Catches Fleas Just Like Flies

The Fancy Sketch Drive ends on Wednesday 7/11/12!

San Diego Comic-Con is this week! I will be hanging out at booth 1332 with Blind Ferret. Check my Twitter for signing times and availability. More info HERE.

Grammar Dalek Shirts will go on presale after I get back from SDCC.

Big thanks to Mark Waid of Daredevil and Thrillbent for the shout out to HE at the end of this Onion AV Club interview about digital comics.

This comic was inspired by and features the second appearance of my cat, Replay. [UPDATE: Fancy Bastard Stephen found another instance of Replay in the comic archive.] My other, stupider cat’s name is Tivo. They both hate commercials. The title is derived from how my daughter actually sang the theme song to the 60’s Spider-Man cartoon show when she was 4 years old. It seemed oddly appropriate.

I wrote up a bunch of thoughts on Twitter about The Amazing Spider-Man after seeing the movie. Rather than paraphrase, I am just going to post it all below. COMMENTERS: Feel free to post your thoughts on ASM in the comments. I would say, “No spoilers,” but how can you spoil a story that’s been told 100 times over the last 50 years? [words in blue are from Twitter followers]

  • Saw Amazing Spider-Man. Sam Raimi’s Spider is to Tim Burton’s Batman as ASM is to Batman Begins.
  • That isn’t to say that it’s vastly superior. Raimi and Burton’s movies we’re 90’s era comics come to life. ASM and BB are more grounded.
  • Raimi and Burton were all about spectacle and showmanship. ASM and Bat-Nolan are all about characters.
  • Spider-Man and Batman had strikingly similar arcs in the first 3 movies. Good, better, FUCKING BAT COUNTRY.
  • @hijinksensue That’s exactly how I feel about Raimi’s films. They’re live-action cartoons. They’re fun, but don’t hold up 10 years later.
  • yeah they are very time capsulesque. Beyond their era they stick out like a sore thumb.
  • .@imariaprime I don’t think there was “filler” in ASM, but it was tough to sit through Spiderman’s origin story for 40 min AGAIN.
  • They tweaked the origin enough to keep it familiar but fresh but sitting there waiting for Uncle Ben to give the speech and die was tough.
  • But they HAVE to cover that ground to allow the new trilogy to stand on its own. Can’t skip straight to the sequel.
  • Ok nevermind. They could have spent 15 minutes recapping or streamlining the origin.
  • As far as actors go, Garfield blew McGuire out of the water.
  • @hijinksensue was never a fan of maguire as peter Parker. Although that could have something to do with how badly he was written
  • @OfDoomReview wife and I had the same conversation tonight. You can only work with what you’re given.
  • Also happy to report that the annoying things about the costume in ASM aren’t nearly as noticeable in the actual film as in the press photos
  • You never even see the magic silver slippers. The basketball texture is still weird but not as detestable as I was expecting.
  • @Noahsturdevant since his name was tossed around, Gyllenhaal would have made a better Spiderman than McGuire.
  • And Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy? Let’s just say I wouldn’t throw HER off a bridge to her death. #what #noidea

My Fashion Sense Is Tingling

HijiNKS ENSUE British Knights Shirt at TopatocoThere is a new HE Podcast.
Download episode 77!

You can still order Ultimate Fancy Editions of HE Book 2 AND get your name in the book until I tell you otherwise. Could be a few more days, or longer. Not Sure Yet. There are about 30 left and selling them ALL is super important in order for me to afford the full print run without having to go into the red.

Coveralls and Corduroys is my combination Deathcab For Cutie/Devo cover band. Speaking of #w00tstock jokes, The regional hockey team fan pictured above is none other than my friend Stephen “Stepto” Toulouse.  He tweeted the inspiration for this comic. He is also the chief banhammer wielder for X-Box Live, and the author of “A Microsoft Life,” a chronicle of his 15 years at a giant company run by nerds. He also told the story that inspired the BARMAGEDDONBECUE.

Regarding teenage superhero’s costumes and the suspension of disbelief: it isn’t like Peter Park has access to Edna freakin’ Mode from The Incredibles. He has to be his own seamstress, and I don’t think the local Hobby Lobby caries a 60/40 kevlar/carbon nanotube blend. Plus Aunt May probably has a really shitty sewing machine. The bobbin is always loose and the foot pedals hardly work. It would be much more likely that Peter would swing out his bedroom window wearing a patchwork get up made of an old afghan and a few doilies. At best maybe a Uncle Ben would have an old disco speed suit in the attic.

Even if he could produce this space-flubber suit, have you ever worn a latex mask for any length of time? It’s horrible. It’s like encasing your head in claustrophobia. One time at the mall I put on a full-on Michael Keaton Batman cowl and I nearly had a panic attack. I certainly was in NO MOOD to fight crime. I might have committed a few had the mask not completely blocked my peripheral vision.

COMMENTERS: What do you think of the new Spider-suit? What about the rumor that new Spidey will have mechanical webshooters? Feel free to comment on those or any of the other stories below.

Spider-Man News:

More Super Hero Movie Costume News:

The Spider-Slayers


Preorder HijiNKS ENSUE Book 2!!!The book has to be to the printer in less than 2 weeks so if you want an Ultimate Fancy Edition AND you want your name in the book, you need to order NOW. I am also taking the UFE’s down from 200 to 150 signed and numbered packs due to slower than expected preorders and the impending deadline. Show your support for HE and preorder the shit out of Book 2!

I got a ukulele for Xmas so I decided to make a video of me covering “Fake Plastic Trees” by Radiohead. I had fun making it and you should check it the heck out.

How exactly did Josh get to be an understudy for Spider-man: Take Your Boots Off, You’re Getting Mud All Over the CarpetTurn Off The Dark? It turns out that everyone who has applied for a credit card, rented a car or eaten at a Coldstone Creamery in the last 18 months was automatically signed up in an involuntary, opt-out program known as J. Jonah Jameson’s Jr. Spider Brigade. You also get signed up if close out an ad on a YouTube video. It’s part of their revised EULA.

Anyway, remember that with great sequins come great responsibility and heed the wise, old saying, “Drop 3 or 4 guys from the wire rig, shame on you. Convince me to get in that same wire rig… can’t be fooled again.”

Seriously, the first Fancy Bastard that sees this musical is invited to come on the HE Podcast (via phone) and tell us all about it. Though I will insist that we refer to it as Spider-Man: Pussy Thwipped.

[thanks to @justchristine for the “Bright Eyes” joke from the comments on this comic]


With Great Power Ballads…

You might be saying, “But I’ve never seen the hit practical joke show Prizzanked on the BROtv network.” And you would be right to say that. Prizzanked actually airs on UPN, which stopped being on the TV some years ago. That’s part of why it’s such a good prank.

I honestly believed the Spider-Man musical, Spider-Man: Change The Light Bulb In The Laundry Room Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark would never actually see the light of day. A series of financial setbacks coupled with the fact that (until now) the universe seemed to be governed by reason left me with the impression that such terrible nonsense would not make it to fruition. Hell, THIS VERY COMIC was founded on the idea that an emo Spider-Man was a mockery of the web-slinger. Now there is video evidence that such a bebangfaced, warbling wall-crawler does in fact star in a very real musical stage play that will be put on for actual human beings to… enjoy?

I guess the possibility still exists that on opening night the crowd will take their seats, the lights will dim, the curtain will rise and some jackhole in a trucker hat will run out and individually punch every person in the theater square in the balls.

Just for fun, here are a few more jabs from the host of Prizzanked to Bono:
“Uno! Dos! Tres! Fourteen! PRIZZANKED!”
“She want lemon? SHE WANT PRIZZANKED!”
“Where the streets have no name, except for that one street PRIZZANKED AVENUE!”
And finally, “Hold me, thrill me, kiss me, PRIZZANK ME! Chump.”

Comment Challenge: Rename Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark
[Inspired by FB JustChristine who came up with Spiderman: Turn Around Bright Eyes]

It Takes Brass Balloons


“We’re adding a little something to this party’s Pin The Tail On The Donkey game. As you all know first prize is a Sega Genesis. Anyone wanna see second prize? Second prize is a set of POGS. Third prize is you’re fired. Get the picture? You laughing now?”

“Wait. Fired? Like From the Party? Or the family?!”

As a True Believer[TM] and a lifelong Spider-Man fan, I only feel relief at the mercy killing of most recent Raimi/Macguire Spider-Man movie. After Spider-Man 3 (which was so turdtastic that I started a webcomic just to bitch about it), I really have no interest in any continuation of that particular franchise. I swear if I ever meet James Franco I’m just going to punch him right in the head. He should know better. Shame on you, James Franco. A thousand times, shame.Continue reading