Meowmicry (Tivo’s Perspective)

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I mentioned in the comments to THIS COMIC how I thought it would be neat to see the same events from the cats’ perspectives. Then, I made good on that threat HERE. And now, yet again, I am your macabre host as we journey into the inner monologue of nature’s dumbest dumb butthole, the cat.

Tivo was our first cat. He was frisky and cute and insanely hyperactive, so we got him a friend – Replay. Instead of calming him down, this action irreparably broke his brain. Ever since introducing replay into our lives, Tivo has been paranoid, nervous, skittish and terrified of basically everything. Add to that the grumpiness and whininess that comes with being 10 years old (275 in cat years), and he’s basically just a musty bag of spite and complaints.

Tivo’s only desire and only pleasure in life is to be sitting on my wife. When this is possible, he is content and quiet. When wife-sitting is not a possibility he just sort of roams around the house, carrying his favorite scarf and cries through his clenched teeth. It’s an inconceivably pathetic display to behold. We’ve long assumed that his only hope for the future is to burrow into my wife’s ribcage and lie there, completely content, until he dies. Christ, what a dumbass.

COMMENTERS: What would your pets name you and the other members of your household?

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  1. Do you have a really old cat called Divx that looks like it's honestly dead most of the time but then moves from room to room when you're not looking?

  2. Our two, Optimus and Spot, probably know me as Sleep-Companion or Treats-Provider, and my other half as Food-Giver or, more likely, He-Who-Grabs-Us-And-Demands-Attention. Which is funny because that's what we call *them*.

    If I am in bed or on the sofa, so is at least one of the cats. If I am working, at least one is asleep on my lap. My other half is the one who generally feeds them, but he also likes to play and pick them up when they are sleeping.

  3. Hmm, one cat calls me "stop stroking and i'll cut you"
    the one who just moved in one day "call the police! stranger danger!"
    and the one that lives next door "yes i know it's your kitchen but this bowl
    has no food in it, and look its right next to the fridge also could you open
    the door for me i only like to use the cat flap one way"

  4. JOEL. I have a completely unrelated comment:

    I had an unfortunate incident on the internet earlier today. One of the comic creators I have admired for several years, was really, really rude to me. I'd had them followed on Twitter, and Tumblr. I don't use the same user name across websites, so it was not possible that they had simply built some kind of a personal bias against me, but over time, 9/10th of their personal replies have been rude or hateful. Generally they don't reply at all, but when they do, it's always been negative, for no substantial reason. (This last one, they got angry because I used a cat smile emoticon, for pity's sake!)

    This has happened to me a few times, since I read quite a lot of comics, and try to make positive, constructive, and thoughtful comments on them, or just joke around, to help build the community AROUND a comic. Or even like, a YouTuber, or whatever. It's always really disheartening to find out that a creator is such a jerk, that no matter how good their work is, you can't conscientiously support them. I don't give money and free word of mouth to people who are dicks. Why should I, when there are so many creators who aren't, who make equally good work?

    Anyway, my point is, the rude comment I got was kind of a last-straw for this particular artist. I was feeling disheartened, because but then I scrolled through my inbox, and saw all of your replies to me. They're always really kind and good humored. It cheered me up a lot. Thanks for being an artist AND a person I can admire.

    • Which comic is it? It's so I know to avoid it. I've read some bad things about the guy who makes Ctrl-Alt-Del.

      • I don't really like to say things like that in public. It's a good way to get in a fracas, calling out a jerk by name. It rarely does anything to improve their disposition, and then if they see you saying negative things, they just lash out at you even worse. So I won't say. I'd like to, but I've had enough abuse from them already. 🙁 Sorry.

      • I can understand him being sketchy to the public… He worked hard on the miscarriage storyline and the fan reaction was really harsh. Granted he'd gutted the spirit of the comic by then…

    • Guhhhh, this is the worst. It's happened to me 100 times in comics and in other arenas. They say "never meet your heroes." Although, if I had followed that advice I would have missed out on some of the best friendships and most amazing experiences of my life. There're are far more positive creators out there than dickbags. The dickbags are just louder, I suppose. Comics is weird because it attracts introverts, the marginalized and outcasts, Artists often have something to prove, a chip on their shoulder, social anxiety and depression. These aren't negative qualities, but the ways that a lot of artists choose to deal with them can be negative.

      I'm sorry you had a bad wake up call with an artist you enjoyed, but I'm happy I was able to alleviate that frustration in some small way.

      • Well, it was pretty significant, at least to me personally. That's why I came and posted like a weird three paragraph thing all up on your webcomic. I hope it didn't weird you out or anything, but it was like… you know, that same feeling you get, when you're having the worst day, and then someone comes up to you and does the nicest possible thing. 🙂 I couldn't help myself.

    • It's no longer a "topical" pop culture commentary webcomic. I can't stop the current comic momentum to do a topical story. That's actually why I started doing the FANEURYSM comics, but I haven't had a lot of inspiration for those in a while. I said a few things about NImoy on Twitter, but I didn't feel the need to eulogize him in comic form. He was a great man, with an amazing life and legacy that touched millions. I'm happy he had a long life and was such a positive force for good while he was here. I'm grateful to have share the planet with him for 34 years.

  5. My cat calls me "The guest cat's food bowl is empty" and "The only one I don't want picking me up"

    On an unrelated note, how about the next FANEURYSM be about Wil playing a tabletop game against his own magnificent beard?

  6. Let's see… Both of our cats see my brother, Adric, as the cat-food-giver-person, my cat Silvia sees me as her mommy, and Merlin sees Dad as a warm stationary object he can annoy. I don't usually see my cats as fuzzy dumbasses, but sometimes they do live up to it, like when Merlin sits on top of the bucket of kibble.

  7. I am "Bed That Is Vertical Too Much" and "Since You're Vertical, Why Aren't You Feeding Me?" My husband and son are both "Beneath My Notice Unless The Bed Is Not Available".

  8. Lets see… To reedy I'm "The-One-Who-I-Play-Chicken-With"
    To Oscar I am "Food-person" or "Give me cuddles now" Or "Leave me alone now"

  9. Since they were both orphan bottle babies, Wajet and ReRe see me as FoodProviderButtCleaner and my sons are collectively known as Yo Box Scraper, Shitter's Full! Upon reflection, I think FoodProviderButtCleaner is pretty much how my human kids see me as well…..

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