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I mentioned in the comments to THIS COMIC how I thought it would be neat to see the same events from the cats’ perspectives. Then, I made good on that threat HERE. And now, yet again, I am your macabre host as we journey into the inner monologue of nature’s dumbest dumb butthole, the cat.
Tivo was our first cat. He was frisky and cute and insanely hyperactive, so we got him a friend – Replay. Instead of calming him down, this action irreparably broke his brain. Ever since introducing replay into our lives, Tivo has been paranoid, nervous, skittish and terrified of basically everything. Add to that the grumpiness and whininess that comes with being 10 years old (275 in cat years), and he’s basically just a musty bag of spite and complaints.
Tivo’s only desire and only pleasure in life is to be sitting on my wife. When this is possible, he is content and quiet. When wife-sitting is not a possibility he just sort of roams around the house, carrying his favorite scarf and cries through his clenched teeth. It’s an inconceivably pathetic display to behold. We’ve long assumed that his only hope for the future is to burrow into my wife’s ribcage and lie there, completely content, until he dies. Christ, what a dumbass.
COMMENTERS: What would your pets name you and the other members of your household?