The Mystery Box

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts, nerdy shirts

BIG NEWS! The HijiNKS ENSUE Store will be shutting down for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] If there is a shirt you want, and you DON’T WANT to wait until sometime after San Diego Comicon, you should probably buy it now. This week will be your last chance for a at least a few weeks. Please check out this blog post to see which designs won’t be coming back, in case you want one of those.

NEWS 2: I will be at San Diego Comicon at the Blind Ferret Booth with Least I Could Do, Looking For Group, GuttersGirls With Slingshots and possibly more. It’s going to be a blast and a frakking half.

Make sure you check out my guest comic over at Sam & Fuzzy! It is one of my favorite things that I have ever made (for serious). It stars Sam, Jeph and me and finally brings to life my favorite of Sam’s intentionally terrible shirt ideas all the way back from SDCC 2010.

Sam And Fuzzy Guest Comic

To Josh, vaginas might as well be the Higgs boson particle. He can see evidence of their existence and their perceived effect on objects around them, but he can’t directly view them or fully understand their purpose.

I still haven’t seen a single episode of Game Of Thrones, but from what I understand the season is nearly over so I should be able to acquire it and binge the whole thing over a weekend pretty soon. The typical post show review I see on the Twitters goes something like: “OMG GAMEOFTHRONES WTFBALLS?!?!?!! WHY IS THIS SHOW SO RAPEY?! ALSO WHY IS IT SO GOOOOOOOD?!?!?!? #aGameOfRape #aRapeOfThrones #twincest #soooorapey #sexslaves #bestshow” Being the world’s foremost Internet cryptographer, I am able to feed those mad ramblings into my Code-puter, cross reference them with The Talmud and decipher what is essentially a positive review. Good enough for me.

COMMENTERS: I Feel free to post your spoiler free thoughts on the Game Of Thrones television program or other stuff. You know. Whatever.

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34 Comments

  1. LOL! That is exactly my husbands view of the vaginal realms. He can't even walk down the tampon isle in the market without making a rude comment.

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  2. I am also waiting to watch it all at once. With on demand, Netflix and "other" methods of watching shows, waiting a week for a new single episode blows. I want to devour 3-4 episodes in a row.

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    • Yeah, I got HBO On Demand, so I can watch every episode whenever I want, until August. And since I'm only 4 episodes in to Camelot, I gotta hurry!

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  3. I'm calling bullshit on this one, I've seen one vagina as an adult male, and it looked nothing like that drawing.

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    • To be fair, wasn't it Jen's? She might not be like the other girls.

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      • Oh ho, what's this? Josh, making visual contact with ladyparts? How did THIS happen?!

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        • Ahh… wait aminnit! He doesn't actually say the vagina was connected to a woman. Did he work as a farm hand at one point?

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    • Depends which way you were looking. If it looked like ¿ then you were either looking at a Latina's vagina or you were upside down and looking at a non-Latina one.

      Rule of thumb: supine Va-jj …. ? non-Latina ¿ Latina
      So Simple
      Trust the doctor.

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      • But since it WAS Jen's… I'm guessing it was more like !!

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        • You're my favorite.

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    • Fleshlights don't count.

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  4. This puts all of the Mario series in a really disturbing light…

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    • I'd hit it…. by jumping, from underneath.

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    • Mario did love pounding those mystery boxes….

      (my childhood has been further defiled)

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  5. I love the #wincest tag thrown in with the other ones. Wrong fandom there (though I'll admit I have no idea what name the GoT fandom uses for that pairing).^^
    Also, btw, there *are* gay characters in this show, though granted, we haven't seen that much of them, sadly.

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    • Well, the #twincest thing (I think you missed the T)…. dammit I can't say without spoiling one of the eps… let's just say, not all twins are the same gender

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  6. Been watching GoT all season and yes, somehow the awesome doubles every program. Blame George R.R. Martin. Saving it up for a season 1 binge is a good call, as next week's is the final for the season. Won't get into details … don't want to spoil anything for you. Then again, the book's been out since 96 or 97.

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    • Yeah if you read the books theres nothing to spoil. Its pretty much scene for scene with the book just mixing up the order. Its a fun watch but I think I would be enjoying it more if they had went the True Blood route of maintaining the overall story arc with radically different smaller stories and new characters.

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  7. Just tossing it out there: there is a bit of Knight-On-Dude action. HBO doesn't seem to discriminate when it comes to sex – it can be had by all.

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    • At this point the only thing I'm surprised about is there's been no knight-on-horse action

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      • The word fuck is said more than the word kill in this series so not even that would surprise me.

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        • fuck, my mistake. There WAS Knight-on-horse action… First with the jousting, then with Gregor Clegane taking on his horse mano en equo

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  8. Is it "hoboes"? I always thought it was "hobos".

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    • both are correct.

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    • It depends, "hoboes refers to two vagrants, such as "Thous hoboes from down the street are fighting over a trash-bag full of frozen waffles." Whereas "hobos" refers to more then two. "The hobos are flocking this way."

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  9. Gerr Err Err Merr sure does like him some surprise sex.

    Oh, and that bunny-mask reference in panel 1? It now ranks up there on my nightmare list with Frank from Donnie Darko and that weird fur-suit scene from The Shining.

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  10. On Game of Thrones: Well, you've probably heard the saying "The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray". In Georg R.R. Martins books the best laid plans get mugged, raped, stabbed and left to die in a back ally.

    Martin doesn't tell a story where the handsome prince goes and rescues the damsal in distress. He tells a story where the handsome prince rides off to rescue the damsal in distress but his horse goes lame, he gets lost in the woods and stumbles into some bandits who kill him, steal his armor and eat his horse (in a stew with potatoes, carrots and some fennel) but that night they are attacked by wolves and are slaughtered except for one who escapes to a local village where the breastplate he's wearing is recognized as having been the princes so they hang him as a thief. A wandering hedge knight takes the breastplate and picks up the cause of the damsal in distress but upon reaching her captors castle he discovers she murdered her captor, is heavy with his child and has claimed his lords titles as her own, imprisoning the knight until he recognizes her claim and becomes her lover/thrall. Meanwhile the dead bandits have apparently risen as werwolves and are terrorizing the village that hung their friend.

    He tell's a damn good story, but it's never the story you expect. Which can be both good and bad.

    Funny that people are complaining about the sex. I don't remember the books being that sexy… well there was sex in them but I don't remember the books being explicit where as tv is a visual media and thus explicit by nature. And the producers/directors of the show certainly aren't going out of their way to tone it down. But on the whole I'm happier with sexy bits than with gory bits anyway, so no complaints here.

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    • nice summary.. apt

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    • Yes very well written. I especially like the eating the horse part. GRRM seems inordinately fixated on food which he describes in vivid detail many, many times in the book thankfully that doesn't translate to tv.

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      • Oh don't worry, Guy Fieri will be a character in season two to explain all the meals.

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      • Anne MacCaffrey does the same thing. I always get hungry when reading any of the Pern books, especially the Harper Hall Trilogy.

        Discovering her books in high school probably caused me to gain 20 pounds.

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  11. I couldn't find my way around a vag with Xena and Gabrielle as my fiesty Amazonian guides. The closest I've ever gotten to one was watching the movie TEETH. I think it made me more Gay….

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    • Probably not the best viewing for the vaginally uninitiated

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      • Wow, that bites.

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