review. I thought it was quite good.

    • No, Spiderman in a pink costume, with glitter, gloss, and a boa of some type…and a hand brace like you have to wear for carpal tunnel….or doing something else with your hand repeatedly…

  5. Does that mean the Edge and Larry are Antichrist number one and two? Because ever since that Batman nonsense (Kiss Me, Thrill Me, Kill Me), I have wondered about their dark dealings.

  6. "Gay Halloween"? Our Halloween IS Halloween. You guys might celebrate it on the same day, but all you get is some kind of fake plastic Halloween. One that involves children. And flame-retardant "costumes" that consist of pictures of other costumes printed on kid-shaped plastic bags. And nowhere near as much drag.

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