What Happens On The Moon…

Buzz Aldrin doesn’t want us to see what he’s got hidden on The Moon. Is it the corpse of the lost 4th Apollo astronaut? Is it his alien love child, left to mature on the harsh lunar surface only the return to Earth and seek vengeance on his human father when he has come of age? Or did he simply pee his name in the moon dust? Well, if we don’t go back, we’ll never know. Remember what that guy with the head said, “We do these things, not because they are easy. But, because they are wicked awesome.” TO THEĀ  EMMER EFFING MOON!

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  1. @bipolarbear: Man, can't beat that, so here's my lame theory:

    Buzz Aldrin discovered a zombie virus on the moon, and had to kill that dude so he wouldn't bring the virus back to Earth… OH NOES!

  2. I saw him at Houston's NASA's 40th anniversary event — his speech was twice as long as Armstrong, basically told everyone "ur doin it wrong," and showed some slides and graphs no one could make heads or tails out of. That was swell, I have no idea why everyone hates him. At least no one got Aldrin punch'd this time.

  3. I'm not feeling this moon/friendly neighborhood planet-hopping, how about focusing on saving the remains of our dear old Earth? < /eco-babble>

    But really, the reason to stay away from Moon is that there's a secret nazi space base. This must be true because they're making a movie of it.


  4. Haha nice Kennedy paraphrase. I always thought that speech had two odd flaws to it, despite the wicked awesome message. Who says "de-CADE?" Is that a language quirk local only to Hyannisport or wherever?

    Also, how lazy was it to say "… and do the other things…?" It's like somebody left it as a placeholder in the first draft and they never remembered to go back and put in something like "expand civil rights" or "import the Beatles."

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