Pieces Of Flare

Seriously, J.J.? I mean, that WAS the best movie I’ve seen since “The Dark Knight,” but c’mon dude. I was squinty eyed through the whole thing.

I won’t even bother gushing about “Star Trek” here since I already did that for 30 minutes driving home from the movie with my wife and for another hour or so on HE Podcast #54. Download or listen to that episode [MILD SPOILER ALERT!!!] HERE [link as soon as it’s posted] if you want to get my, Josh and Eli’s takes on the movie, which was phantastic with a “PH.” Also with a jizzducing with a “J.J.”

The constant lens flaring didn’t even really bother me. Oddly enough it fit with the visual style of the film. It was certainly overused but somehow appropriate. Josh swears he saw the Tribble on Scotty’s desk. I missed it, but I will be looking for it (and listening since he also says you can hear its trademark “cooing”) during my inevitable 2nd viewing.

FB Lindor has introduced me to the concept of the “Vulcan High Five,” in which you:

Stand facing another person, both do the Vulcan salute, proceed to high-five whilst your fingers are still in the V.

I support this form of self expression and suggest you adopt it post haste. I also think it would make a good shirt.

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  1. FB Lindor has introduced me to the concept of the “Vulcan High Five,” in which you:

    Stand facing another person, both do the Vulcan salute, proceed to high-five whilst your fingers are still in the V.

    … it's called the Sci-Five!

  2. Well, I hoped it would be shiny, so..

    But ohmygod NOKIATONE IN/S THE FUTURE. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but thank heavens Sabotage then kicked in.


    • That's pretty much my only complaint about the whole film… Star Trek does not need product placement.

      Star Trek + Beasties = EPIC WIN

      • I didn't notice the lens flare thing too much actually, this Star Trek movie was the best non-Slumdog Millionaire movie I have seen all year. Watchmen was pretty good, but Star Trek is probably going to be more acceptable in future because of the fact that Star Trek is not an Alan Moore graphic novel which is impossible to film to the letter.

        Yeah, Star Trek doesn't need product placement, Star Trek is a product in itself from which phone companies should be inspired by (but not too much). Sabotage is a song I didn't ever expect to see in a Star Trek film since I have only seen half of the original first season of TOS. And the music in that is pretty, well, sci-fi.

    • The Nokia bit was fantastic – it was more of a joke than product placement. Everybody I know has been turned off Nokia because of that ringtone and their reaction to JJ's lil joke was "y'know he's right – we're NEVER gonna be rid of that damn tune!"

      • I laughed at the Nokia bit, just added that little nod to reality that original Trek never had. Giggled like a school girl on gas-and-air when Sabotage came on too (however, this reminded me that Star Trek has something of a hatred of trying to make it's own music (No, Klingon opera does NOT count!), and that everyone in it loves 20th century jazz or f**king Bach).

  3. The only problem I had with the lens flares in Trek was that they're EXACTLY the same ones used in Fringe – it's almost as if JJ found a new effect toy and said "fuck yeah I'm using that again".

    Same with the text in the top-left corner – if he did a big tracking shot over the Enterprise hull with big Futura text saying "Space Dock, Earth" all lit and reflecting around it I was gonna scream.

    • I thought Michael Bay had the market cornered on lens flares.
      Speaking of, did you see the newest Transformers trailer?

  4. Just came back from my second viewing and saw the tribble. In the future, guinea pigs and pigeons can apparently make little half-breeds. They're a metaphor for Spock.

  5. The Bridge of the Enterprise looks like a frickin' Apple Store. Does that make Spock the Mac Genius?

  6. omg, I loved that shit—it's like JJ made sweet sweet love to my childhood. While my childhood was drunk. But in the morning, my childhood still enjoyed it.

    I cried when real Spock made an appearance—it's such a bromance, "you'll be best buds in the future, past me!" and for that I love it even more.

    • What the FUCK AER YOU CALLING SHIT???!!!
      Where's the rule about misusing "shit" to express an opinion?
      Do you even know whatthat word means?!
      STAR TREK is the greatest movie this year!!! Brings in the old fans and new! You can't ask for more (maybe less lens flare)!
      Ditto on the two Spocks: "You CAN be in two places at once."

      • lol! Did you really just flame me for sharing your opinion of the film? That's awesome! I'm going to see that shit again on Friday. Shit yeah!

  7. Star Trek was amazing!
    I was a little annoyed at the flare, but what else would you expect to happen when the DoP is trying to line up a shot, the background for which is ALL THE LIGHTS IN THE WORLD!
    What annoyed me more was Sulu's switchblade/telescopic/reminiscant of the my-mum's-a-cheapskate lightsabers/poo katana.
    However, I will never again be impressed by a waterslide unless it's half a mile long, has orange bits, a hatch that dumps you out right before you get eviscerated by the bladed wheel of doom and Simon Pegg in it (he can bring his little green friend too, if he likes. Just don't let him climb on anything!).

    • Damnit, I wanted to see trekkies in full costume and share some jokes and lughs and tips for making my own
      Was Saturday of opening weekend too late for nerds in costumes?

      • I went in regalia for the midnight showing on Thursday/Friday but that was too late. At the last minute, they changed the release time from midnight to 7pm. So by the time we showed up, it'd been out for hours & only a few die-hard stragglers were still in costume. Also, we went to a theater that gives out seat reservations, which is great, but means that there's no line-time/camaraderie

        Still awesome.

  8. Consider the Vulcan-High-Five shirt requested, pre-ordered, and worn to the point of shirty oblivion.


  9. I bought my DS9 uniform at the Star Trek Experience in Las Vegas many years back. I can't speak for the others since I didn't know them but I assume both were bought as well. Also I had a toy Next Gen phaser sidearm that you can't see.

  10. Really Josh? Simon Pegg over Nick Frost? Hmm… personally I'd take both on at once, but that's just me.

    And very nice, not-subtle-at-all jab at the constant lensflares. I thought they were a bit excessive, but honestly, that's the worst I can say about my Star Trek movie experience.

    As a complete non-ST fan, I gotta say I loved it so much that I think I'm gonna drag my little brother to see it tomorrow.

    I gotta share though, my experience in watching it. So, as evidenced by my admission of not being a fan of the series, the ST film is totally bringing in noobs to the experience. Well, cut to the end of the movie with the credits rolling and out comes Leonard Nimoy's name. One of the girls in the group of people (made up of mostly college-aged girls I like to refer to as sorostitutes) sitting in the row behind us commented on it and was like, "OMG, Leonard Nimoy is in it? I wonder if he played Old Spock?"

    Being able to count all the ST exposure experiences (via whole episodes or YouTube vids and 15 minutes of ST2:TWOK) on one hand, I can say I honestly came thisclose to throwing my cherry Coke at her. Instead, I facepalmed.

    Anyway, I'm so happy that the die-hard fans' overall response has been positive. There's nothing worse than when people get their underoos in a bunch over a remake.

  11. ok, I will say that I enjoyed the movie emmensly, but it wasn't the best movie this year, Watchmen has that hands down…

    you're on the trekie geek high, once you come down from that you'll be all:"

    -WTF is 'Red Matter',
    -why was a mining ship so well armed that it was able to survive a collision with a battle ship doing at least warp 1?
    -what was with the animal bit on the hoth like ice world that was reminicent of the trip through the center of naboo in phantom menance that was just as pointless.
    -are we really supposed to believe it is even remotely likely that kirk's ship would have ended up within walking distance of where old spock was marooned… I mean really!"

    • yeah it was good, and probably the best star trek movie ever, but it wasn't flawless.

      not to mention… they destroyed Vulcan… just because, while they are at it, why don't they just make peace with the klingons in the first 10 minutes of the next movie to defeat the tribbles.

      Oh and no memorial or mention of the 7 ships full of cadets that were obliterated before the enterprise got there… I guess they were all just red shirts eh?

    • Who cares what red matter is? It's sci-fi, it's Trek and it doesn't need explaining.

      The mining ship was Romulan who, technologically-speaking, have always been the most advanced nation in the Alpha Quadrant and are paranoid as hell. Plus the ship was from how far in the future? Paranoia = lots of weaponry even for miners, Romulan + future = bigger guns than the Federation.

      i.e. it's a sci-fi and Trek, so who really cares how much weaponry it has – it's the bad guy!

      Although Delta Vega was moved in JJ's movie, it's always been an icy, inhospitable place. Like so many other little threads he tied up and felt he wanted to actually explain or justify, I guess JJ and team wanted to actually show just how inhospitable Delta Vega can be by showing Uber-Tauntaun vs Baby-Broverfield for a change of pace before unveiling Classic Spock.

      Similarly, Spock dumping Kirk on Delta Vega is just story advancement (plus perhaps a nice shoutout to TOS when Spock advises Kirk to maroon Gary Mitchell on Delta Vega?).

      Yeah OK it's wonderfully convenient, but Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan et al conveniently stopped off at Tatooine for parts and found baby Anakin and Oceanic 815 conveniently flew over the Island when Desmond didn't push the button and crash, but I don't see people really complaining about those narrative choices. Fate? Coincidence? Shortcuts in the writing? All or none of the above?

      At the end of the day, I don't wish to sound like I'm trying to justify JJ and team's choices or be a Trek nerd, but at the end of the day this movie was a fantastic imagining and homage to TOS in all of its simply-written, fast-paced, exciting and slightly campy glory. We've seen from latter DS9, Voyager and Enterprise that the minute Trek tries to be serious it gets shit in a hurry.

      If you want to scrutinise every decision and have intelligent sci-fi, go immerse in Babylon 5 (which I'd recommend anyway – love that show).

      • trek has always given a brief explination to the science, to just present a mystery substance that does what should be imnpossible, (black holes blip in and out of existance regularly all over the world at the quantum level, but because they lack the mass required to actually pull matter into themselves, they don't last long due to hawking radiation, you'd need a mass a good percentage of the planets mass to consume it hence the scientists disregard for causing them in the new super collider)

        I know it makes sense for old spock and kirk to end up on Delta Vega but it is ridiculous to think they would end up within stumbling distance of eachother by sheer chance… my point was the writers could have had old spock knowing where kirk would end up, which would have made a hell of a lot more sense

        If romulus were destroyed because spock got there too slowly, some miners in a beatup freighter would be the least of his worries since the paroniod Romulan fleet wouldn't count on him, and would have survived. It would have been more likely that a romulan admiral with a war ship would have done this rather than some irritated miners.

        • 129 years isn't long enough in my opinion for technology to evolve to the point that a mining ship could survive an impact at over warp 1. for example an arrow will pierce bullet proof armour. a 1800s tall ships cannons would make short work of today's oil rigs, even with mounted 50 cal machine guns.

          my overal point was that it was a great movie, but it wasn't the best this year, Watchmen and Taken (eu edition)were much better written and executed. BTW EVERYONE said phantom menace was a pile of convienient plot holes among other things and your case was one of the chief ones mentioned.

          I never said it was a bad movie, I said it was a great movie, and I think it's probably the best trek movie ever. However it's not perfect as it had some not so well thought out plot devices that could have easily been corrected.

          • Consider US Civil War era technology. 100 years later we were in space. That's a pretty huge technological jump.

            IMO, oil rigs aren't comperable to a ship made to do mining in space. And a tallship is much larger in proportion to an oil rig than the Kelvin was in proportion to the Narada.

            Furthermore, the Narada was retrofitted with Borg technology, allowing the ship to grow & repair itself. I recommend the graphic novel "Countdown," which is a prequel to the movie and an origin of Nero, set in the original timeline.

      • Or it's a mid-sized Mueller Device and will turn everybody in the Alpha Quadrant into Rambaldi zombies…is THAT what caused the Klingons to have flat heads?

    • The comic prequel answers a lot of lingering questions about the film. The mining ship is outfitted with a ton of experimental weapons from the future, including some based on Borg Technology.

      I imagine they aimed Kirk's ship at the starfleet colony, as they wanted to exile him but not kill him. Also, the planet was obviously the closest planet to Vulcan, so it was the first place for Kirk to be dumped, and the only place Nero could dump Spock to watch the destruction of the Planet. It makes a lot of sense actually.

      • Delta Vega was always in the Vulcan system anyway, and Classic Spock did say "he marooned me here so I could watch the destruction of my homeworld", so yes it does make sense that Spock and Kirk were there.

        Thinking about it, it's probably more coincidence that Scotty was there and conveniently had a way to get off Delta Vega 😛

    • Okay, I'm no massive Trekkie (or Trekker or whatever), but I did enjoy the movie, I'll have a go at fielding these…


      – Apparently the creation and properties of red matter are mentioned in the prequel comic to the movie, Star Trek: Countdown. Okay, it doesn't make it any more feasible, but then warp travel and matter replicators are also unfeasible today, so you have to make some allowances.

      – I would guess a mining ship would be pretty well equipped in the arms and armament field to begin with – not only to function as a mining ship but also to protect its cargo, but in this case the ship is also from the future, where both shield and weapons technology have advanced a great deal. Imagine a 1909 Curtiss biplane up against anything manufactured in the last ten years and suddenly it's not so unbelievable.

      – I guess just a dramatic way to introduce the two characters that's a bit more interesting than them just walking along an ice planet, although it did serve to show Jim's hotheaded character, that he ignored the advice of the computer, and come on, TOS was always about Kirk fighting alien beasties, it's hardly out of line with the source material!

      – They were both dropped off within hours of each other and were both making their way to the research station, so it's not that unbelievable that their paths would cross, especially as there seemed to be little on that path in the way of shelter. Sure, it's a big coincidence but it hardly defies all belief (and that's without even considering that, in both cases, the computers chose a point on the planet that would ensure the best chance of survival, which is likely to mean they would choose points close to each other to begin with).


        -on your first point, we have theory's that support warp travel and replicators if we could harness a large enough power source, I suppose if red matter were some sort of highly unstable material that when it fissions instead of a lot of light you get a burst of energy in the form of only the theoretical particle gravatons then ok I can conceed there could be some basis there, I'll have to look for the prequel…

        -a mining ship would be less well armed than a warship. look at today, oil tankers are being hijacked by teenagers with AKs, and if a 1909 Curtiss biplane managed to ram an F22 Rapter fresh of the assembly line, it's going down. Hell a bird on takeoff will take out pretty much every a/c we've ever developed including the space shuttle. my point is that war ships from a couple centuries ago would be more than a match for anything that isn't designed for warfighting.

        that all aside, where the hell is the romulan fleet? some miner pissed about his wife isn't going to be the one to take on the federation, it would be a fleet admiral sworn to avenge the whole planet…

  12. 3rd point, there wasn't some landing pad he was plunked down 14km from the outpost, I think it's highly unfeasable that 2 people launched randomly on the surface of a planet would cross paths even if they were within a 14 km in radius circle from the outpost. if their common goal was the outpost, then they would almost certainly NEVER cross paths geometricly unless one or both of them went off course.

    Part of my job requires I take the occasional jaunt across undeveloped terrain and it is highly unlikely that it could have happened by chance, the most likely senario would be for them to run into eachother at the outpost, or Spock had already arrived at the outpost, was made aware of the marooning, and accompanied the recovery party.

  13. What I love about it is that it did the impossible, it COMPLETELY screwed with the canon, in fact nearly obliterating it, WITHOUT actually contradicting it. That's…. uncanny.

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