The Spider-Slayers


Preorder HijiNKS ENSUE Book 2!!!The book has to be to the printer in less than 2 weeks so if you want an Ultimate Fancy Edition AND you want your name in the book, you need to order NOW. I am also taking the UFE’s down from 200 to 150 signed and numbered packs due to slower than expected preorders and the impending deadline. Show your support for HE and preorder the shit out of Book 2!

I got a ukulele for Xmas so I decided to make a video of me covering “Fake Plastic Trees” by Radiohead. I had fun making it and you should check it the heck out.

How exactly did Josh get to be an understudy for Spider-man: Take Your Boots Off, You’re Getting Mud All Over the CarpetTurn Off The Dark? It turns out that everyone who has applied for a credit card, rented a car or eaten at a Coldstone Creamery in the last 18 months was automatically signed up in an involuntary, opt-out program known as J. Jonah Jameson’s Jr. Spider Brigade. You also get signed up if close out an ad on a YouTube video. It’s part of their revised EULA.

Anyway, remember that with great sequins come great responsibility and heed the wise, old saying, “Drop 3 or 4 guys from the wire rig, shame on you. Convince me to get in that same wire rig… can’t be fooled again.”

Seriously, the first Fancy Bastard that sees this musical is invited to come on the HE Podcast (via phone) and tell us all about it. Though I will insist that we refer to it as Spider-Man: Pussy Thwipped.

[thanks to @justchristine for the “Bright Eyes” joke from the comments on this comic]


With Great Power Ballads…

You might be saying, “But I’ve never seen the hit practical joke show Prizzanked on the BROtv network.” And you would be right to say that. Prizzanked actually airs on UPN, which stopped being on the TV some years ago. That’s part of why it’s such a good prank.

I honestly believed the Spider-Man musical, Spider-Man: Change The Light Bulb In The Laundry Room Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark would never actually see the light of day. A series of financial setbacks coupled with the fact that (until now) the universe seemed to be governed by reason left me with the impression that such terrible nonsense would not make it to fruition. Hell, THIS VERY COMIC was founded on the idea that an emo Spider-Man was a mockery of the web-slinger. Now there is video evidence that such a bebangfaced, warbling wall-crawler does in fact star in a very real musical stage play that will be put on for actual human beings to… enjoy?

I guess the possibility still exists that on opening night the crowd will take their seats, the lights will dim, the curtain will rise and some jackhole in a trucker hat will run out and individually punch every person in the theater square in the balls.

Just for fun, here are a few more jabs from the host of Prizzanked to Bono:
“Uno! Dos! Tres! Fourteen! PRIZZANKED!”
“She want lemon? SHE WANT PRIZZANKED!”
“Where the streets have no name, except for that one street PRIZZANKED AVENUE!”
And finally, “Hold me, thrill me, kiss me, PRIZZANK ME! Chump.”

Comment Challenge: Rename Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark
[Inspired by FB JustChristine who came up with Spiderman: Turn Around Bright Eyes]