Rebuffed

A “Buffy” Movie without Joss Whedon? I will simply state that I am not in favor of this idea. But, I am self aware enough to admit that I am not an unbiased observer and am probably unable to render an wholly  objective opinion on the subject. That is why I will gladly leave it up to you to read through this copious amount of bipartisan material:

then deliver judgment on the matter in the comments.

Now since I’m not commenting on whether or not it’s a good idea (it’s a fraking terrible idea), I do want to delve into the reasons why this issue has surfaced. The company that owns the film rights to the Buffster (which is NOT Mutant Enemy) is probably represeted by people that A) have eyes B) have wallets and C) desire to fill said wallets with something other than coleslaw… let’s say money. So they can undoubtably see that the nation’s youth is going through a “vampire phase” brought on by the “Twilight” series of  books and movies. They think, “Kids like the vampires and we have a vampire property ripe for rebootification!” What they may not realize is that “Twilight” borrows so heavily from “Buffy” that to remake “Buffy” based on the success of “Twilight” is like remaking “Teen Wolf” based on the success of “Teen Wolf Too.” It’s a fucking paradox. Buffy would be its own grandpa! The snake would eat its own tail and eventually shit out its own face! I think my metaphor got a little out of hand, but you get the idea.

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66 Comments

  1. So how long till we get the Joss-less "Serenity" remake?

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    • Gyah!! Bite your tongue man!

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    • that makes me want to curse in Chinese.

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      • 咬自己的舌头男子!
        (Bite your tongue man!)

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    • Can't they already wrote it and it is called Star Trek: Nemesis

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  2. love the hot topic t-shirt in the comic

    buffy sans joss = poor choice

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    • Actually, at the Wal-Mart out here they have a whole line of Twilight t-shirts….just like that one. So she may just have gotten it from Wal-Mart.

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      • oh no. this kid shops at the hots topics.

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  3. 1) Can't he just stake that girl in the eye?

    2) Um….Buffy Remake? I'm too young to be hearing about them remaking Buffy. And on the heels of this Twilight BS? Oh, I weep.

    3) the add at the bottom of the page is tfaw.com and it is a Buffy ass. (Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Time of Your Life. The latest chapter of Buffy season 8 is here!) For once, a proper connection from Googleads.

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    • "it is a Buffy Ass."

      That was somehow appropriate.

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      • Not sure if I should throw out that English is not my first language, or just leave this one as it is so all may enjoy Buffy ass.

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  4. Hate to point this out, but there's a typo in panel 1, bubble 1. "But their love 'it' totally forbidden and stuff." Sorry. :(

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  5. i will only support the reboot if luke perry reprises his role

    wait, is he still alive?

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    • I think they're keeping him in a cryogenic stasis, only to be let out if they decide to do a BTVS and/or 90210 reboot (I know they already did that, but I'm talking about one with the original characters).

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    • That MIGHT be bearable. But still… I now fear the destruction of the time-space continium. It could be that bad.

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  6. Thank you IMDB, for keeping my foot out of my mouth.

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  7. So is Buffy the Simpsons of vampires (as in "Buffy did it first")?

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    • I think you have to go back to Anne Rice for that.

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      • I'd go with Vlad the Impaler

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  8. Not to drop a box of fuck on this, but Buffy is the stupidest fucking show ever. -Not least the reason is that Sarah Michelle Geller couldn't act her fucking way off a toilet seat. The entire portion of her goddamned brain, which is, in most actors, the good kind, the part that equips you to suggest to others that you are not you, but someone else, a "character" of some difference than the one typically running around with cappuccinos and home-pregnancy tests, totally fucking missing and filled with glitter, adderall, and more home pregnancy tests.

    She is such a bad actor, I cannot believe that Hollywood has not pushed her out of the business like a rectum squeezing shit through an anus.

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    • Bitter much?

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    • It's a generally accepted fact among Buffy fans that the series is good DESPITE her, not BECAUSE of her. Having only seen the first season so far (which is also generally accepted as the worst one), I can't say one way or the other. Besides SMG, what did you hate so passionately about the Buffy series?

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      • Seth Green, the Flute Rapist, and the dyslexic retard–really, only the English guy and the snotty girl were in any way enjoyable. It should have just been the two of them running around handling shit. But also, the COMPLETE suspension of disbelief called for that the town's, what? -Some emunctory light-rail system of Hell, and when it's not scheduled for arrival, everyone's dicking-around like nothing's happening. At least in Angel, it was their job to go fix this shit. But you cant just explain it away as interchangeable with an afterschool gig at JCPenny!

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        • Please do not feed the trolls…

          Dude, I'm sure you're here to enjoy the comic and that's fine, but seriously the only response you'll get knocking Buffy amongst this geek crowd in this manner is a kick out the fucking door.

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        • For someone who hates the show, you seemed to have watched quite a bit.

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          • 'Cause I had giggly tittering girl roommates that titterly giggering watched the show as they giggerling tittery ordered from their Delia's catologs and complained about lack of parking on campus. And I just sat there, cutting the inside of my palms with an klingon bird-of-prey micro-machine.

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    • Charisma Carpenter, is that you?

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      • just the jugs, babydoll

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    • Watch it bub you're walking into seriously dangerous territory. A school Buffy fans are known be able to devour a cow in under a minute. Now just turn around and go home before something terrible happens to you.

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  9. I remember back in the day vampires used to be cool. Thanks to Twilight they have been degraded to nothing more than fodder for the fantasies of twelve year old girls. A Buffy movie without Joss is stupid; it's his baby. He made that show what it was, he developed the huge fan base. I also think making this movie without any of the characters we know and love is pointless, and as much as I love Buffy I think it had it's run and can rest in peace now. Half the geeks I've ever met are die hard Whedon fans and will probably boycott the movie just because he's not involved, myself included.

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  10. The idea of anything Buffy without Joss is absurd. I thought Buffy remakes were something that I would have to wait at least 20 years before dealing with. The industry is running out of ideas at an accelerated rate.

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    • Hi Aaron, I'm Aaron 😉

      Anyway, I have to disagree. This project is doomed from the start because it thumbs its nose at Joss, not because Joss isn't involved. I'm sure that Joss could hand over control of a Buffyverse film in a way that would ensure its quality. I'm not saying that a new film needs to have the same people or the same jokes or even the same feel. A true reboot might be interesting, but the way this started just smells like someone wanted to see if they could wring some dollars out of an otherwise unused set of rights they owned.

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      • Hey Aarons, I'm Aaron as well. 😉

        So, I agree with Aaron #1's comment about the movie industry running out of topics at a way too quick pace to consider Buffy for a remake. However (and I guess in disagreement with Aaron #2's comment about the unlikely success of the film), I think that if the first Buffy movie (with Kristy Swanson as the eponymous heroine) is more or less the prequel to the events that unfolded in the WB/UPN drama we've all come to love and worship, a movie that is being made outside of that existing universe would be interesting to watch, which may draw out the die-hard fans (myself included) to see it for curiousity's sake.

        I mean, if nothing else, hopefully it will show those whiny Twilight fans what a REAL vampire story should look like.

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  11. I think it's time for a Whedon-less "Ripper."

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    • If Tony head was on board I would watch that.

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  12. Also Peewee Herman

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    • Seconded. We NEED more Paul Reubens, I don't care which character he's sending up.

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  13. I agree, this is just a case of dollar signs in the eyes of those that own the rights to Buffy. Whedon brought the magic to Buffy with the TV show, the prior movie was campy at best, and poorly received. The only way they could even remotely TRY to pull off a "Vampire Slayer" story is to have a new slayer..not "Buffy". And don't even get me started as to how that can't happen with the way the series ended! Hmm, maybe it could be the slayer BEFORE buffy? Kind of a retro/prequel thing?

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  14. Joss did try to write Buffy The Movie the way the TV show worked out. But he sold it to the people who made the film and they fucked around with his ideas. They made a campy teen movie instead of his original idea. And those same people are behind this new movie. I agree the only way it works is to make a Vampire Slayer movie sans Buffy. A prequel or distant future (a la Fray) story. And of course if Joss was in charge.

    Someone has to have already mentioned this show hasn't even been off the air for ten years yet.

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    • Thank god, I was going to say:

      What happens when a Buffy movie is made without Joss's control, why the original "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"

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  15. I sent this to my sister.

    Consequently, if you're harassed in poorly-worded e-mails by 15-year-old girls, I'm sorry.

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  16. Just a quick note, the first Buffy movie… was Whedonless too. Then the tv show came out. If we can go ahead and just pray to all our hethen gods that this won't just be a twilight wannabe ripoff, it might be like the comedy movie. Until I see cast or plot descriptions… I will reserve my judgment.

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    • ACtually it wasnt. Joss created Buffy then sold the script/ rights to a studio. They rewrote it and shot what they wanted.

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  17. I would fully support this if the reboot vamps are Twilight Sparkle Bunny Princess Vamps & Buffy is an independent young women who doesn't need a frail castrato male to fill her head with savior fantasies and sex phobias. DEATH TO FANGLESS ABOMINATIONS!!!

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    • Amen, brutha.

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    • I just wanna see Buffy stake the fuck out of the Twilight undead "I rarely put up with this emo shit from Angel and I loved him – you think I'm gonna let you whining creeps survive???"

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      • She finished the job in Sunnydale. I'd get behind a road trip movie to Forks, Washington.

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  18. Putting aside the exclusion of Whedon, I might not have been so opposed to this if they had just WAITED a little longer. Buffy hasn't even been off the air for a decade yet. Do we really need a reboot this soon? And if it IS good (doubtful, but possible) it's just going to get lumped into the "Vampire Phase" and not really have that much of an affect. It'll just be boring and repetitive.I just think it's really stupid from BOTH standpoints.

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    • You're assuming the people behind this want to lovingly create a franchise which, while initially perhaps not tremendously financially successful, will nevertheless gather a devoted cult following and become fondly remembered as opposed to, y'know, making them a shitload of cash over mindless blockbuster season before sinking back into obscurity… The people behind this project have no interest in nurturing Whedon's baby when they can just metaphorically sell that same baby to rich celebrity parents for a quick profit.

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  19. Ah, okay. Thanks for clarifying.

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  20. I'm pretty skeptical myself, but I'm holding out hope that the Kuzuis will handle this beloved story with the care and respect it deserves. I personally can only accept the original BTVS movie because it didn't have the show as it's precedent and it serves as a sort of background story for the show that followed.

    I can understand and respect their decision to not include the original characters because it probably would cause more hair-pulling and teeth gnashing from die-hard fans than the radical notion of the movie remake already has. I just hope that they keep with the well-established vampire mythos and try not to dumb it down to appeal to the Twilight-loving ninnies out there. Here's to hoping that they do it justice.

    Oh, and it may just be that I only just earlier saw "Daria: Is It College Yet?" for the first time a few hours ago, but Joel, the girl with the killer brown roots in your comic totally smacks of Miss Morgendorfer herself. Kudos on another awesome strip.

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  21. Eek! It's Emo Francine, from Whatever-Seth-McFarlane's-Painfully-Unfunny-Spinoff-Of-The-Painfully-Unfunny-Family-Guy-Was-Called.

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  22. Yeah, it would be like doing another Star Wars cartoon, but not using Genndy Tartakovsky… oh, wait…

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  23. Actually, after reading those articles, I have some cautious interest in the idea. There's a pretty good chance it can and will suck, of course, but there were some good points made about how the general tendency of fans is to assume that the current creative team is always the best and only possible choice, and that bringing in someone new will always be a mistake.

    But I'm a Doctor Who fan, and we know better. :) Sometimes, a fresh perspective can be just what a concept needs, and I gotta admit, Joss has pretty much driven the franchise up a blind alley (they've left the strong original concept, "high school is hell", so far behind it's not even a dot in the rearview mirror by now.) So if they get quality writers and directors, and let them take their own, inventive approach to the basic idea…yeah, I think it could be good.

    That said, it probably won't be.

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  24. This would explain why Buffy tells me to be Mormon in my dreams.

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  25. The Whedon-less Buffy reboot makes me want to throw up. 😛 Unfortunately anything remotely related to vampires and romance can be considered a Twilight rippoff by some of young fans. Even Vampire Diaries books by LJ Smith (which is being a new TV show on the CW) is getting ripped by some Twilight fans as a a "twilight copy". I love it as a young adult and I know its not a masterpiece certainly, but you can't plagiarize something if it was published 13 years before Twilight.

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  26. "What they may not realize is that 'Twilight' borrows so heavily from 'Buffy' that to remake 'Buffy' based on the success of 'Twilight' is like remaking 'Teen Wolf' based on the success of 'Teen Wolf Too.' It’s a fucking paradox. Buffy would be its own grandpa!"

    Does that mean that Buffy is Darla and Twilight is Drusilla? Though, it looks like Angel still gets to be Angel.

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  27. Having been a Buffy fan & hardcore Whedonite for over a decade. Having read all the Anne Rice vampire books (but not Twilight – what am I, immortal?) I can safely say that a Buffy reboot based on the success of Twilight will suck elephant butt. Joss is the creator of all that is televisual goodness and the launcher of various careers. Buffy without Joss is like Buffy without Buffy. Not to mention the fact that ALL potential slayers are now full slayers and Buffy has been rounding them up and training them etc for over a year! I give this a FAIL.

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  28. PS – only recently discovered this site – you guys ROCK!

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  29. I can't believe no-one's mentioned the good the Kuzuis have given us!

    Uh…the good FILM they have made for us.

    A porn comedy.

    Called Orgazmo.

    So…there?
    (Yes, tongue heavily in cheek. It amuses me no end that their ONLY good credit is financing "Orgazmo". How long until a Matt and Trey-less Orgazmo reboot?)

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  30. the movie would be an epic FAIL. No one can do those characters except the original actors. Next I'm gonna hear that Zach Efron is playing Angel…

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  31. I have a theory that every major plot occurrence from any of the Twilight books can be found in either Buffy or Angel. Good to see others have noticed it as well.

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  32. All right, I've been reading through your archives, and a lot of the comics made me laugh until I couldn't breathe, others just made me extremely angry at the Hollywood douchebags that think they can get away with anything they want. This comic is one of the second sort. I'm sorry, but Buffy without Willow, Xander, Oz, Angel, Spike, Drusilla, and yes, even sometimes Cordelia, (most of the time, she makes me wanna retch, but I can tolerate her in small doses) just isn't Buffy. One of the things I absolutely loved about the series were the uber-nerdy exchanges between Willow and Xander, and sometimes Oz. The idea of having Buffy without those is so horrid, I can't even fathom it right now. Also, the fact that they're doing this without Whedon Almighty makes me think they're up to something… something that could possibly melt any Whedonite's brain should they happen to even glance at the screen while it's playing.

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  33. It’ll suck. But I am afraid to admit that curiousity would probably get the better of me and i would have to see how crappo they made it.
    (note: i would never see it on the big screen though, assuming it ever got there, which i doubt it would because without whedon it’ll suck in an unexplainabley horrible way.)

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  34. Ouroboros….can we tie Millennium it to this? Using Lance Henriksen as the Librarian.

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  35. Ok I am french, and 40 something, when I started watching Buffy I was living in L.A. so KCOP –>UPN, I ate it up like candies and it has been bliss and a love story for seven seasons. So what I think of a movie about B. without either Joss or Sarah is that it would amount to pile of dirt and as I know Hollywood exec if they try that stunt and I am not happy with it, I'll come back torch the place and make them suffer an horrible death to wich swimming with shark could be compared to a nice vacation and that's all I have to say on the subject.

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