The Greatest Generation

Hey, as long as you’re on the Internet, go buy some books and shirts from my store!

Alls I’m saying is human beings have never had as easy of a go at it as we (the children of tomorrow which is today) do, and that makes us the best. I mean, sure there are still places on this very planet in the year 2013 where armies of heroine addicted children murder each other with machine guns, but HAVE YOU SEEEEEN all the new shit coming out of CES? I heard that one phone company is going to make another phone! And it’s BLUE! A BLUE PHONE?! Have you ever even? I mean… Do you think this is what Jesus was talking about when he said, “Man, I sure hope one day people can obsess over cross platform app compatibility and social ┬ámedia privacy policies, whatever those things might be. Then we’ll really have this humanity thing figured out and we can start working on the hard stuff, like properly attributing funny photos on Tumblr… again, whatever that could possibly be. I have no idea. Oh, crap. Here come the Romans.”

Seriously, though. If I can’t get this Twitter app to sync my read location and mute filters across all my devices I am seriously going to have to think long and hard about… switching, uh… switching Twitter apps.


COMMENTERS: What amazing magical wonder technology do you find yourself complaining about the most? Bonus points if it’s something that didn’t even exist a few years ago (meaning you obviously somehow got along without it).

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  1. Just the other day I was having problems syncing my iCloud (Mac user) to my Google Cloud (Chrome user) to my Microsoft Cloud (Windows Phone user). Why do we need so many different clouds?!

  2. I disparagingly refer to my phone a a very stupid smart phone.
    I don't have data, so I only use the internet on wireless networks. I get hours behind on twitter sometimes!
    Sometimes facebook crashes for NO REASON!
    The touch screen isn't very good so sometimes I hit the wrong number on my sudoku app. And the dictionary refuses to remember my name so I have to type it manually every time.

  3. How long it takes High Definition streaming video of obtained from servers sitting thousands of kilometers away from me to be automatically transmitted with light bending through glass cables buried underground, THEN spewing wirelessly via encoded microwave radiation from special towers built on skyscrapers to properly buffer on my mobile computing device with billions of times the computing power of the spacecraft that first brought man to the moon. WHY IS THE GREY BAR THERE IF THE VIDEO ISN'T READY <ragequit>

  4. Playing some big name game releases recently I've caught myself lamenting at how much content is included for my purchase… "Why are there so many Gorram games to play, why are they all so long… I don't have enough tiiiiiiiiiiime"

    But seriously, it's a problem, I don't know if I'll survive if someone doesn't take a stand.

  5. F#$%. I was cleaning my apartment this weekend, found a huge stack of Zip disks. I literally stood, frozen, for 5 minutes trying to decide if I would again boot up one of my 2 old Mac G4s, just to get "information" off those Zip disks. Or if I should throw the disks away.
    The thought process went something like, "That is the ONLY removable format those computers have. Do I have an external CD burner, older than USB 2, that I could plug into that to burn this "information?"

    10 years ago, I thought "this is the only computer I will ever need. I can just upgrade it forever!"

    • I was moving some files on the 32GB SDHC card out of my wife's camera yesterday and realized that 10 years ago the largest hard drive i'd ever owned was 20gb (actually 18gb after it was formatted) and it was one of those big ass, larger than normal sized drives that fit in a CD rom bay instead of an HD bay. It weight at least a few pounds and was probably 6.5 inches by 5.25 inches by 1.5 inches thick. It was a beast, it was incredibly expensive and it didn't hold nearly as much data as the $30 postage stamp in my pocket.

  6. FUTURE?!!! Clearly we live in one of mankinds darkest ages!!! The video quality of the Breaking Bad episode I was watching through the Netflix app on my Blu Ray player was just barely HD. I'm sure this is equal to the suffering our ancestors felt when the cave paintings would get smudged. No… The future is at least a millennium away.

    • Hmm… it has actually been a number of years, hasn't it? I tend not to want to write for them because the dialog is so hard to come up with, but they do deserve another go 'round.

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