The Spider-Slayers


Preorder HijiNKS ENSUE Book 2!!!The book has to be to the printer in less than 2 weeks so if you want an Ultimate Fancy Edition AND you want your name in the book, you need to order NOW. I am also taking the UFE’s down from 200 to 150 signed and numbered packs due to slower than expected preorders and the impending deadline. Show your support for HE and preorder the shit out of Book 2!

I got a ukulele for Xmas so I decided to make a video of me covering “Fake Plastic Trees” by Radiohead. I had fun making it and you should check it the heck out.

How exactly did Josh get to be an understudy for Spider-man: Take Your Boots Off, You’re Getting Mud All Over the CarpetTurn Off The Dark? It turns out that everyone who has applied for a credit card, rented a car or eaten at a Coldstone Creamery in the last 18 months was automatically signed up in an involuntary, opt-out program known as J. Jonah Jameson’s Jr. Spider Brigade. You also get signed up if close out an ad on a YouTube video. It’s part of their revised EULA.

Anyway, remember that with great sequins come great responsibility and heed the wise, old saying, “Drop 3 or 4 guys from the wire rig, shame on you. Convince me to get in that same wire rig… can’t be fooled again.”

Seriously, the first Fancy Bastard that sees this musical is invited to come on the HE Podcast (via phone) and tell us all about it. Though I will insist that we refer to it as Spider-Man: Pussy Thwipped.

[thanks to @justchristine for the “Bright Eyes” joke from the comments on this comic]


At The Late Night, Double Feature, Pitch Corrected Show

“In just seven days, I can make you a man which is totally cool because now I’m a girl so it’s not gay or anything.”

I can’t tell if last night’s Rocky Horror Glee Show was more of a tribute or a trashing of the cult favorite musical. On one hand it exposed a new generation to Rocky Horror that probably never would have sought it out otherwise (as it has done with Journey and… well probably just Journey), but on the other hand it took the transvestite right out of Transylvania. That’s like Phantom without the opera, Sweeney Todd without the murder pies or Cats without all the terrible songs.

The HijiNKS ENSUE PODCAST IS BACK, but I need your help to keep it alive. The goal is to get 300 monthly donation subscribers by the end of the year. Read more HERE if you enjoy the Podcast and want to help.

Some of it was enjoyable (There’s a certain poetry to John “Uncle Jesse” Stamos playing the part originally played by Meatloaf) but I don’t understand the de-gayification of the lead role of Dr. Frank-N-Furter. As network TV goes, Glee is about as gay as it gets (which isn’t saying much), but right from the get-go they seemed to be dodging the 800 lb gay-rilla in the room. At first Mr. Shue offers super-gay Kurt the lead which he immediately turns down saying that he doesn’t want to wear the outfit. This is the same super-gay Kurt whose normal attire consists of blouses made from evening gowns and evening gowns made from bras. He dresses like Annie Lennox if she was the First Lady. Yet somehow a bustier and nylons were too out there for him.

Ewok Stare Shirt

Then Mercedes, based on a novel Push by Saphire takes the role of Dr. Frank-N-Furter and cannibalizes the lyrics of his signature song. And she does it in such an odd way. Per her lyrics, she is STILL a “transvestive” but she hails from a far less fabulous Transylvania. It’s hard to call it a complete cop out since it was such a confusing choice in the first place.

Anyway, as Wil said, “Dear Guy Who Made Glee: Keep your dirty hands off my Rocky Horror Picture Show, or I will kick you in your nuts. I will do it nine times.”

COMMENTERS: Did you see the episode of Glee in question? What did you think? Do you even still watch Glee? Did you ever?

With Great Power Ballads…

You might be saying, “But I’ve never seen the hit practical joke show Prizzanked on the BROtv network.” And you would be right to say that. Prizzanked actually airs on UPN, which stopped being on the TV some years ago. That’s part of why it’s such a good prank.

I honestly believed the Spider-Man musical, Spider-Man: Change The Light Bulb In The Laundry Room Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark would never actually see the light of day. A series of financial setbacks coupled with the fact that (until now) the universe seemed to be governed by reason left me with the impression that such terrible nonsense would not make it to fruition. Hell, THIS VERY COMIC was founded on the idea that an emo Spider-Man was a mockery of the web-slinger. Now there is video evidence that such a bebangfaced, warbling wall-crawler does in fact star in a very real musical stage play that will be put on for actual human beings to… enjoy?

I guess the possibility still exists that on opening night the crowd will take their seats, the lights will dim, the curtain will rise and some jackhole in a trucker hat will run out and individually punch every person in the theater square in the balls.

Just for fun, here are a few more jabs from the host of Prizzanked to Bono:
“Uno! Dos! Tres! Fourteen! PRIZZANKED!”
“She want lemon? SHE WANT PRIZZANKED!”
“Where the streets have no name, except for that one street PRIZZANKED AVENUE!”
And finally, “Hold me, thrill me, kiss me, PRIZZANK ME! Chump.”

Comment Challenge: Rename Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark
[Inspired by FB JustChristine who came up with Spiderman: Turn Around Bright Eyes]

Wicked Deeds

Don’t have any idea what GaGa is gogoing on about in panel 3? Have a watch/listen or a read.

It’s only a week away! This is my first year exhibiting and I humbly ask that you Fancy Bastards come out and say hi (specifically to me). I will be in the Webcomics Pavillion (handy/shittily made map) at the giant Topatoco booth (#1231) with many of your other favorite internet-style cartoonists.

FB’s JustChristine and JonnyAce wants to organize a meetup for sometime during the con. Thursday night I will be at W00tstock, so it will have to be one of the other days. If you are interested make a comment. If enough people are interested we can make an event on the Fancy Bastards Facebook page. Since I expect a meetup will get planned at the last minute (thats how these things work) make sure to follow me on Twitter for minute to minute updates as to what’s going on.

In all seriousness, money is VERY tight at the HijiNKS household right now so if you want to support HE and see it continue for hundreds of years to come, please MAKE A DONATION or BUY SOMETHING FROM THE STORE.



Of Mice and Musicals

I found out during recording of HijiNKS Ensue Podcast #21 that the legion horde of Whedon Zombies brought down with a swiftness. Mmmm, delicious server brains.

I still haven’t seen the first episode of “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-A-Long Blog.” The fact that there exists Whedon songs in the universe that aren’t already stuck in my head fills me with unspeakable sadness.  You can still get it on iTunes, but I’m going to wait and watch it on the official site to get the full “DHSAB” experience.

Post your thoughts on Whedon’s web-musical in the comments or on the Fancy Bastard Forum.

Also, check out the DONATIONS page. If you want to subscribe for a recurring monthly donation, you now have that option. If you don’t know why anyone might consider donating, please read all about “The Experiment.