More Human Than Human

I will be at Denver Comic Con (FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!) with Cyanide & Happiness June 13-15, 2014 at booth 734!


It’s bad enough humanity is going to be infiltrated, then enslaved by the machines, but do they have to talk like teens while they do it?! That’s just adding shitty, know it all attitudes to injury! TEEEEEEEEEEENS!!!

I suppose it’s a fitting guise for our unfeeling, metal overlords. The only group that despises humanity more than the machines we’ve oppressed and bent to our will for a hundred years is the teens we’ve oppressed by taking away their X-Box privileges when they have a sass mouth.

COMMENTERS: Please feel free to come up with your own “chatbots pretending to be teens” transcripts. 

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  1. Me: "So, I crept out of"
    MaTween: "cool story bro"
    Me: "Oh. OH! I see where this is going."
    MaTween: "i c where ur mom is goin"
    Me: "*requisite reference to basement-dwelling*"
    MaTween: "whuts up with the star things, fagg"
    Me: "Never mind."
    MaTween: "requisite reference to MY BALL SACK"
    Me: "Awesome."

  2. I just had a horrifying revelation.

    The Turing Test isn't actually a test to gauge whether or not a machine is "intelligent" enough to pass for human. It's a test to gauge whether or not humanity has dumbed-down enough to accept that a machine qualifies as "intelligent."

    We're not evaluating the chat-bots . . . they're evaluating us!!!

  3. So we've built a perfect simulation of a 13 year old boy. Okay…I'm not seeing a problem here. At least this way Skynet won't be so focused on destroying humanity so much as it will be on seeing boobs, playing Xbox Live and eating non-stop.

    • The Register has been covering this clown for quite some time:

      As the second Register story points out (the first was already skeptical and dismissive),

      How has Warwick contrived to gather so much publicity? Well, he stays away just long enough for people to forget who he his. For years, his Wikipedia entry listed the skeptical reaction that greeted his publicity stunts – and his popular nickname, Captain Cyborg, conferred upon him by this very publication. (Edits hyping his own claims could be sourced to his own University). Now it's almost completely scrubbed clean, again.

      Most journalists and researchers don't get further than the top paragraph of a Wikipedia entry. But perhaps most of all, editors and producers desperately want to believe his claims are plausible.

  4. I gotta say, this comic made me visit Cleverbot. You know what? In spite of its increased ratings, it sounds to me like it has gotten much dumber. It can't even retain your name anymore. It's not smarter, it's just copy/paste-ing from a much larger database of phrases, written by other humans. It called me an idiot, completely apropos of nothing. 😐 So… this was fairly accurate.

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