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HijiNKS ENSUE just turned 8 years old!
(*COUGH! COUGH! Obligatory links to Patreon, donation page and wishlist *COUGH!)

Also HijiNKS ENSUE has moved to a once a week update schedule and is ending in 2016 is on hiatus while I work on how and when to end it properly.
Read more about the end of HijiNKS ENSUE  HERE.

ALSO ALSO I am launching a new comic on JUNE 1st!!! Stay tuned for info and a link. 

Also also also, I am going to be at Phoenix Comicon as part of Cyanide & Happiness this weekend. Details HERE.


This is mostly a transcript of a real conversation. I got SO EXCITED when we came up with “Hermione Danger,” but Emily’s league has rules against duplicate names even if the other person is 40 states away. I also have to confess that our daughter came up with “J.K. Rolling” after I suggested “J.K. Brawling.” Kiddo plans to start in a kids derby league this summer. They don’t really get to bought. They just learn the rules, the skating and practice eternally until they’re 11 years old (the legal age for smashing into people on roller skates). There’s a guy in Emily’s league whose name is “Problems” and he’s number 99. That’s pretty clever.

Quality Assurance

My new podcast Potter & Daughter is live now! You can download the first episode here or subscribe via RSS or iTunesFancy Patreon Patrons get each episode a week early!

It’s freaking cold! Use code 10offhoodies to get $10 off any and all hoodies in the HE store! Use it as many times as you like.

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Some of my daughter’s favorite songs are from the Buffy The Vampire Slayer musical episode, “Once More With Feeling.” She listens to them and sings them constantly, but she’s never seen a single episode of Buffy. She likely won’t for many years to come. I’m thinking 11-12 at the earliest before Buffy-level violence and sex and goofy facial prothesis are appropriate. True story, for those of your familiar with the songs: My wife just recently had to explain, “His penis got diseases from the Chumash Tribe!”

I wonder what she’ll think when she finally sees that episode. It’s damn near at the end of the series, so she’ll have 5ish+ seasons to get through before she gets to the familiar thing she remembers from her earlier childhood. I wonder if she’ll still care by then, or if my opinion on pop culture will still hold any sway.

COMMENTERS: Is there anything you loved as a kid, or your kids loved totally out of context that would have been crazy innapropes had you known the context?

I’m sure a ton of pop songs fall into this category. Jokes too. I would repeat pretty much any joke I heard on An Evening At The Improv or SNL when I was like 10 years old. Looking back, I’m sure 98% of them were about sex, drugs, airplane peanuts and the deal with them (What is it? What IS the deal?).

So Much Ado, So Little Time

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this “Fighting Time Lords” shirt for you! No, really. Specifically FOR YOU.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts,  nerdy shirts

[For the confusified…]

The man is a machine! And not the “rise up and destroy humanity” kind. He’s more the “I’m making the biggest super hero movie of all time, but I’ve got a weekend off so I guess I gather up all my geek actor friends and make a different movie” kind of machine. I’m not sure of which type I should be more afraid. I mean, as long as Joss Whedon has positive outlets in which to channel his remarkable drive and creativity, I think we’re more or less safe. But what if we have another writers’ strike or some kind of worldwide moratorium on filmed geekiness? What then? I’m talking doomsday devices, cyborg armies, skyscraper-sized monitors barking quipy dialog and cardigans… CARDIGANS FOR ALL! Can the humanity survive a ginger despot with endless supplies of both imagination and ambition? You know how he likes to kill off characters.

COMMENTERS: Whedon came up with the Buffy musical because he and the cast would sit around and play songs and have sing alongs. He made “Much Ado” because he would host impromptu Shakespeare readings at his home. What other “me and my buddies” hangin’ out activity do you think Joss should make a movie about next? Backyard BBQ with Neil Patrick Harris (OMGWTFBBQNPH)? Alternately, what other public domain work would you like to see Whedon adapt?

Baltimore Comic-Con 2011 Fancy Sketches

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this Three Wheaton Moon shirt. You can buy it! Then you can wear it! Only two steps to total geeky happiness? Sign me up!

Three Wheaton Moon T-Shirt, Funny Three Wolf Moon Parody, Wil Wheaton T-Shirt, 3 Wil Wheaton Moon, Clown Sweater, Wesley Crusher, Evil Wil Wheaton

Baltimore comic-con was a blast, and not the kind where I get shot in the chest and die in my partner’s arms forcing him to avenge me and clean up the mean streets at the same time. Honestly, I had intended to this to be my last year due to slumping sales from 2009 to 2010 but the Fancy Bastards came out in force and made it one of my best cons of the year. Thanks! Special ultimate thanks go to FB’s Adam and Casey for hosting me all weekend, driving me around, and throwing me a wonderful party/FB Meetup and to FB Alex for being my booth babe at the convention. Additional thanks to all of the FB’s who came the meetup. We had burgers, hotdogs, drinks, shitty movies and good times in excess of the legal limit as stipulated by Maryland municipal code. See you next year for BatliMORE! [get it?] #imsorry #dontshootme #iknowyouhaveguns

HEY LOOK!: You asked for it, so I added a “Winter Is Coming” desktop to The Vault. I’ve also added “Chibi Wolverine” and “Three Wheaton Moon” desktops as well. Just make a donation of any amount, or sign up for a recurring donation subscription and you’ll get access. I’ve also added mobile versions of these desktops HERE.


Adventures In Self-Imposed Isolation

They are only $15! They will never be printed again, so get ’em while you can.

I posted a new Lo-FiJINKS comic just a few hours before this one went up, so you have have missed it.

True-ish story: I did watch the [Matt Smith] Doctor Who Christmas special instead of the Superest of Bowls and it was fantastic. I really didn’t think I was going to warm up to Smith after experiencing Tennant, but man he has grown on me like giant, crazy floppy hair.

Though I didn’t see the even one second of “The Game,” the commercials or the halftime show, I did enjoy trying to create a mental picture of the whole affair based on what was happening in my Twitter feed. The best I could tell, Rachel from Glee and Christina Aguilera sang a mash up of the national anthem and “Don’t Stop Believin,” The Black Eyed Peas have all been digitized into the Grid and replaced with even less talented robot avatars with cube shaped heads, Groupon did several ads promoting the group savings benefits of genocide, oppression, and other atrocities and apparently the Greenday Packmen outscored the  Philly Cheesesteaks in terms of points. You know the old saying, “he who scores the most points within the allotted time shall be determined the winner.” Truer words, am I right?

I’m not trying to be one of those, “I’m too cool for football because I’m a hip internet type, deeply in touch with my own personal brand of irony, etc, etc, blah, blugh.” On the contrary. I understand the rewards that come with shared experience and how geeking over football stats is the same as geeking over any other sort of geekery. I just don’t understand football at all. I look at it and I see… nothing. For me a football game is like listening to someone speak a language you don’t understand while watching a crowd of people wait in line for a roller coaster. Slowly they advance towards their goal, but often there is no movement for 12 or 20 minutes at a time. I realize that I’m not the “enlightened one.” I’m the one who is missing out. It’s like Josh and vaginas. I just don’t see the appeal and I will never understand it’s mysteries.

Back to that Groupon thing… holy shit. From what I understand about TV advertising, a terrible offensive commercial can’t be shown during the Superbowl by accident. At least a few people have to sign off on it, right? So that means there are multiple individuals in the world that think it’s a good idea to show “the lighter side” of the oppression of the Tibetan people by saying it might save you a few bucks on dinner in Chicago. Stay classy Groupon. Luckily, never do anything with anyone so I can’t use your stupid service. Here’s an ad pitch for them: Hitler might have killed 6 million jews, but using Groupon we were able to get an amazing deal on a recently vacated tenement building in a Jewish neighborhood in Berlin. Thanks, Groupon!

COMMENTERS: Did you watch The One Game? For the football or the commercials? What was your favorite/least favorite commercial? Any excitement for the geek movies that aired trailers during the game (Captain America, Cowboys and Aliens, etc)? If you didn’t watch it, what ever did you do? Was it fun? Can I come next time? Feel free to make up your own Groupon ad campaign as well.